Every other Monday, I go to the bank locally and draw out $500.00 in cash. That’s my grocery money, entertainment money, etc. I don’t pay bills out of it, is what I mean (well, usually a couple of minor ones, like if I have to go to the doc I’ll do the co-pay). This morning, though, I had to draw out $1,000.00 because a guy’s coming by later that we owe $500.00 to.
Even though the bank is right around the corner, I drove there because I was on my way from somewhere else, and it’s raining. So it seemed silly to drive past the bank, park in my driveway, and walk back to the bank.
So I go in and make the withdrawal, and the teller asks me if I’d like an envelope for that. She didn’t give it to me all in $100.00 bills, so it was quite a wad of cash, and I said yes, an envelope would be much appreciated, thank you.
I was only walking from the bank to my car, a very short distance. So I put the cash in the envelope while I was still in the bank, and tucked the envelope into the pocket of my London Fog (I told you it was raining! Plus I got a deal on the coat-perfect condition, just the right size, $4.00 at the local thrift store!)
“Home” is less than a one minute drive from the bank. Literally right around the corner. I get out of the car, reach into my coat pocket for the envelope. . .and it wasn’t there.
Now, I’m approaching 50, and I am menopausal, so sometimes my brain does this thing where it, what do you call it? Oh yeah. Doesn’t work. So I check my handbag to see if maybe I put it in there, in spite of having made a conscious decision to put it in my coat pocket. Nope, not in my bag (on the upside, I did find my missing cell phone charger. . .)
Now, I don’t know about you, but crap accumulates in my coat pockets, especially when they’re nice deep pockets like the ones in my London Fog. So I emptied my pockets. I found: my sunglasses; several packets of Splenda, a couple of loose one-dollar bills, a whole bunch of change, and some random scraps of paper. No bank envelope.
I walked back down to the bank on the off-chance that it was either lying by my parking space, or that someone had picked up the envelope, noticed the bank’s logo on it and turned it in.
Nope.
I tried all the mind tricks: “OK, breathe deep; this isn’t the end of the world. Whoever found it probably needs the money more than us anyway; I can take the $1,000.00 out of my business account, and just delay making the mortgage payment by a few days”, etc.
But if I told you I was not freaking out, I’d be lying. I mean, I’m insanely grateful that we’re at a point in our lives where losing that much money would not put us on the street or anything. But it still ain’t pocket change, y’know? I mean, we’re not rich.
The second time I checked the car, I found it. The envelope had apparently slid out of my pocket and had wound up between the car seat and console between the two front seats!
Whew! That was bad. I can’t tell you how happy I am I found it! (Which is probably why I’m sharing here!)