Form a superhero team...of non-superheroes!

It’s been a little while since we’ve done one of these—since I’ve done one, at least—so I’m starting up a new challenge thread: form your own superhero team, for any contemporary or near-future Earth you choose (comics-based or not). The catch? The members have to be characters not typically considered superheroes.

(I should probably subcontract Skald to pep up the scenario outline—he’s great at that sort of thing.)

As per the rules in earlier threads, any character who’s not completely villainous or completely dead will qualify. Special powers do not disqualify a character.

My tentative roster, so far?
•James Bond’s Q
Snide gadget man, extraordinaire.

The Doctor (Doctor Who)
Yeah, I know, you could probably just pick him and fill out the entire team, done deal. But having him in a stuck-on-earth incarnation isn’t completely unprecedented, or is having him forced to work with a group.

Jack Valentine (Lord of War)
The dogged INTERPOL agent from the 2005 arms dealing movie. Chosen because of his dedication to justice, experience and connections with international law enforcement…and most importantly, I think he’s the finest example of a true blue superhero’s mindset I’ve ever seen outside a comic book.

(Note: That last part was not a compliment.)

Jake the Dog (Adventure Time with Finn and Jake)
Weird as this might sound, I think Jake’s probably one of the finest depictions of a superpowered character I’ve ever seen. Think, basically, all the growth/shrinking powers of Hank Pym, combined with the demi-shapeshifting of Plastic Man. With a personality somewhere between…well, he’s either Bender on mood elevators, or “The Dude” Lebowski on combat stimulants.

Sure nice to see a shapeshifter who’s even more creative and free with their powers than the fanbase, as well as a goofy “comic relief” character who’s not a completely unobservant, scatterbrained dolt.

So…anyone else want to add in?

Roland Deschain - because the team’s going to need some firepower.

Al Gore, Stephen Hawking, Nichelle Nichols, Gary Gygax and Deep Blue.

It’s hard to beat Alan Moore’s League of Extraordinary Gentleman and his Les Hommes Mystérieux, so I’ll go with contemporary badasses and action heroes.

William Munny
John McClane
John Rambo
Jules Winnfield
Popeye Doyle
Beatrice Kiddo
Yu Shu Lien

Harry Dresden of Jim Butcher’s Dresden series - for magic, pop culture references and one liners. Plus he’d probably consider being part of a superhero team a hoot.

The Armourer of the Drood family from Simon Green’s Secret Histories novels; he’s basically a Q parody with better technology to work with. Plus a personal set of golden indestructible armor. The kind of guy who invents a gun that shoots black holes; “it took four of us to wrestle it away from him before he test fired it”.

Corwin of Amber; somewhat superhuman, can casually walk to alternate universes, plotter and general badass. Plus he can just wander over to another universe and bring back an army that worships him as a god if they need more firepower. Or bags of diamonds if they need money. Probably the team leader, even if he doesn’t start out that way.

Alicia De Vries, Tisiphone and Megaira (they come as a package) of In Fury Born. A moderately superhuman power armored elite special ops soldier, one of the Furies of ancient Greece (in immaterial form), and a sentient starship. Adds some heavy firepower and gives the team transport. As well, between Tisiphone and Megaira they have telepathy and super-hacking abilities.

Sergeant Schlock of Schlock Mercenary; an amorphous blob who is extremely hard to kill and likes plasma guns. He’d love the Armourer’s toys.

Sten of the Sten series. He’ll be the intelligence/black ops expert for the team. No superhuman powers, but is very good at the sneaky & underhanded side of things. Plus he can just bring along some power armor from his home universe.

Using only characters from currently airing TV shows:

The Hero: Carrie Wells, from Unforgettable. Great detective, leadership skills, a past she must discover…

The mentor: Harold Finch, from** Person of Interest.** He knows when there’s a problem and leads the team from a distance.

The muscle: Dexter Morgan, from Dexter. He will solve the bigger problems. Permanently.

The Rogue: Cullen Bohannon, from** Hell on Wheels.** Great shot, cool under pressure. Pretends not to care, but helps anyway…
The comedy relief: Sam Axe, AKA Bruce Campbell from Burn Notice. Charming drunk, deadly operative.

James Bond, Sherlock Holmes, Jack Bauer, Elminster, and The Doctor.

Jason Bourne, Artemis Gordon, Commander Shepard, Adam Jensen, and Sarah Connor.

The team leader/computer is GLADOS.

They could be superheroes, why not?


Daniel Jackson (from Stargate)
Charlie Eppes (from Numb3rs)
Captain Carrot and Sam Vimes (from the Discworld novels)

No semi-superhero team could be complete without Simo Hayha

Jason Bourne and Leon for the muscle, **Dumbo **to get them out of trouble, Clarence Odbody for any problems they can’t handle, Cole Sear for his unique investigative skills, Alfred Borden because an illusionist is bound to come in handy, and Hannibal Lector (“I love it when a plan comes together. Lets do lunch.”) to run the show.

Well, we need a Spider-Man type to take point, super-leaping around while evading gunfire as if precognitive and heaving cars to and fro as per the proportional strength of whatever. And we need a Doctor Strange type to teleport him there ahead of time and otherwise provide miscellaneous support – preferably bodyguarded by a Captain America type complete with useful government contacts – all of 'em preferably working alongside a comic-book polymath with (a) knowledge of tomorrow’s headlines and (b) the power to possess whoever would be in a key spot to make a difference.

So that’s – Luke Skywalker, Gary Seven, Colonel Steve Austin, and Doctor Sam Beckett.

With no real goal for the team, I guess I would pick

Jason Bourne - Muscle, fighting ability, marksmanship and reasonably good at strategy

James Bond (Daniel Craig’s version) - Muscle, fighting ability, marksmanship, ok with strategy, but Bourne is better I think

Hit Girl - Fighting ability, marksmanship, some ability to strategize, stealth (who would think an 11 year old girl is going to be the one to kill them)

Yes as well as
The Doctor

Dont forget the muscle
Jet Lee
Samo Hung
Jackie Chan

You want an ultimate badass team? How about this line-up:

Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China, muscle
Snake Plissken, Escape from New York, muscle
Col. Jonathan ‘Jack’ O’Neil, Stargate, muscle
Wyatt Earp, Tombstone, muscle
R.J. MacReady, The Thing, muscle.
Dexter Riley, The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, brains.

Kurt Russel, Doing Goldie Hawn priceless.

Captain James Tiberius Kirk for team leader!

Rip his shirt, & he’ll kick your @ss!

After thinking it over, I’d like to also include:

Miles and Mark Vorkosigan (from the novels by Lois McMaster Bujold)
Benton Fraser (from Due South)
Sarah Walker, Chuck Bartowski, and John Casey (from Chuck)
Adrian Monk and Natalie Teeger (from Monk)
Dr. Hank Lawton (from Royal Pains)
Neal Caffrey (from White Collar)

I didn’t forget the muscle. Captain Carrot once shoved a sword into a pillar, and Sam (“That Is Not My Cow!”) isn’t somebody you want to mess with, either.

However, a little more isn’t a bad idea.