Foot-in-Mouth Disease

Hello, my name is Elmwood, and I suffer from Foot-in-Mouth Disease.

(HI ELMWOOD!)

Basically, I seem to stick my foot in my mouth more so than what I think might be the norm. It’s completely unintentional, but for some reason, whenever I make a comment that might otherwise seem innocent, but a bit “edgy,” it almost always ends up offending someone.

Hypothetical example – I may be on a date, and I might find myself tripping over my words. After catching myself, I’ll make a self-degrading comment like “Looks like I’ve been riding the short bus today.” Lo and behold, her brother or sister will inevitably be mentally challenged.

Does anyone else suffer from this affliction?

Fear not, Elmwood, you do not suffer this illness alone.

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a coworker about a situation that was all fouled up. I used the phrase “Chinese fire drill.” Said coworker’s wife is Chinese.

Doh! :eek:

I have the BEST foot in mouth story. Thankfully, I was just an observer.

I was having a birthday party. Many people were invited. Many people got very drunk. This one guy (who has a very serious girlfriend) ended up fooling around with another friend of mine that most people who were there didn’t know.

(sidenote: they fell asleep with her hand through his fly and resting on his chest. Lots of jokes were made about that seperately)

The next morning, people were slowly waking up. I was sitting down with two friends of mine, one of whom was being very quiet, when two more friends came up to talk to me. We were all standing at the top of the stairs.

So, friend #1 says: “Did you see that girl who was fooling around with Brandon?”

friend #2: “Fooling around? She just fell asleep on his FACE!”

much laughing

Now, during this whole dialogue I was frantically signing to them that the girl who was being very quiet and sitting next to me WAS THE GIRL IN QUESTION!

Friend 1 realized it in a few more seconds. His eyes turned wide, and without a word ran down the stairs, leaving friend 2 still merrily joking. He finally realized it, opended his mouth a few times, eyes wide in shock, then also ran wordlessly down the stairs.

Goodness that was funny!

Open mouth, switch feet. :smiley:

believe me, foot in mouth is a very very very common disease. One of my friends is ALWAYS sucking on his foot. He always seems to say something a bit out of line, or offend some one in some way. Personally I find it really hillarious. We always have to tell him when to hush. lol.
I dont really have the problem very often. The biggest problem I have is being blonde. Almost everything said to me goes right over my head and then hits me in the back a few minutes later. But believe me, dont worry, most people (guys especially) suffer from the foot in mouth thing as well :slight_smile:

My friends had a different name for “foot-in-mouth” disease.
“Athlete’s tonsils”
I suffer from it quite frequently. (Sorry, no story this time; mebbe later.)

Thanks, my monitor is now wearing orange juice. It’s a sticky situation you’ve gotten me into. :smiley:

I have it.

If anyone ever figures out a cure, could you PLEASE send it my way? PPPPLLLLLEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSEEEE?

Scotti