Free Rant

The BBQ Pit
21

I don’t know if this has been covered, but I would like to kick my new coworker in the neck.

Up until now, he’s been a kind, fair, helpful guy, and kicks ass at his job.

However, I have just come from a meeting that he called to discuss plans in our health insurance coverage.

Somehow the conversation degenerated into talk of cell phones and plans, and he mentioned that his wife has a cell phone that stays in her car, in case she gets stranded on her way to or from her teaching job (which is pretty far away from here, and near an Indian reservation).

I was with him when he said that he had given her the phone because he wanted to be able to go get her or send AAA if she had car trouble, I mean who wouldn’t feel that way about his/her spouse?

Then he said:

“…because being stranded out there with those Indians… she could get raped or who knows what…”

That’s when I walked out of the room.

22

When I reach geezerdom I’ll be standing in line for my AARP discount. But…GOL’ DURN AND DAGNABBIT I ain’t there yet. Close but still ain’t there, I tell ya!

I still say dammit AARP leave me alone until July 29, 2004. Then, we’ll talk. :smiley:

23

I hate that I’m so shy on the phone that I can’t call up apartment buildings and inquire about vacancies, even though I have less than two months to find a new apartment, in this heavily-populated high-cost-of-living area, no less. I suck.

I hate that I live with someone who is so “emotionally sensitive” that she can’t abide disagreement of any kind, even in the course of a discussion about abstract concepts. Worse, she turns it on me. “Why are you so upset?” Uh, I’m not upset. I’m just expressing a contrary opinion. My voice is not raised, my pulse is slow, I feel pretty cheerful, actually. “Why are you so defensive?” Gosh, I didn’t think I was being defensive. I thought I was pointing out that I’m not upset and supplying evidence. And I’m not upset because we’re not discussing anything important. “Why are you taking this so personally? You shouldn’t get so upset! I mean, I’m fine over here.” Um, what? OK, now I’m upset. WTF is wrong with you that you act like this whenever I disagree? I have a different opinion from yours. In fact, I think you’re wrong. Flat-out totally misguided. I’m trying to present the other side to you to give you a better perspective. I am not angry. Got that? I am not angry.

Well, okay, now I’m angry. Idiot.

24

Damn this filled up fast. I clicked to submit, and WHAMMO! 21 posts. Wow.

Another thing I hate: When people state the blindingly obvious. “We need to make more money.” Gee, you think so? What a revolutionary concept. “He sure knows a lot.” He started the damn company, and if you were not related to him, your ass would be mulched in the real world, buddy. “Why didn’t you tell him where I went?” I didn’t, you twit, because YOU didn’t tell ME where you went. Morons, all of them.

25

I hate that I can’t stop my brother smoking in the bathroom. When I called him on it and asked him to stopped he pointed out that he opens the window and turns on the fan so you can hardly smell it. I pointed out that we now have a sink rimmed in black soot and just cause the 4 pack a day since he was 12 asshole can’t smell it doesn’t mean the smell isn’t there.

At least he goes back to jail next month (I hope)…

26

(This is not meant to inspire a political rant.)
If the goddamn Republican Party doesn’t quit sending me their fucking “Official Presidential Photo” every fucking week, I am going to start sending them pictures of syphilitic crackwhores. Detailed, intimate pictures.

How many fucking times do I have to call/write them to get them to FUCKING STOP!? I’ve tried writing, calling, and returning these “gifts of appreciation” for my “support”. I’VE NEVER FUCKING VOTED REPUBLICAN! SEND YOUR PROPAGANDA TO SOMEONE WHO GIVES A SHIT!

It’s not even that it’s the Republican Party. I just don’t feel their money is well spent cutting down trees for something I don’t care to receive. Use your money constructively, dammit!

27

I punched a fucking wasps nest the other day! I was going full-tilt doing projects around the house when I went to measure an ivy-covered window for new glass. I pushed the end of a tape measure into the ivy and my index finger caught fire!

28

Two company caferteria mini-rants:

The pizza is cut into 8 identical pieces. Do Not use the serving spatula to de-cheese the other slices just so you can accelerate youw own personal artery clogging program.

Do not turn getting a bowl of soup into an all-day affair. The ladle is not to be used to scientfically extract as much solid matter as possible while taking little to no broth. Leave some noodles for the rest of us.

29

To Books-a-million:

Last Friday I can in to inquire about purchasing 2 particular children’s books. You told me that you didn’t have them in stock but if I ordered them you would have them delivered on Wednesday, “No problem at all”. Fine - it’s 2 days sooner than B&N said they could do it & probably quicker than Amazon.com who need 2-3 days to even get it sent out, then you hope & pray FedEx and/or UPS delivers in a timely manner. So, I order said books from BAM. I ordered these 2 particular books because they are about Mermaids, my new Little Sister in the Big Brother Big Sister program adores Mermaids & I was hoping to read these books to her at our first meeting. So, I wait patiently until yesterday. BAM never calls to say my books are in. I call them. Oops, Sorry! Your books didn’t make it this shipment, but they’ll be in next week’s shipment… which is NEXT Wednesday. They only get shipments once a week! Thanks - now I will have to delay our meeting by a week - this was the perfect ice breaker for a 6 year old Girl who loves Mermaids.

BAM: I will NEVER buy ANYTHING from you again. From now on, B&N or Amazon shall get all of my business. FUCK YOU VERY MUCH.

:mad:

I feel better now - thanks for the OP! :

30

came in must preview :slight_smile:

31

To a particular person who I talk to frequently on ICQ:

There are times that I don’t feel like talking, all right? Do not message me as soon as you see me sign on, as you did this morning. When I want to talk to you, I will. Believe me, sometimes I am busy! That, or I don’t want to talk to you. Even if ICQ logs me in as online, and I change it to invisible, don’t start bugging me, please. If I wish to talk to you (or anyone else), I will.

And what do you mean, I take a long time to respond to simple questions? I don’t think I do! Just because there was a bit of a delay caused by my doing other things on the computer, eating, etc. does not mean that I’m deliberately ignoring you, or that I didn’t want to talk. (maybe I didn’t, but that’s another story) Honestly, sometimes you make me want to just disconnect from the network entirely, as I did not 15 minutes ago. (and give you a fake excuse that involved taking my brother’s advice and going for a walk, which I think I’ll do anyways)

Sometimes I don’t feel like I’m in a great mood, either. I’m perfectly aware that you’re cheerful 90% of the time, and that’s good for you. But there are some of us in the world who don’t maintain a consistently cheerful outlook on things. Not that we don’t want to, or because we can’t, but things affect everyone differently. Just stop expecting me to be in a freaking GREAT MOOD when I talk to you, okay? I don’t want to feel obliged to be in a certain mood… I get that enough from certain people in my life.

“Well, you said you were okay, so I was wondering what was stopping you from feeling great,” is what you told me last night. Thanks ever so much for your concern ( :rolleyes: ), but did I tell you the same thing when you said not two minutes before that you were “only” feeling okay? No, I did not. It may be true that my moods are dampened a bit by whatever I may be feeling, but I wasn’t feeling sufficiently happy enough to say I was in a great mood!

There are times when I can only feel okay… or at least, that’s as much as I can commit to feeling. Actually, nobody else that I know questions my feelings when I tell them that I’m feeling okay, or even not so okay! They might ask why I’m feeling that way, but never will they ask me to elevate my mood, more or less. (like “Why aren’t you feeling great?”)

Frankly, it reminds me of a question my father asks me from time to time (and used to do much more often a few years ago): “How fine is fine?” Granted, he was mostly talking about my schoolwork, but then extended it into the personal when he applied that question to how I was feeling that day. I hated that question then, and I still do now! (as well as anything that’s even vaguely reminiscent of the question) Not because it came from my father, although that might have something to do with it. It’s just that I feel that the question is so inane and stupid that it doesn’t really deserve an answer!

And for goodness sakes, don’t take my jokes so seriously! I know you have a sense of humor, so please apply it to my jokes. When you ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, and I tell you that I’m transforming, obviously I’m joking! How could I possibly be serious? :rolleyes: :mad:

That is all for now. Thanks for letting me rant in your thread, **[Sam/b]. I do feel better now; it was refreshing!

F_X

32

Must preview more diligently… of course I meant to bold Sam’s name at the end there.

Sam

There! Much better!

33

You know, I’m starting to believe that some men are born with a hearing defect that makes them unable to hear the higher pitch of womens’ voices. It makes me want to repeat myself in a very deep voice. Or go to my friendly neighborhood sex shop, buy a dildo, and stash it in my purse, so the next time my boss asks me a question and ignores the answer, I can pull it off, slam it onto his desk, and say, “There! Now I have a dick- will you listen to me now?”

34

To some of my otherwise very nice friends on AIM:

Here is how it works. You decide you have to log off/go AFK, maybe for an all day trip to the mall, maybe just to walk from school to home, perhaps simply to get some water or go to the bathroom. It is enough to say “Well, I have to pee/eat/go to Tibet now, talk to you later.” I will then say “Goodbye, have fun,” or something equivalent. Our conversations, for no reason, need to go like this:
you: Okay, I’m going home now, talk to you later
me: Okay, later
you: Yeah, talk to you later, I’ll probably get home by like 10:00
me: Okay, talk to you then! Bye!
you: Yep, see you later, and good luck on your exam tomorrow in case I’m not online before you go to bed
me: Thank you, bye!
you: Have fun watching your DVD, bye!
me: I will, bye!
you: Bye!
me: silent at this point, hoping you are finally leaving
you, 15 minutes later: bye!!!
AHHHHHHH!

35

FUCK YOU DOMINO’S :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

I hate you motherfucking goat felching bastards. I hate everything about you. I hate the cardboard with mediocre cheese and oreganoed ketchup that you call a pizza. I hate those pathetic excuses for a bird that you have the nerve to dare call wings .

Most of all, I hate those fucking commercials that you run. Especially the one that has the little doorbell sound. It sounds like my doorbell which means that I am left wondering. So fuck you. sideways. with a lamp. that is turned on. No, that you would be wrong, because you might enjoy it, you sick fuck.

Thank you Sam, I feel much better already. :slight_smile:

36

Hey, Domino’s paid for my law school scholarship. Seriously.

My rant goes to the State of Pennsylvania for not having a clearly defined child abandonment statute. It USED to have one, but it was repealed and if there’s a replacement, I can’t find it. I found some vague laws under the Adoption statutes, but nothing dealing with direct biological offspring.

What, so I can legally dump my kids in downtown Philadelphia? Morons. Whomever repealed the original should be cursed to get groin beetles for the rest of his days.

37

Groin beetles … that’s a pungent image.

38

My rant is pretty mild, but it’s pesky to me. I have a very quiet voice naturally; I mean VERY quiet. I can talk louder, but it is really an effort for me, because my voice is naturally QUIET. This is a ongoing source of irritation for me because of people who don’t make an effort to listen to what I’m saying, and ask me to repeat stuff that I know they could have heard if they were paying attention. But no, it’s easier to just ask me to repeat; do they not understand that I repeat myself ALL THE TIME, EVERY FREAKIN’ DAY??? I don’t want to repeat myself when I don’t have to if they would pay attention.

Oh, and this goes for people who don’t acknowledge what I’ve said to them too, even after I’ve asked them very politely to acknowledge me because I know I have a quiet voice and am very often not heard. All I ask for is just a general grunt - is that too much to ask for?

39

Not to hijack too badly, featherlou, but some people really don’t hear that well. I have an apparent hearing loss in the middle range where human speech is, and, while I hear the voice of someone talking to me, I all too frequently don’t understand the words. It’s embarrassing to have to ask people to repeat themselves, but I haven’t had medical insurance for more than ten years and I can’t afford to get a hearing aid.

I’m sure some of the people who are bugging you really aren’t listening, and I don’t blame you for being irritated. But, just perhaps, some might really have a problem hearing you, especially if your voice is soft. We’re not *all]/i] inconsiderate jerks.

Hope this helps.

40

Just don’t ask someone to wear a puffy shirt on live TV. :wink:

Sheri