Currently there are at least two threads in CS that make me feel inadequate. The sandwich thread (who are these people that keep 5 different kinds of cold cuts, 3 different kinds of bread, and 6 different kinds of pickles in their kitchens?) and the cheese thread (it’s cheese; as far as I’m concerned the white stuff goes on my pizza, the yellow stuff goes on my sandwich, the powdered stuff goes on my spaghetti, and the moldy stuff goes in the trash).
Surely I can’t be alone here. Surely there’s others out there who have nothing in their fridges save a gallon of milk, a pound of bacon, a tub of Country Crock and a dozen eggs. Surely some of you have at least a half dozen boxes of Kraft Mac & Cheese in your pantries, right next to the dried spaghetti and powdered meatloaf seasoning packets. Surely I’m not the only one in existence who has never eaten a sun-dried tomato or feta cheese. Surely some of you agree with me that a sandwich is either PB&J or bologna/turky/ham/chicken with Miracle Whip. Maybe add a slice of cheese if you want to get fancy.
I know you’re out there. Come on. You’re the one who dumped a jar of salsa over a lump of Philly cream cheese, served it with Wheat Thins, and called it an appetizer. You’re the one who was in your 20s before you realized it was possible to buy parmesan cheese that didn’t come in a green can, or that garlic didn’t exist only as a yellow powder, or that all mustard isn’t bright yellow and all bread isn’t Clorox white. You buy 99 cent frozen pizzas. You wouldn’t know what a caper was if it came up and bit you in the ass. You were dumbfounded when you discovered there are people in the world who actually enjoy eating vegetables. For you, “going out to dinner” means the buffet at Ryan’s and that’s as fancy as it gets.
You are my brethren (and sistren). Come join me as we drink Bud Light out of cans and eat melted Velveeta 'n Ro-Tel on tortilla chips.
I don’t know if I can follow you all the way, but Salsa & Cream Cheese F-IN’ ROCKS! And while I prefer Miller Lite, I’ve eaten me a ton of Ro-Tel & Doritos over the years.
Sorry, can’t stand cream cheese or wheat thins, have only eaten fresh grated parmesan cheese since high school, knew how to use a garlic press when I was 10, however, i do only like yellow mustard and white bread. I’ve had capers, but don’t care for them, and I have loved steamed vegetables my whole life.
Oh and I usually have 3 or 4 different lunch meats on hand at any one time. (to be eaten with yellow mustard white bread an dill pickles)
Does it help that I just bought eight pounds of frozen fries at Costco? Unfortunately I have both balsamic vinegar and truffle oil. In spite of this, many of the foodies here intimidate me. I think I’ll go eat a hot dog with queso.
Well, I’m not quite all the way in with you. But there are all kinds of foods I’ve never tasted. I’ve never eaten a sun-dried tomato, but I’ve had a souvlaki, which, I believe, had feta cheese in it. I’ve never had most other kinds of cheese, though. Kraft orange slices, medium cheddar, Swiss and provolone are about the extent of it. My wife likes Velveeta, but I think it’s gross.
Don’t know about capers. Or seafood that didn’t come with chips, or in a can with Charlie The Tuna on it. Or the eggs laid by any creature that wasn’t a chicken. I don’t know what mustard that isn’t yellow tastes like. This year was the first time I ever used real garlic, after seeing Emeril stuff a roast with bits of it. I like other breads that aren’t white, but I can’t remember ever having bought a loaf of rye or pumpernickel or anything.
I draw the line at Kraft Dinner, and especially frozen pizza, after reading a Consumer’s Report on them that listed an allowable percentage of bug parts. No mushrooms may enter my house, never mind my body! Can’t stand the smell of Chinese food, don’t know about canapes or flan or tiramisu or tofu. I like cooked vegetables, but not steamed ones. Can’t see what’s so great about slightly warm, still crunchy, all-but-raw vegetables. I have some bologna in the fridge right now, that I keep forgetting to open to make sandwiches for work. With French’s mustard.
Still, we manage to eat quite well, with tasty foods that we like.
I had Kraft Mac ‘n’ Cheese for dinner tonight, and I’m drinking Bud out of a can at this moment. I got a little bit “gourmet” with the mac ‘n’ cheese though; I cut up a hot dog and put it in there.
I’m totally a recovering food hick! I identify with, like, everything in the OP. However, I’ve been trying to buy non-white bread for a couple of years, and I sometimes get the “goopy” mac-and-cheese instead of the “powder” kind. <snicker>
It’s hard. I grew up in a household that never saw:
any cheese but Kraft singles
real garlic
non-jar spaghetti sauce
any vinegar but white
any Asian food, period, even takeout Chinese.
And so on. I’m trying to learn to broaden my repetoire, but most of my decent meals are Midwestern Whitebread staples. I make chili that comes almost entirely from an assortment of canned goods, meatloaf that includes “onion soup mix,” a couple of intersting casseroles (tuna noodle, anyone?), and many, many dishes involving Bisquick.
[brag] I’m the freakin’ Bisquick queen! [/brag]
So I’m trying to get myself in gear, though Mr. Frail’s not complaining, but man, it’s so easy to pick up where Mom left off…
Unfortunately for me I had your attitude and belief until I started actually “tasting” food and realizing there is something besides calories, sugar, salt and fat to be found in the vast world of processed food.
My refrigerator has bread, more bread, butter, cheese, and a few apples. In the cabinet I have many boxes of pasta, microwave popcorn, and a few bags of pretzels.
I’m a college student, though, so it’s to be expected of me, and I can go to the dining hall if I want something non-bread (usually I don’t, though.)
I guess my hang up with the OP is not really that you like Dominoes or Mac & Cheese, or whatever. . .those things are extensively researched so that people WILL like them. But, you’re not making food on your own.
I make Mac & Cheese at home from scratch. The cheese is whole milk, bacon drippings and just some shredded fontina and parmesan cheese. It’s got a top crust made with bacon, parmesan cheese and breadcumbs all held together with more bacon drippings.
That isn’t fancy food.
It’s not food to be snobbish about.
What it is. . .is food I make in the kitchen, spending time with the wife, listening to the radio, having a drink. It’s food that fills the house with wonderful aromas that linger. Food that takes times, and allows you to relax. It’s that aspect of food that is missing in the OPs life, not the fact that she likes hot dogs.
Which by the way, I love. I had a hot dog yesterday.
I am now! We’re having a Trailer Warmin’ Party in a few weeks, and this will be on the table. (We move into a new house this weekend, but thought it would be more fun to theme the housewarming ‘Trailer Trash Bash’).
Thanks for the idea
Oh, and to answer your question. raises hand.
The Discos are not fancy. We normally don’t eat “fancy” food because I usually use the ingredients once, and then have to throw them out (e.g. oyster sauce, sesame seed oil etc.) because we don’t make those dishes often enough to use it up before it goes bad.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but hot sauce is my favorite vegetable.
There’s no room for fancy schmancy crap in my refrigerator (Though you will not find any Miracle Whip or yellow mustard either. I don’t like mayo, and my husband insists that Miracle Whip is not mayo, it’s “salad dressing.” Whatever the hell that means. Neither of us likes mustard.) I mean, why ruin perfectly good lasagna by making the sauce white and adding sun-dried tomatoes? I go by some simple rules when it comes to eating:
If it smells bad, don’t eat it.
If you or someone else can’t identify it, don’t eat it. I hate “mystery food.”
Those TV chefs scare me. They never wear hair nets. They’re always sticking their fingers in people’s food and tasting it, then arranging the food with their fingers. Ew!
As a single guy living alone, I can’t afford to keep 10 different types of cold cuts or five pound of Albanian goat spleen sausage around; they’ll all rot before I have a chance to eatit all.
My friidge resembles that of a typical bachelor: lots of craft beers, frozen pizza (not the Jenos crap, but Red Baron or whatever when it’s on sale), boneless chicken breasts, salmon, buffalo patties, and frozen goodies from Trader Joe’s like orange chicken and fajita meals.
I’ll admit to having $4 boxes of spaghetti and linguine imported from Tuscany or Abruzzi or wherever in the cupboards. However, they were on sale for a buck a piece, and I snapped up whatever was on the shelves. Good stuff.
I also have tens of bottles of different hot sauces, but they’re waiting for a party where I have a chance to allow guests to dig in. Cleveland Dopefest '06, perhaps?
The OP is no more in need of liberation than a food “snob” is. Most of us have limited time and limited budgets. Being unsatisfied with the food we can afford isn’t liberating.
Well, speaking of Mac&Cheese, the idea of a crust on it makes me gag. It’s supposed to be creamy, not crusty. If I want a crust I’ll make toast. Besides, you’d have to break the crust to stir in the hot dogs, wouldn’t you?
Please don’t get the idea that I feed my children nothing but processed junk and frozen pizza, 'cause I don’t. Most nights I cook a meal. It’s just that it’s a very plain one; oven fried chicken, frozen corn, and mashed potatoes, maybe (and I draw the line at instant mashed potatoes unless I’m hanging wallpaper), or my famous Crap in a Frying Pan, which consists of whatever Crap I have lurking in the fridge tossed into the Frying Pan with some kind of pasta and/or cheese. White cheese. Sometimes I’ll try to get creative with different vegetables (ie., I’ll pour melted cheese on the frozen broccoli. Yellow cheese.) but I have yet to find anything that can cover up the overwhelming bitterness of most vegetables. Blegh.
I think it was Julia Childs who said, “Whenever I see a beautifully arranged platter, I just know someone’s fingers have been all over it.”
