Four questions re crapping during this week

I have four questions:

  1. Why during this week, but no other week, is it so hard for nearly 75% of the population of an entire country and nearly 2% of another to push one out?

  2. On all other nights those people can eat a) leavened or unleavened bread. This week they are commanded to eat b) unleavened bread only. So, empirically, I suspect it has something to do with b). Why does that food that make those people more clogged than an expressway during rushhour?

  3. Why during this week do their dogs emit room-clearing farts from matzoh snacks?

  4. What did God intend that Jews have a colon the size, shape, and ductility of a horseshoe?

These are evidently more intended as jokes and not real General Questions, so I’m closing this. I suppose you might repost this in either IMHO or MPSIMS, but out of consideration for the moderators of those forums I am not going move all this crap (;)) there myself.

General Questions Moderator