This question has been bothering me for some time now, so I turn to you guys to help me out. I have a problem forgiving a select few individuals that have caused me great pain over the past few years. It basically resides in one part of my family, my step family. I cannot get along with my step dad, my step brothers and my step brothers relatives. My step dad, Bob, is a very mean guy. He’s never threatened physical violence on me or my mom, but yelling does occur quite often. Here comes the beefy part of my dilemma- about 3 months ago I found out that Bob was having an affair with a women besides my mom. I was crushed. I wanted to hurt him in every possible way. I wanted him to feel pain. But, I never did anything too drastic (meaning I only spit on a few of his things and left for my dad’s house for a few days). My mom still lives with him. She wonders why I can’t forgive and forget like she has. But I can’t forgive him no matter how hard I try. Is it wrong to hold a grudge? I have consulted various places for help on this matter, such as my parents, my friends, my friends parents, my religious teachings and advisors (I’m Lutheran). This guy not only hurt my mom, but me and my siblings as well. He’s never asked me for forgiveness, so I don’t plan on giving any to him. Should I turn the other cheek and forgive? Or wait till he wants to be forgiven? What should I do?
Drew aka Cow God
(Please don’t turn this into a religion theory thread)