A new book, being published later this year, speaks to the frustration experienced by parents through the ages of a child that just won’t go to sleep. My almost two-year-old is going through this at the moment, waking around midnight and taking an hour or so to settle down again, so I really enjoyed it…
Here is a sample verse:
Grim
I think I’ll be buying that title in a few months - we’ve got baby # 4 to pop any day now.
Oh I love it. That is incredibly awesome.
Still coffee deprived, I misread this post and thought you’d said you had “baby #4 poop” which made me wonder what kind of gauge a “#4 poop” was.
Is a #4 poop based on size? Hardness, like a #2 pencil? Richter Scale?
Too funny. I’m at an age now where none of my friends have young kids, or I would have to buy it for someone.
That is great. Squeaky is moving in on two as well. What the hell is it about two-year-olds and not wanting to go the fuck to sleep? All three of the boys have gone through this. They go to bed easily and sleep right on through the night up until about a month before their second birthday. All of a sudden they’re like: “Sleep? Fuck that. That shit’s for suckers.”
Ah well, that’s why god created Thorazine.
Saw this a few days ago and loved it, such a great book idea. My 10 month old still hates to sleep, and has not yet slept through the night. Maybe the rhymes will help Mr. Elysium and I not to explode from exhaustion.
My 16 year old STILL won’t sleep. I think I’ll be buying this book.
Yeah, a friend sent me a link to this a couple days ago. It’s what I want for Mother’s Day. I was reciting that verse over and over to myself between midnight and 3:00 this morning. I love that little bugger, but seriously. No one’s having any fun at that hour, kiddo. Just go the fuck to sleep.
Crap … pre-order. The Dudeling has been sleeping though the night since three months, but now that he’s rounding out on two years, some of the above comments sound like where we’re heading. I think it’s because he can now go get toys (instead of us waving entertainment in front of his formerly cabbage-like blob of self) that he’s never quite ready to hit the hay. Would have made a great mother’s day gift. Er, probably not the only one, but a good addition.
Bonus: she’s of the age where you can read it together!
I have a coworker whose sons will be three and one when this is released. I think I’ll have to buy this for her for Christmas.
There’s a scale for everything. A #4 poop is: Like a sausage or snake, smooth and soft
I am so getting that for my oldest daughter when she presents us with a grandchild (might be a few years yet.) Considering what she did to us …
Ha! My son didn’t sleep through the night until he was 4 months. 
At that point,* I *had trouble going to sleep. I was still in the habit of checking to see if he was breathing.
He’s actually sleeping next to me now. We’ve shared a bed on and off and now it’s ‘on’. I still check to see if he’s breathing if I wake up. :o
There’s a mental image to go with the morning coffee! What number is the “Am I turning into a rabbit?” poop?
That would be a type #1 poop, Eats_Crayons.
OK sorry I’ll stop threadshitting. 
I never read this book. But damn if I didn’t say the title every night for a year.
She’s 12 now. Still doesn’t sleep nights.
I think the sequel should be called “Because I Fucking Said So !”
Or “Because I’m your Fucking Mother/Father!”