Awright, Flamsterette-X has decided to start a food fight with me. Like all good wars, this one will spill out into the open and have a lot of casualties.
Hence, if you walk into this thread and don’t post, you’ll likely get hit by stray scrapple and other assorted pork parts. Your fault.
Hey, incoming pie! ------=======[}
mmmmmmmm…pie…
I break out of my pie-induced reverie just in time to duck and avoid a facefull of merengue. But will you be quick enough to dodge this water balloon full of cottage cheese?
Ummmmm… incoming R-shaped cake?.. I dunno… 
--------========R
One thing before I post my volleys in war: I do believe you were the one who started it, Res. Remember? We were talking about stoning, then Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery,” then you decided to hit me with a virtual pie. Don’t blame it on little ol’ me. Sheesh. 
Anyways, who thinks they can handle a mixture of tomato rice, BBQ sauce, and mint chocolate chip ice cream?
F_X
Me, I’ll dodge all the other stuff and catch the mint-choc-chip icecream, Flamsterette_X
[minor hijack]
Oh, and thanks for the birthday greeting! I was in Sydney, and hung over, at the time, so not able to receive it or respond.
[/minor hijack]
Ok, so just lemme go get that leftover risotto from my fridge… hang on a minute, that risotto was good! I ain’t gonna waste it throwing it at you lot. Sorry, but a little bit of raspberry yoghurt and half a bag of English Spinach is all I can manage at the moment. Not quite sure how to turn them into ASCII graphics, tho.
Mmmm, stray scrapple and other assorted pork parts make it mighty tempting not to post, ResIpsaLoquitor!
Well, I think I’ll throw around some pretty boxes of delectable chocolates.
Volly of ----------------- @ ----@
croissants!! ------------- @ —@ --@
Comin at cha! ---------------@ --@
Dood! Stop wasting good food. I’m hungry.
::eats all the goodies flying everywhere::
Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. That’s IT!
steps out of the shadows, wielding the Compressed-Air Over-and-Under Grape Cannon/Custard Tart Launcher of DOOM
poses dramatically
Who wants some?
quickly falls under the force of half a dozen pies, three croissants, a water balloon full of cream cheese, a chunk of English Spinach (still frozen), and an assortment of peppermint creams
Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. That’s IT!
steps out of the shadows, wielding the Compressed-Air Over-and-Under Grape Cannon/Custard Tart Launcher of DOOM
poses dramatically
Who wants some?
quickly falls under the force of half a dozen pies, three croissants, a water balloon full of cream cheese, a chunk of English Spinach (still frozen), and an assortment of peppermint creams
Creeps up behind DarkJudicator and pours two large chocolate shakes upon his pointy head
C-c-c-cold, innit?
As DJ spins ‘round to bring the full wrath of his CAOAUGC/CTL on little ol’ innocent me, I whips out my Fully Automatic Slice-n-Dice George Foreman Original Salad Shooter of Death
Ba-aa-a-aa-aaa-aaaa-aa-a-aah! Back to the Shadows from whence you came, foul-smelling one! Back I say!!
reaches into back of refrigerator and pulls out remains of apple-mincemeat pie which has been there WAAAY too long. carefully positions himself just out of range of Horseflesh and DarkJudicator to await the outcome of their face-off
/cream pies!/cream pies!/
get your cream pies here for the big food fight
cream pies!/ cream pies for sale!/
Having wilted DarkJudicator beneath an onslaught of fresh lettuce and croutons, I scan the mayhem looking for another likely victim. Just above the sound of my boiling blood I hear a distant cry…
“Cream pies! Cream pies for sale! Get yer…”
I adjust the setting of my Salad Shooter to Toss With A Vengeance and set the laser sights on the temple of the entrepreneurial (and oh so foolish) Lyllyan, trigger finger at the ready.
[Eve walks into the room with Lord and Lady Ferncliffe, raises her lorgnette and majestically says, “I should like you to make the acquainatance of . . .” and gets a banana cream pie right in the kisser]
Well!
graciously offers Eve the pie he has been holding and points out the direction from which the pie which struck her had originated
Milady, if I may be of assistance?
/cream pies!/get yer cr{smack}/
Loads catapult with double chocolate cream pies, aims at Horseflesh and lets fly the pies of war. TM
That does it…I’m gonna start slapping everyone with this 5-foot bass fish I caught.
:::::WHAP!:::::
Except for Flamsterette. In ironic-literary-punishment style, she’s getting beaned with week-old donuts that are basically LIKE rocks. ------=====O
That’s it, Res! I’m bringing out what promises to be a fine dose of heavy artillery!
:lets fly at everyone with balloons full of red bean soup, shark’s fin soup, crab and lobster parts, pigeon brains, and an assortment of puddings:
Yoo-hoo, Res! Over here!
:shoots him with a paintball gun filled with paint, water, coffee, tea, butter, milk, haggis, pork intestines, soup, napkin bits, veggie bits, salt, and blood:
F_X
entering holodeck
Computer, this is not the program I asked for. I specifically said–
gets nailed with chocolate pudding, double chocolate cream pies, Thousand Island dressing and a five-foot bass
Never mind, computer. I wanna play too!
sets phaser on whipped cream
Computer, one Darvokian cheesecake!