For Don123 and his fuckwit brethren

[ivan_astikov]

@CannyDan

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

In this case, it’s a rather inconvenient bitch, since apparently nothing short of carbon dated placenta will convince you or your fellow fuckwits of the truth.

Carbon dated placenta wins the thread!!

Here’s *my *five dollars.

You do know carbon dating tends to only be accurate give or take a few thousand years, don’t y’all?
Mind you, that’d probably satisfy some of you lot.

[villa]

@ivan_astikov

You do know carbon dating tends to only be accurate give or take a few thousand years, don’t y’all?

I don’t know that. I just have to take the words of the “scientists” who are all coining money hand over fist from their participation on the “old Earth” conspiracy.

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

@ivan_astikov

Yes, Einstein. In a battle of wits, I’d shit on you in my sleep.

Lacking wit, that would presumably be the only course available to you.

[suranyi]

@ivan_astikov

I was born around the same time as Obama, and I still have a 48 yr old piece of paper that says where I was born and other shit. I’m sure there must be another copy of it in some record depository somewhere, and it’ll be exactly the same as mine, only a bit crisper. If I wanted an extra copy of my birth certificate and told them I didn’t have this one in my possession, I’d expect a proper replica to be available, not a modern update of it. And if I was hoping to keep my job as the president, I’d insist that the original document used for “the copy” was made available.

I was born in 1962 in Pennsylvania, the year after Obama. I HAD that piece of paper, but I lost it several years ago. THERE IS NO OTHER COPY OF IT.

[ivan_astikov]

@suranyi

@ivan_astikov

I was born around the same time as Obama, and I still have a 48 yr old piece of paper that says where I was born and other shit. I’m sure there must be another copy of it in some record depository somewhere, and it’ll be exactly the same as mine, only a bit crisper. If I wanted an extra copy of my birth certificate and told them I didn’t have this one in my possession, I’d expect a proper replica to be available, not a modern update of it. And if I was hoping to keep my job as the president, I’d insist that the original document used for “the copy” was made available.

I was born in 1962 in Pennsylvania, the year after Obama. I HAD that piece of paper, but I lost it several years ago. THERE IS NO OTHER COPY OF IT.

Are you planning on becoming president? No? Then don’t worry about it.

[Wheelz]

@ivan_astikov

I was born around the same time as Obama, and I still have a 48 yr old piece of paper that says where I was born and other shit. I’m sure there must be another copy of it in some record depository somewhere, and it’ll be exactly the same as mine, only a bit crisper. If I wanted an extra copy of my birth certificate and told them I didn’t have this one in my possession, I’d expect a proper replica to be available, not a modern update of it. And if I was hoping to keep my job as the president, I’d insist that the original document used for “the copy” was made available.

Hate to break it to you, but Obama is in no danger of losing his job over this.* He does not have to present anything more than he already has, to anybody. He has been declared eligible for office by anybody and everybody whose opinion is relevant.

A bunch of worthless fucktards on the internet are convinced that not jumping through ridiculous hoops to refute the allegations of a bunch of worthless fucktards on the internet constitutes proof positive that Obama is lying about his place of birth. No, all it proves is that he doesn’t really give a shit about a bunch of worthless fucktards on the internet.
*In the event that Obama loses in 2012, the birthers will undoubtedly claim full credit. They will be wrong.

[waterj2]

@ivan_astikov

Yes, Einstein. In a battle of wits, I’d shit on you in my sleep.

Shitting while sleeping isn’t exactly something that proves your “high-functioning” status.

[ivan_astikov]

@Really_Not_All_That_Bright

@ivan_astikov

Yes, Einstein. In a battle of wits, I’d shit on you in my sleep.

Lacking wit, that would presumably be the only course available to you.

RNATB: He thought he was a wit, but he was only half right.

[ivan_astikov]

@waterj2

@ivan_astikov

Yes, Einstein. In a battle of wits, I’d shit on you in my sleep.

Shitting while sleeping isn’t exactly something that proves your “high-functioning” status.

“Shit on” means “defeat in emphatic manner” in local parlance.

It’s one of those “figure of speech” things you might, or might not have heard of.

[Bosstone]

@ivan_astikov

“Shit on” means “defeat in emphatic manner” in local parlance.

It’s one of those “figure of speech” things you might, or might not have heard of.

It’s a shitty figure of speech.

[Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension]

@ivan_astikov

@Czarcasm

But it would still be a replica, wouldn’t it? Can you prove that it was accurate? For that matter, can you prove that aren’t the bastard son of hydrocephallic dwarf and a two dollar whore? Until you can prove that you aren’t the bastard son of a hydrocephallic dwarf and a two dollar whore, and that your so-called “birth certificate” isn’t a fake, we’ll just have to label any claims otherwise as rumor.
Right?

As I keep on reminding you, it doesn’t matter who, where, when or who to that I was born. I’m not the one being trusted with running the country, fortunately.

So you’re not denying that you’re the bastard son of hydrocephallic dwarf and a two dollar whore?

[Cyningablod]

ivan astikov is also fond of UFO conspiracies. When I did a poll on what other Dopers thought of him, the consensus (around 75%, IIRC), was “full of shit”.

[Guinastasia]

I thought ivan was a truther? So now he’s a birther too? Does that work?

@BlankSlate

If Don123 is “filthy rich” I’ll eat my hat. I’ll eat everyone’s hat.

Unless he inherited, of course.

Ah, but he didn’t say WHAT he was rich in, did he?

I love how he said the Constitution was written in stone, and not a “living document”. And yet, the amendment that proclaims one becomes a citizen by birth isn’t part of the original document. Dumbass)
As for Susanann, that girl’s nuttier than a jar of Planter’s.

[Lobohan]

@Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension

@ivan_astikov

As I keep on reminding you, it doesn’t matter who, where, when or who to that I was born. I’m not the one being trusted with running the country, fortunately.

So you’re not denying that you’re the bastard son of hydrocephallic dwarf and a two dollar whore?

You know, if he’d just release the long form of his birth certificate we could put this to rest.

What exactly is Ivan hiding?

[ivan_astikov]

Actually, everything is related to the “UFO conspiracies”. The lies all started back when the CIA was formed as a direct result of the military’s findings regarding ufo’s. Russia and The West never had a Cold War; they were just stocking up on weapons in case we were invaded. The moon landing was a hoax to cover activities designed to build a space station where they could keep a better eye on the aliens, or retire to if they ever carry out their threat to the aliens that they will wipe out the planet, rather than share it with them.

Is that whackadoo enough for ya?

[El_Kabong]

@Rhythmdvl

Good one El_Kabong. What else can you get him to do?

Not sure, really, but I bet I (and you) could get him to do just about anything as long as it seems to justify his paranoia towards government.

[BrainGlutton]

@Rhythmdvl

I honestly believe in a whacked-out conspiracy theory. I have no evidence, save a gut feeling, that there are two or three repeat trolls who have several usernames.

I dunno – their styles seem to be so different. It would have to be one creative troll.

[SteveG1]

@ivan_astikov

I was born around the same time as Obama, and I still have a 48 yr old piece of paper that says where I was born and other shit.

Prove it. I want to see it. How do we know YOU are not the illegal?

[Fuji]

@ivan_astikov

Actually, everything is related to the “UFO conspiracies”. The lies all started back when the CIA was formed as a direct result of the military’s findings regarding ufo’s. Russia and The West never had a Cold War; they were just stocking up on weapons in case we were invaded. The moon landing was a hoax to cover activities designed to build a space station where they could keep a better eye on the aliens, or retire to if they ever carry out their threat to the aliens that they will wipe out the planet, rather than share it with them.

Is that whackadoo enough for ya?

Satire or honest exposition? Who can tell with a paranoid like you?

[Czarcasm]

@ivan_astikov

Actually, everything is related to the “UFO conspiracies”. The lies all started back when the CIA was formed as a direct result of the military’s findings regarding ufo’s. Russia and The West never had a Cold War; they were just stocking up on weapons in case we were invaded. The moon landing was a hoax to cover activities designed to build a space station where they could keep a better eye on the aliens, or retire to if they ever carry out their threat to the aliens that they will wipe out the planet, rather than share it with them.

Is that whackadoo enough for ya?

Would you mind if we linked to this post each and every time you started another fucking round of “Let’s ask questions and ignore the answers”, just so people really know why you do it? BTW, how are you coming on the proof that you aren’t the bastard son of a hydrocephallic dwarf and a two dollar whore? It’s really too bad that so far there are only rumors that it isn’t true.