See subject.
[Note: Try to keep Jackie Mason-style responses to a minimum. This is a real question. :)]
[Note to Mods: This is my altered repost, sans Jackie Mason appurtenances. I hope it too will not be banished…:)]
Lack of fiber. The matzo I remember growing up as a kid with Jewish relatives was made from highly refined white flour.
Try whole wheat matzo if the occasion allows for it, or else increase your intact of high-fiber vegetables and fruits.
Hence my memories of prune juice being so ubiquitous during Passover when I was young. I don’t know why I see so much less of it nowadays…
Matzo doesn’t make some people constipated, it makes everyone constipated.
I just made a batch of matzah brei for my kids and some sleepover guests. I loaded the table with fruit just for that reason!
Nope. My husband and I were just wondering about all of those constipation jokes, because neither of us has ever experienced it. We speculated that maybe it mostly spares the young and youngish (we are late twenties/early thirties, respectively).
Matzoh? No, thanks. I’ll just munch on a 30-year-old piece of thin cardboard if I want that particular culinary experience.
Try a matzoh bacon cheese burger! heaven!
To give us reason to drink four cups of wine?
Donno about you, but alcohol usually clears that up. :o But then I tried to look it up online and discovered yeast poop. So maybe yeast from fruit is still good enough to induce the GI domino effect.
I did joke in the Seder thread that the OP was recovering from some sort of GI upset and couldn’t respond to us right now.
My wife had her first piece of “real” (Shmurah) Matzoh this year (a gift from an Orthodox friend). She couldn’t believe how delicious it was, and kept coming back for more.
So, maybe you should try the real thing, instead of ersatz matzoh.
I’ve had matzoh in the homes of several Jewish friends. I presume they gave me the good stuff.
So to speak. :: blech ::
Was it round? If not, it’s not the good stuff.
I’ve always had that problem. My theory is that it’s so dry, it sucks up all of the water in your digestive tract.
Hello All. Friendly OP checking my mail…
Original OP was answered by “fine flour” (and water), and the other by “wheat poop” (which I still don’t get).
Is there anything to do with the lack of leavening creating “lack of holes,” that is bread, and it is these “holes” that forestall constipation?
Now, as to the (pleasant) hijack:
Matzoh tastes at first no worse than tofu did, to my mind.
It differs from “old cardboard,” even allowing for hyperbole, in that if it is fresh the matzoh crackles and is moistened in your mouth, not unlike an unsweetened thin cracker or a thin, less-unforgiving rusk. YMMV
As to my mileage, schmurah matzoh actually tastes worse than mass-produced matzoh available at your grocery store. For the uninitiated, schmura matzoh–“watched” matzoh–derives from [Exodus, 12:17] You shall guard the matzot. It has been interpreted that from the seeding to the harvesting of the wheat, from the selection and milling, no water has come into contact with the matzoh until final baking for a max of 18 min; every step that I have just mentioned is watched over by responsible Orthodox Jews trained in the tasks. It comes out round and toasty-looking, and breaks into pieces at random, IMO.
Finally, a note about taste in general. That’s what flour and water taste like. It’s nice when during the week you can make matzoh brei out it–mixed and cooked with egg (depending on taste, either w/ sugar or w/ salt and pepper).
But really, that’s not the point at all. Anyone want to have a taste-off Matzoh vs. the Eucharist? I can see the posters now…
And all I wanted to know was what made me so stuffed up…
I think it’s more the overall change in diet. We rid ourselves of all the grain foods we usually eat and are major sources of fiber, especially in the typical American/Western diet. The Ashkenazi also lose the kitniyot, which includes many other healthy fiber sources. Matzoh and all the horrid processed matzoh meal products that fill many diets this week are low-fiber if not outright fiber free.
If you’re not also increasing your intake of fruits and vegetables this week to compensate for the fiber loss, which many don’t, (of course, some can’t afford it after buying the KfP stuff they’ll need or think they need) it’s going to lead to problems. (Compound this with if you’re not drinking as much because your usual prepared teas and coffees and other drinks aren’t KfP and the KfP sodas are rationed because of cost.) We blame the matzoh, but it’s really all the things we aren’t eating as much as the one thing we are.
See, I always lose weight this time of year. Who needs kfp processed foods? What ever happened to eating an orange for a snack? 
Before, I couldn’t afford it. Now, since know it pretty much tastes like shit anyway, I’d rather just pass.
Water is good for you.
I’m yet again a walking concrete truck, and remembered somebody must have OP’d this. It’s gone full zombie here–not speaking of the transubstantiation side chatter above–but for a side of that side chatter, which needs a quick extension which may be of interest.
Since we’ve mentioned the tastes and types of matzoh “out there,”–and my mention of the egg+[milk]+plus matzoh tastiness reminded me–one can also buy Kosher-for-Passover “egg matzoh.” I always thought that was a pure taste thing–they’re more substantial and thicker in feel and taste–than regular Kosher matzoh. [Side query: is there non-Kosher Matzoh named as such, as opposed to Sardinian music paper, say?]
Either I don’t remember seeing it printed before (and, to repeat, I didn’t care), on a box of egg matzoh was written the now-usual warning–I think legally/secular halachically demanded–that the same machinery had been used to process nuts. So watch out.
Then it says: “this has no bearing on the halachic status of this product. Egg matzoh is permitted to be eaten during Passover only by the young, elderly, or infirm. Please consult a Rabbi if you are in doubt as to these issues.”
So, again, watch out.
FTR
Seriously? I buy three sheets of shmurah matzoh for the actual Passover service, and regular stuff for everything else. My entire family whines and bitches that I make them eat a tiny sample of shmurah matzoh. They are happy to consume Aviv.
I think it can lead to constipation because it is so dry, and also devoid of fiber.
Apparently, they can’t. Thus the problem.
Me too.