opens cooler filled with homemade Wendy’s chili-cheese-fries and, using an oversized ladle, begins hurling handfulls of the mixture at all combatants
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opens cooler filled with homemade Wendy’s chili-cheese-fries and, using an oversized ladle, begins hurling handfulls of the mixture at all combatants
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One word: coprophagy. Anyone want to mess with me?
Looks like you’ve already “messed” yourself. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Whips out a double-barrel bottle of seltzer, shakes vigorously for effect, then strikes a dramatic pose.
Hrmmmmm… looks like you could use a bath. Hold still.
catches double chocolate cream pie with a practiced snap of his mandibles <Smack, smack> Mmmmm, keep 'em coming Lyllyan. Let’s get some variety in there.
Arrrgghh!
Flings bowls of nice buttery grits, launches 3 dozen eggs from catapult, and sprays the Jell-O jigglers squares with Pam cooking spray.
Using my Matrix-like reaction times and flexibilty, I manage to dodge all food missles hurled at me. However, one lone egg arches lazily through the air and lands in my eye just as I look up.
Okay, that’s it! Somebody’s gonna get a herring shoved where the sun don’t shine.
drops laundry bag and rilfes through its contents, producing fried tarantulas, escargot, grubs and two deadly puffer fish. I place the tasty hors d’oeuvres into the fish and tie small chains to their tails and whirl them above my head.
Hey Flam! Dinner’s on me! <thwump!> No, I guess dinner’s on you after all.
Hmmm, lessee. Where’s all the chili cheese fries coming from?
Oh, there you are. <whirl, whirl>
I would like to move that we should not use this food for violence. Lets pack it into crate and ship it off to hungry needy children.
Nah…
throws pies and canned mushrooms in random directions
ducks the seltzer spray but catches the flying Jell-O full in the face
flings slices of peach, nectarine and melon into the fray, along with some strange-tasting shepherd’s pie and chicken divan, followed by several cans of sardines (some in the can, some out)
BANZAI!!
Throws buckets of tripe and slurry around the room.
dodges Horseflesh’s flying hors d’oeuvres
Nyaah…nyaah; missed!
shifts into LURKER mode and invisibly drifts through the shadows, abandoning the now-empty cooler and drawing his secret weapon, the dreaded Mini-Meatballer[sup]TM[/sup]. tiny meatballs fly about the room, seemingly from nowhere.
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Well, you’ve all been quiet…
:::::opens up a fire hydrant of clam chowder::::
Can’t be here…I’m on the Atkin’s
All right!!
::Swoops in loaded to the gills with cream puffs and chocolate truffles left over from the Rebel Doper Alliance and begins firing at all and sundry::
CJ
continues lurking through the shadows pelting all and sundry with mini-meatballs. considers sparing cjhoworth after he manages to catch some of the chocolate truffles
Ooooo boy, I knew it was a mistake coming back in here!
[picture tritone attempting to dodge the clam chowder (yuk!), but simultaneously catch the chocolate truffles]
Ok, so now I’d better go get that leftover tomato soup… and I know I’ve got a water pistol somewhere…
woohoo! fills BB gun with nerds and starts firing away
i’ll keep my mouth open too - no sense wasting good food!
struts by twirling umbrella overhead and singing "I’m siiiiinnngin’ in the clams, just siiinnngin’ in the clams, what a glor… and catches a high speed meatball in the right asscheek
What the? I see you trying to hide in the shadows, Lurk. No, really, wait right there.
struts over to laundry bag and folds it down to reveal a 50 gal. aquarium.
OK, I believe the Meatball Meister ordered a JELLYFISH YARMULKE! slaps down jellyfish on Lurk’s skull and smooths it out Now let that settle for at least an hour before going anywhere.
Creeps up behind cj and releases Mr. Octopus into her jumpsuit No don’t squirm, that’ll just make him madder. When you get home make sure you throw him right into the pot. Otherwise he’ll be all rubbery when he’s on your plate.
…a glorious time, I’m hap-hap-happy again, just singin’, just singin’…in the clams. Do-do-bee do-bee do-do-do-bee-doobie… Deftly catches truffle and pops it into mouth
:Hits Horseflesh squarely with streams from 2 Super Soakers filled with chocolate syrup then removes octopus from jumpsuit.:
Mmmm! Sashimi!
:Tosses octopus at Res and retrieves Super Soakers:
**Applauds Horsefleshs beautifull lob and hands out the BBQ Beef from 3 weeks ago.Manages to gust dodge the last incoming minimeatball in time to get sideswiped by the latest cream pie. **
“MMMMMMMM…Chocolate!”
** Throws wilted carrots like shirkens.Miraculously nailing Agentfroot in his froot ,whilst handing ** Tri ** some leftover vinagrette. **
** At last lunges for the door. **
Somebody get leechbabe in here. I got a pile of boobie-shaped chocolates to launch in her direction…
Graciously accepts BBQ ribs from TelcontarStorm and pulls them apart creating a makeshift pair of nunchucks from two ribs attached by gristle
Thank you, Tel. Now if I may be so bold as to do my Jackie Chan impersonation…
WaaaaAAAAA!!! Hiiiii-YAAAAAAH!!!