Food Thieves At Work

Finally, a solution! No, we’re not going to poison them or fry their tongues with hot sauce, although I like both ideas.

No, Anthony Sullivan has finally come to office workers’ rescue! Announcing the Amazing Fridge Locker!

I love how the Grizzly bear can’t get into it. They can tear your car apart to get the hot dogs in your cooler, but a little plastic cage stymies them!

Plus, you can ration grapes and such to your kids so the little bastards won’t eat a whole handful, Og forbid.

If only Billy Mays had lived to see this day…

I was tired of getting my lunch stolen by those little twerps so I got one of those. Those little creeps won’t get my lunch this time. I’ll go get it now. You’ll see my lunch is all safe and sound in the … what the? … WHO TOOK MY FUCKING FRIDGE LOCKER!!!

Interestingly, the commercial following that one was this one! :smiley:

I would take that as a challenge. I’ll bet I could use a knife and fork to cut the food into small enough pieces to get it out. For drinks in a bottle, use pliers to unscrew the cap and drink the contents through a straw. If you really want to bend the owner’s brain, put the cap back on.

Sounds like a job for… Robot Arm! :stuck_out_tongue:

I left a spaniel alone with a bag of malted balls once. She put a tiny tooth hole in the bag and sucked EVERY one of those malted balls out of the bag, leaving the bag looked almost like it had never been used (all this through a tiny, tiny tooth hole).

One problem is the size of the damned thing. I doubt that the typical office refrigerator could fit more than three or four of them. So what happens when everyone gets one?

You come in early, I come in later; I take your’s out & replace it with mine, leaving your food to spoil on the counter. Enjoy your days off with food poisoning. :eek:

Oh, that’s not acceptable??? :smack:

Alright, I’m gonna show those little bastards this time. I got a new Fridge Locker, and this time I chained into the refrigerator using my bicycle lock. Now I’m gonna go home and get some food to keep in it and … hey! … WHERE’S MY BIKE???

[li]Get a cheap, small combination cable lock[/li][li]Pass lock cable through fridge locker, looping around one of the bars of the door, then back, locking it at the rear of the unit, replace in fridge[/li][li]Hide in/near kitchen[/li][li]When the legitimate owner of the food tries to open the locker, they’ll notice the additional lock after first unlocking the door, then they’ll run out, crying foul[/li][li]Emerge from hiding, unlock additional lock, steal food, return to hiding![/li][/ul]

There used to be a Fridge thief who stole my soda. To foil her, I took to putting black electrical tape over the screw-off lid. There was no way she could claim she didn’t realize it was mine if she had to work through all that.

I’ve never had my lunch stolen while at work since I started bringing a cooler that doesn’t go near the community refrigerator. Cheaper than a Fridge Locker, too.

I’m thinking buddy system with a coworker that you trust or at least doesn’t like the same foods. Both of you can store your lunches in it since it has a combination lock.

This is what happened when my coworker discovered someone jacked his halibut from the freezer. He was going to make me fish tacos with that to celebrate my birthday - so it’s like I was robbed too!

My sister’s one dog managed that somehow with a container of sour cream. Somehow in five minutes, the dog managed to lick the whole thing clean and the only evidence was a couple of toothmarks in the plastic. The lid was still on and everything. We still can’t figure out how she did it.

I didn’t have problems with food thieves, just an unreliable break room fridge.

I got an insulated bag and some “ice” packs. (Mrs. FtG’s work got these in package shipments and brought a bunch home.) Kept nice and cold in my desk drawer.

I’d never go back to a community fridge again.

I started to bring very weird food to work, Like, wild persimmons.
Fresh wild persimmons have an astringent that turns to sugar in time,
so, the more inviting they look the worse they taist.:dubious:

A good treat for me, A trap for them.

For no clear reason, I read that as Andrew Sullivan.

We had a food thief. There was a camera in the kitchen. He got fired.