Four year old seeing God and setting traps for him

I just love this part—it even makes logical sense. “What? He’s an intangible, magical spirit, and he lives in the afterlife. How is that not a ghost?” :smiley:

Yeah, I got a kick out of my very religious daughter saying God is dead.

I think it’s kinda neat that my son wanted to kill God, Jesus, and Moses (or Mose). He knows about Moses primarily from “Prince of Egypt”, and I think it’s neat he managed to get Christianity’s two greatest prophets, especially since he had been thinking about rainbows from hearing about Noah in Sunday School.

I bet Nietzsche did stuff like that as a child.:slight_smile:

Use what you want, as far as I know the only thing that’s ever proven effective has been nails.

Sounds like some special hand loading to me.

so, nails in a 3" Magnum shotgun shell, got it :wink:

God, don’t! It’s a trap!

If he manages to capture God…don’t kill Him! Instead, take him to The View or The Daily Show so God can get on TV and tell Congress to knock off that partisan shit and pass the stupid bailout legislation. Oh, and fix my toilet already!

Only for 42 hours. (72 if you’re an Armstrongist.)
KGS, you assume He favors the bailout.

:dubious: Does your wife happen to be a Freudian psychoanalyst?

Sounds like pretty normal behavior to me, although quite elaborate in its presentation! Kids at this age usually tell elaborate stories for attention, so I suspect that his violent stories of revenge against religious figures are eliciting some shocked and dismayed reactions from the adults around him. If you really want him to stop, I suggest listening to his stories with an air of polite interest. “Oh, really? Wow, you don’t say. That’s neat.” Etcetera. Frankly, though, he sounds like a hoot and I wouldn’t worry unless his stories are getting him into trouble at school.

So you have to camp over the corpse with a nail gun. Dammit!

Nails just work once. After that He has super-powers & you’re screwed.

It doesn’t have to be doubt in the existence of God, though. It could also be confusion over what God does for people.

When I was very young, I recall not understanding the meaning behind adults telling me “Ask and you shall receive” and a story about birds bringing food to someone who asked for God to provide for him that was meant to illustrate the principal. Being in first grade, I took those things quite literally, and was very disappointed when the toy I asked for didn’t magically appear when I opened my eyes after asking for it. I don’t remember if I talked to my parents about it or not, but either way I soon grasped that God is not a geni, and asking for things you want isn’t the same thing as asking for your needs to be fulfilled.

Yeah, really the nails just give you a three day head start to run like hell.

I wouldn’t start worrying until he starts talking about putting lasers on the sharks heads.

When I was 4 years old I went up to the local Primary School (ie Elementary School) found my brother and sister’s classrooms and convinced their teachers to let my sibs go home because “mother needed them”. I made the whole thing up so I could get using our new computer. My mother wouldn’t let me put it on when the older kids weren’t home. The funny thing is the school let my sibs off no bother, no call to social services or the cops etc. More innocent times (1986).

Someone here once had one of my favorite sigs ever. I’m paraphrasing, but it was something like: “All my life, I prayed to God to give me a bicycle. Then I realized it doesn’t work like that, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.” :smiley:

Bag limit of one. After that your bag magically refills itself when you’ve had a meal.

My son was like this too. Fantastical stories with religious themes, anger at god. He worked it out. I’d like to say I helped, but mostly it was just him having to come up with a mental compromise on his own with god and he understood it. Yes, at the tender age of 5 he had to make peace with god. Hmmm. It’s a pretty constant topic in our house. Which is weird, because I have been raising them atheist - but I also let him go to church with other kids and choose for himself where he felt most comfortable. I guess some of his anger at god came from realizing he believed different things than mommy.

I think there was a Bulwer-Lytton entry that said something like: My day was going very well right up to the point where I accidently let Jesus into my heart.