[cue ominous TV announcer voice]
On 3/21, FOX will break all the rules — AGAIN!
That’s right, o restless teeming one, the show you have yearned for all these years, when programming was as unto Thomas Stearns’ vision of a sun-drenched skeletal desert, will make its triumphal comeback! Yes, A Current Affair returns! Weeknights at 11:00!
[/oTav]
Wait, isn’t that the time when my local Fox affiliate shows Simpsons reruns? You are recalling the type of programming that actually makes me physically ill thinking about in order to decrease the Simpsons reruns from three times to just twice daily? No, Ludovic, put down that knife! Please, Ludovic, calm down, help, someone! AAAAAAAEEEEEE! Dramatazation. May not have happened
Current Affairs? isn’t that the show with the bimbo with the blow-job lips? I recall when she worked on Chicago NBC news and looked even more like a hooker.
I’m sure some right-leaning wingnut will be along any moment to preach the gospel of how this is merely the latest salvo by the “fair and balanced” Fox News against every other non-Fox left-leaning media outlet on the planet.
Fuck, man, I’m hoping they just show me some cleavage! They used to do tit-related expose’s all the time (well, my little horny 13-year old self with no Internet access at the time thought so).
And fuck the Simpsons. They’ve pissed on that corpse so much that the acidic content in the urine dissolved it away. They ARE reruns, but they just make the memories even more painful…
“Fox – Come for The Simpsons, Arrested Development, and 24 – Stay for the right wing reactionary sensationalism!”
The latest blather from their local “news” show was “The FDA says it’s OK for food manufacturers to put insect parts and rodent hairs into your food!” Alarmist fucknuts.
Oh, I thought this thread was going to be about their latest “special” - “CELEBRITIES WITHOUT MAKEUP!!” For THIS, Arrested Development is on its way out. Bastards.
And let’s not forget their recent half-hour “special” about how they made the Robots movie. If you’re going to do a half-hour ad, fine - just say it’s an ad. Do that little disclaimer like at the beginning of infomercials.
And don’t get me started on how the local Fox news somehow manages to come up with a “news” story every single fucking night about some heretofore unexamined bit of “behind the scenes” trivia from American Fucking Idol. The news!
If you can’t figure out how to spin that into a steady stream of stories about anti-Hollywood elitism and pro-Christian fundamentalist values, you’re not trying hard enough.
Holy unguided fury that art thou noxious fumes emanating from the void between Eric Chilton’s arm sockets, I would like nothing more than to pillage to the ground WFMY News 2’s Double Damn Doppler and all the other vile glurgey shitfest that is our local media outlets. They are whores for what they did recently when a friend of mine and another girl died tragically in a car accident, something that really makes one wonder how much crap they make up all the time.
First, they reported unsubstaniated claims that they were all drinking, every last one of them (four were involved, two survived). Well, they weren’t, and were the farthest kids to do such a thing. Trust me, many kids know the bottle, but these kids weren’t the ones. Anyway, they are whores because they kept reporting it even though many people kept telling them they were wrong, including the families and police, until they finally just stopped.
Second, they interviewed what seemed to be people who shouldn’t of been up at that hour or even driving a car since it was around 2 pm. They had obviously no idea where they were, that WWII was over, or that they weren’t in a cabbage patch back in Bakersvile. These old fuckers kept saying, without any proof, that the ol’ knicker tits were speed racing, drag racing, and pixie racing. This was, as it turns out, completely contrary to police reports. Didn’t stop the Fox 8 Feltchers from reporting it endlessly, despite many attempts to tell them the truth otherwise.
They took a turn too fast, over-corrected, and slammed into a brick wall. Nothing more, nothing less. Damn shame that was it, since it made such a better story slandering the dead.
