Foreigner, Head Games, and the construction site next door

The BBQ Pit
1

Look, I know you people have a job HEAD GAMES to do, and I’m actually looking forward to eating at the upscale ALWAYS YOU AND ME BABY Mexican restaurant you are renovating, but could you people knock it off? It’s only 7 AM. To be fair HEAD GAMES I was getting up to go to work anyway but your speakers AND I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE are making my entire apartment reverberate even though all my windows are closed. It is HEAD GAMES a pretty impressive sound system ya’ll have (Is it the same one our troops INSTEAD OF MAKING LOVE WE PLAY used to bug Noriega with in Panama?), but could you at least turn the speakers HEAD GAMES down a few notches from “11”? I really don’t want to have this damn song running in my head throughout the day because I despise Foreigner.
…[sub]<silence>[/sub]…
Oh, thank God.
DREAM WEAVER Oh Jesus no. May you ***I BELIEVE *** burn in eternal ***YOU CAN GET ME THROUGH THE NIGHT *** hellfire for this.

DREAM WEAVER!

2

Party on Wayne!

3

Party on, Garth!

Have you actually asked them?

4

For infecting my brain with that hideous song, there is only one suitable punishment:

Oh Mandy, you came and you gave without taking…

5

I vote you hit 'em back with some REO Speedwagon.

6

Nah. They might like that.

Try Starland Vocal Band. That should send them right 'round the bend.

7

Starland Vocal Band might send Beeblebrox around the bend.

A situation like this calls for heavy artillery. My advice is to absolutely BLAST Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring at them. With any luck, the workers will take to infighting and the project will be scrapped.

8

I recommend Carmina Burana. Very loudly.

9

You know what’s crazy? I don’t like Foreigner either. Never bought a Foreigner album, cassette, or CD. Yet I can sing you at least seven of their songs from memory.

HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN???

Oh, and um… was anybody else completely frightened by the song “Cold As Ice”, or was I just a freaky little kid?

10

Hows abooot the Anvil Chorus? Seems rather appropriate for a construction site, anyway.

11

Anvil Chorus information and audio.

12

Hit 'em with one of Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester’s favorites: Gustav Mahler. Perhaps your local library has some CDs they could lend?

13

1812 Overture accompanied by “cannons” as you pick them off with the AWM.

14

Dig up a copy of The Pogues “The Wild Cats of Kilkenney.” It’s basically just Shane McGowan shrieking wordlessly into a microphone, with a fiddle accompaniment. Shane can scream like a banshee passing a kidney stone. Great stuff. Should blast them into the, um, major body of water located nearest to your location.

15

Tibetan Monks chanting always works for me. Especially when it starts making the fluid in your spinal column resonate.

16

Milly Jackson’s “Fuck You Symphony”. CRANK IT.

17

I’ll eat Milly Jackson’s brains.

18

Slayer. If they don’t like it, they really won’t like it. If they like it, they will get so revved up, they will probably beat the shit out of each other, causing huge delays during which you can get some rest.

Plus you get to listen to Slayer, which is always good.

19

If I had to listen to Slayer, I’d think I’d eat my own brain.

20

Meh. If you don’t like Slayer, it’s not a very big meal anyway.