A number of you are probably aware of the 2012 animated film “Foodfight!” For those who aren’t, think of it as “to ‘Toy Story’ what ‘MAC and Me’ was to ‘E.T.’” An adventure story about food mascots bravely fighting against evil generic brand products.
A naked ripoff and corporate shill, further marred by gross incompetence, poor production values (compounded by industrial theft) and grossly unappealing original characters, it has, rightfully, gained a reputation as one of the worst ideas put to film.
But hey, if there’s anything that life has taught me, it’s that people on the internet always know how they could have done a creative work better. Thus, to that end, I decided to ask: what advertising characters might you pick to headline a movie team?
You know, ones that reach that special balance of charismatic design, artistic appeal, and personal ability that might even make them a decent hero or superhero in their own right, were they not designed outright as a soulless mechanism for advertising processed sugar.
To start with, you might try…
•Pepsiman!
The faceless, chrome-plated Japanese commercial hero! Designed by comic artist Travis Charest, this memetic hit possesses the powers of speed, manifesting Pepsi cans, and enduring comedic minor injuries!
•Erin Esurance!
The Kim Possible-esque animated superspy from the eSurance company! Retired for several years due to becoming overwhelmingly popular in internet porn cartoons!
•The Exterminator…the Orkin Man!
Specifically, the armored laser-toting, motorcycle-riding cyborg version from the early 1990s! Also armed with chemical insecticide that, technically speaking, and at that time, may have been nerve gas.
It’s part of what I miss about that advertising era, really. No family friendly, sunshine and giggles, holistic-organic-green-friendly stuff here…it starts and ends with Robocop going weapons free, eight o’clock, day one!
So…anyone else want to indulge?
