Arrr, I’d skewer me some meat and veg for a shish-k-bob. You can play with the skewers afterward. 
I’m back! There’s so much I miss by sleeping. And yet, I’m ok with that, as sleep is magnificent! 
Anywho, I know I’m a no good, horrible, bad, dirty, heathen of a person for disliking seafood. Trust me, I hear about it daily. And yes, I don’t eat seafood, that includes: every fish, shrimp, prawn, crab, lobster, and partially processed “fish” in a stick product. Hell, even seaweed grosses me out. You’d be amazed how often I say, “I don’t eat seafood” and someone says, “Oh, but you still eat ________, right?” No. No I do not. 
So, although my roommate would love me forever for having seafood, I just can’t stand the thought of my house smelling like that for however long that horrible smell lingers (millenia, most likely). So alas, no fish. Maybe I can make, like, fish shaped hamburgers or something.
Thank all of you for the great ideas! Keep em comin’ if you’ve got more.
Frankly, I can’t believe I forgot chocolate coins! I used to love those things as a kid! I’m going to pick up a bunch. I only ever see the little packets though, does anyone know where I can get a bunch? Obviously I can’t get them online (need 'em tomorrow), but any store that you’ve maybe seen a bunch at would be great.
I also like the skewered meat idea. I’m lazy, so I’d probably get those ones from Costco that are delicious and I can’t screw up. But yeah, fantastic idea!
I’m going to the dollar store tonight and picking up a bunch of swords, as well as some eye patches (our dollar stores have a surprising amount of stuff). I don’t know if the boys are dressing up, but the girls are all dressing up as whor-- er – wenches. It’ll be a grand time, indeed.
Oh! I really like that pirate cake! It actually looks surprisingly easy, so maybe I’ll have a go at that. Thanks for the idea!
Rum cake. Pirates supposedly soaked cake in rum so it’ll keep longer.
Well, the Monkees used to have commercials for Rice Krispies on their show, so Rice Krispies would be good. Or Rice Krispies Treats.
Because one of the Monkees was Davey Jones, that’s why.
How about Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers? Are those too close to being seafood for you?
Dunno how commonly used oranges were for the purpose, but I know that British sailors got the nickname “Limeys” because they were required to consume a ration of lime juice on a daily basis to avoid scurvey.
And another vote for Grog, though when I hear about Grog, it’s usually just equal parts rum and water.
Have you tried Party City? That’s the only place I can think of.
Get one of those whole pigs with an apple in its mouth.
I really think you wouldn’t go wrong with an “Arrr!” theme to the food, as others have suggested. That joke just never gets old! (And no, I’m not being sARRRRcastic.) And the stupider and more of a stretch it is, the funnier.
So:
ARRRRtichokes
MARRRRgaritas
MARRRRshmallows
HARRRRd candy
CARRRRamel
You get the idea. Just make sure that when you introduce the food, you go all out on the ARRRRRs.
Daniel
You guys are too funny. Thank you for reminding me why I regularly seek y’alls’ advice!
kaylasdad99- Boo! :mad: Kidding kidding That was really funny and just lame enough that I might actually do it (the Rice Crispies, I mean). My friends would get it and think it’s hilarious. I have lame friends, but I’m ok with that.
I also like the goldfish cracker idea. And no, those are perfectly ok!
wolf in second hand clothing- for one of my birthdays when I was a kid, I had a luau. My mom went to this local bakery and made a joke about getting a cake shaped like a pig. The baker thought this was a lovely idea and crafted us this HUGEEEE cake that looked JUST ilke a pig with an apple in his mouth. The shading was fantastic and you can tell the baker spent forever doing it.
But alas, that’s about as close to a pig as I’m getting. Pork sorta freaks me out. Not like, fish freaking me out, but pretty close. I know, I’m a bad person.
Left Hand of Dorkness - Like Peter Sarsguard’s SARS Guard? I actually really like the aaaarrrr idea, though!
I generally think regular margaritas are kinda gross, are there other kinds? (And now I show how sheltered I really am)
Genius!
It’s also important that nobody BARRRRRFs.
Margaritas can be made with just about any fruit-flavored juice, pulp, or liqueur that you can imagine. Strawberry, melon (made with Midori), and mango seem to be fairly popular down OC way. There should be an chain Mexican restaurant with a bartender who can provide you with a full list of available flavors.
And what with Hannukah being in the immediate past, places like Big Lots might be having sales on chocolate coins in large quantities (to clear shelf space for Conversation Hearts, dontcha know). You might also try Smart and Final.
Maybe something from ARRRRby’s?
Random thought on the ads: All this talk of pirates has caused Google to pop up advertisements for law enforcement training and ringtones (I didn’t even know they HAD Law Enforcement ringtones!)
Peg leg chicken- Chicken Wing Drumettes with a jerk sauce.
Rum in a Coconut- Fresh coconut milk/water with Rum and key lime juice- Add some sugarcane juice if you have a sweettooth.
Lots of Brandy, Sherry, and Port.
Barbacoa…
Ooh, good call! Maybe some BARRRRbecue.
Daniel
Ooh ooh, or PIIIIIIIIIIzza.
What?
It works in a New England accent…
PitzzAAARRRRRR…
How about KFP (Kentucky Fried Parrot). Maybe jerk chicken. Fried spam (It could even be fried cabin boy - you never know what happens when you get hungry at sea!).
What movies are you going to watch?
And I hate seafood too. Bleeech.
StG