You’ve heard “Jingle Bell Rock” for the thousanth time this year. You’re sick of “Little Drummer Boy,” even if Crosby and Bowie do a great job with it. “Little Saint Nick” makes you want to swear off surf music forever.
What are some great popular Christmas songs that are never played at all?
I have several choices.
Augie Rios – Ol’ Fatso. When I was six, I thought this was the greatest Christmas song ever. I doubt it’s been played anywhere since 1958. “Come down from there ol’ Fatso and get those reindeer off my roof. I dom’t believe you 'cause there ain’t no Santa Claus. There ain’t no Santa Claus and I got proof.”
Martin Mull – Santa Doesn’t Cop Out on Dope. A send-up of the antidrug messages of the “Just Say No” era. “Has he even tried it? You know the answer’s nope.”
Martin Mull – Santa Fly. A parody of the Isaac Hayes/Shaft funk. “Climb onto my lap little boy. What do you want for Christmas?” “I want to get down!”
Augie Rios – Donde Esta Santa Claus – the A side of the “Ol’ Fatso” single. Probably due to replace “Feliz Navidad” as the hispanic Christmas anthem.
One of my earliest memories of music is hearing Gene Autry’s 78 of “An Old Fashioned Tree.” I’ve only ever heard it at my house, because my mom had the record. It seems to have slipped through the cracks as far as yearly airplay. I came thisclose to finding it on a CD a couple of years ago on half.com, but the seller was unable to come up with a copy. I’ll have to make do with the 78 for the time being. I waited 47 years to find a better copy. I can wait some more.
I don’t know, because I’ve never actually seen a Gene Autry album. But it’s quite possible, if he had an LP full of Xmas songs. The words go:
Every year, it’s just an old fashioned tree
Filled with tinsel that shone in candlelight
In the window, where neighbors all could see
How we kept our Christmas merry and bright…
I love that piece too! It’s called “Santa Claus and His Old Lady.” It’s on Billboard’s “Rock ‘N’ Roll Christmas” compilation, if you’re interested, Good Egg.
In that same vein, “Twelve Days of Christmas” by Bob and Doug McKenzie never gets played anymore, though I think it’s a hoot. You just never hear a Christmas song mentioning chainsaws anymore…
Same thing happened in my house with Merle Haggard’s Santa Claus and Popcorn. I found the CD a few years back. At least now I can play it when someone gives me the WTF? look.
I nominate “Christmas Must Be Tonight” by The Band (Islands CD). Don’t know why it never had any commercial success, but very easy on the ears and more soul than your average “I’m a big star so I gotta cut a Christmas CD to make myself look good, but I don’t want to spend more than five minutes doing it” crap you hear over the loudspeakers these days.
A locat tv station here plays a strange claymation “video” of Suzy Snowflake at random times during the holidays. They also play this gem called ‘hardrock coco and joe’ about 3 of Santa’s elves. They’re almost scary. The shortlived “TV Funhouse” on Comedy Central made a parody of the elf film called about Tingles, the Christmas Tension Elf.
I’m actually looking at the cover of my Christmas album I got sometime as a kid, it’s a Wonderland label record (33) simply titled Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and other Christmas Favorites. Some of the best Christmas songs I’ve ever heard are on this album and I don’t think I’ve ever heard them on the radio:
How Lovely is Christmas by Bing Crosby
Crackerjack Christmas
I Dreamt That I Was Santa Claus by Ann Lloyd
I have a soft spot for John Denver’s Christmas Songs since my mom played them nonstop back in the late 70’s early 80s:
Aspenglow and Christmas for Cowboys are just beautiful.
We sang that in my choir just this year! I’ve never understood how people named Jeanette and Isabella were supposed to be hanging out in the Middle East around the time of Christ’s birth, but oh well.
My own personal favorite is a song called “Snow, Snow, Beautiful Snow”, but it seems not to be commonly sung at all.
There’s a simple test you should do before attempting to sing O Holy Night. Open your pants. If you do not see a penis, do not sing the song. When sung by a tenor, it’s a lovely song. When sung by a woman, it’s garbage.
I’ve been hearing both a lot this year. But I’ve yet to hear a really good version of “Carol of the Bells,” which only works with a choir. When you get all the voices singing their parts toward the end, it’s spectacular, but most just stick with the main melody, which gets cloying.
I nominate “Lo, How a Rose E’er Blooming.” I love it. LOVE IT!
I also remember a song from my mother’s Christmas with the Osmonds album called “What Are You Doing New Year’s?” that was amazing. Pretty cheesy, but I’ve looked high and low for it to hear it once again. (Woo! On Google search, I see that both Vonda Sheperd and Clay Aiken have covered it recently. Maybe I’ll give the Aiken a whirl.)