Flush out thy evil

So last night, I had the shits. Apparently something didn’t agree with me, but we’ve all got those moments, don’t we?
I took a shower immediately afterward, partly due to needing one in the first place, but also because no matter what, after something like that, you just Have To in order to feel clean again.
So halfway through the shower, I feel some gas, just at the crucial moment, when the fart is hovering on the rim of the anus, there’s a slight pressure in my abdomen, and from there a sound. Like grruuuggghh.
Whoa, no way will I ever make that mistake again, so I held it in, and continued on with my shower.
As I’m drying off, I get exactly one leg dried, and there was the pressure again. Only this time it was the ‘FIRE! Run to the nearest exits!’ kind of pressure. So I towel faster.
I glance down at the toilet, knowing that sitting on the toilet with a wet ass is more akin to greasing your waterbed with Crisco and trying to have sex on it. You aren’t going to get good bearings, and you’re stuck there until it’s done with.
Too late, this cannot wait.
I sit, or rather, I sit and slide, but manage to dry off the rest of me while shitting.
I got up to finish drying, and didn’t flush the toilet. I wanted to dry the rim off with some toilet paper, and then flush.
So in strolls my cat, happy to see me out of the bad, bad ‘But water is for drinking!’ place. (Bathecat- DO NOT WANT!) He nuzzles my leg for a moment, and notices that the lid is open on the toilet. (Part dog that cat is, you leave the lid open, he’ll be drinking from the bowl.) He takes a step 'tward it, raises his head, right above the bowl…
And HISSES! Then runs away.
This is my Alpha Male cat, when confronted by another cat, whom he does not like, he never hisses…ever.
After getting a good laugh out, I yelled after him, “Everyone’s a critic!”
Because you know changing the litter box is just like smelling…well, nasty.
So my cat hissed at my shit. Pointless, mundane, and I just had to share.

Oh and I’m sure his smell like the botanical gardens.

Have you ever thought of getting a livejournal account?

I do have one actually. Several blogs in fact. Why do you ask? Is this not the right forum? Did I break any of the rules?