Oh I want something to happen.
I don’t want to say what it is yet because I’m afraid of jinxing it.
But it’s something I really want to happen.
There’s a big hurdle coming up and that is completely out of my control. The most I can do for it is show up with the necessary items. I’m set with all of that. But it really is someone else’s decision if this will go any further.
I am so happy that it got this far already but I am trying to be cautious about my feelings. So now I am looking for ways to stay positive and patient. And also to be prepared if it doesn’t happen.
What are the ways in which you help yourself to find a little bit of control in a situation where you’re just waiting for the cards to fall?
Do you believe you can give yourself better luck in any way?
For things that fall outside my control, I try to just not worry about it. I don’t have any superstitions. I think they would just make me worry more, anyway, since I would be trying to convince myself that I have some control over something which I really don’t. I tell myself that either it will go the way I want it or it won’t, and since there’s nothing I can do about it it’s senseless to worry. I have generally felt much less stressed ever since I adopted that philosophy.
Enjoy living of that narrow ridge of not knowing. You have done what you have to do and now there is the waiting which can be very exciting in itself!
I don’t believe in luck, but my counselor told me that there is nothing wrong with expecting the best to happen. If we expect the negative, then we can’t enjoy these days of not knowing and it really doesn’t prepare us for disappointment anyway. So expect the best!
Yes, and sometimes the reasons is: You are just in the wrong place at the wrong time. For no reason. And it may NOT be for the best. If one is optimistic and thinks about anything long enough, he could probably come up with SOME good that comes out of anything, but sometimes it’s a real stretch. I suppose I could decide that some good arose from Hitler and the Nazi party because otherwise my husband would not have been a refugee and an immigrant to the U.S. and I would never have met him. Of course, that’s small comfort to those who suffered and died, and their families. I can’t think of one thing that was better because my mother died. Maybe some medical person got overtime or something, or the undertaker made some money, but that’s about it.
Sorry if this throws cold water on anyone’s optimism, but that’s the way I see it. A pet gripe of mine is the attitude “Well, I guess it was meant to be (or not).” With that accept-everything mindset, we would never have come up with diptheria and polio vaccines, penicillin, seat belts, sewer systems, or coronary bypass operations.
Back to the OP: IMHO once you have done everything reasonable to help the outcome, and you’re just waiting, there is absolutely nothing you can to do change your “luck.” You can in the meanwhile find something useful or pleasing to do to take your mind off the wait.
The one thing you can change is yourself and your attitude about whatever the consequences will be, either way. You can prepare yourself by deciding how you will deal with the negative consequences, if that’s not too painful. Or you can concentrate on the hoped-for positive consequences and act as if all will turn out well. It won’t affect the outcome, but will affect how you deal with the wait and the outcome.
Julie, that’s an attitude I’d like to have all the time and I have used it often to help me deal with a bad situtation.
MLS, Thank you for your advice. I’m sorry that you lost your mother and I know no cliche will change how you feel. I’m sure you can name a thousand positive things from her life and you’re right there is nothing positive about losing a loved one.
I guess when it is something so trivial (what I want) in the scheme of things that I really have trouble staying positive while waiting for the outcome.
In the last few days I made sure to study up on everything as much as I can, hung out with friends, and donated blood. I had the appointment this morning and I should know the outcome in a few days.
Groggery, that was also really good advice. I stuck to the nonalcoholic stuff and felt much better for it.
I got it. It was about a job I wanted. I was afraid I wouldn’t get permission to work in this country. Extra plus I have health insurance again!!! I can finally get my arm sown back on
long version if you’re interested:
I’m already 25 graduated university and in no way prepared for any specific career. So far, I haven’t had any job that lasted more than a year and didn’t require more than just that I showed up each day. I was thinking that I would never be hired for a job that could lead to anything.
And worse yet I had no idea what I wanted.
So I’ve been living on some savings for the last 6 months trying to figure out what I actually want to do with my time and moving in and out of good and bad moods. I traveled a lot and a learned anything that interested me (e.g., HTML yeah baby).
When I finally figured it out, I applied for a buncha jobs, but one sounded really good. I went in for an interview and was offered the job. Yeah! hopes up almost ready to call home with the news but there was one huge problem. I am not a citizen in the country I’m living in and the state has to approve my job. That’s what I was waiting for. After so much hard work and emotional work (trust me I need that) leading me this far my application could’ve been rejected.
This was pretty serious to me (read: I knew the world wouldn’t end but was afraid it would feel like it) to get the job and stay in this country for awhile, and I wanted to hear about other peoples’ situations when they were waiting for something and how they handled it.
It was a comfort to read all of the posts. Thanks guys!
!!
