To me this is kind of funny, but its really serious in a way. Anyone who has ever worked or lived on Fort Bragg probably knows where the Yadkin gate is. I live near the gate, closer actually than I like to let many know. Its approximately 4 miles from the gate to where I work. Even when the gate is packed up with people entering the post I can get to work in around 8 to ten minutes. With light traffic I can get there in little more than five. As a matter of fact I had my squad run from our company area to the gate and back for PT a few days ago and at a leisurely pace we did it in around 30 minutes.
Thursday we get these flyers announcing that theres a free giveaway of soap at the small minimall/px further down the road on friday. Apparently they’re giving away a crate of soap per id card holder. Dove, Ivory, a few other brands. You can’t pick the brand, but you get a shitload of soap for free. this was gonna hapen friday morning, first come first served.
Friday after PT a few of my guys asked if it was ok if they went to get some free soap and were a little late fior work call. Work call was supposedly at 0830, but there were things going on within the company that made me ask the acting platoon leader if work call was at 0830 or 0900. He said he heard 0900, so we all broke out to go home and change and a few were going to get some free soap. Hey, I can understand that…all of my lower enlisted guys are married with kids so every cent counts. Besides who doesn’t like free stuff? I wasn’t planning on going because I knew it would be a bit of a line and if the guys were going to be a little late, I should be on time at least unless our (new) 1st Sergeant or someone wants to know where the troops are.
I get a call around 0800…something had changed and they wanted a formation at 0830 after all. I contact my guys and let them know, telling the lower guys if they were already on the way or in line for soap stay there since I knew where they were. (That way I can report “All accounted for” if they ain’t present in formation.)
I hit the Yadkin gate at 0815. It took me ***TWO FUCKIN’ HOURS ***to get to the company. the traffic of people going to get free soap was unbelievable! TWO hours to go four miles! Around 0820 the platoon leader called me on my cell to tell me that they were backed up at another gate! The only person in my squad to make it to the company on time was my asst. squad leader who rides a moped, so he skirted through traffic.
AAFES failed to realize that everyon e with an ID card showed up to get soap. Family members, Army civilians, retirees, etc. There’s a shitload of people on Bragg already, and it looked like some bussed in or something because in an hour I had moved only a mile or so in traffic. I was slightly amused but fristrated. I called one of my team leaders and asked him "Are they giving away blowjobs or something? where’d all of these people come from? Is it crack soap?!".
TWO freakin’ hours! Free soap effectively shut down operations for the morning for several units. I can get to my place of duty pretty fast…people that work further in post were screwed. I know for a fact that there were at least 2 accidents too blocking even more traffic! I didn’t get to the shop until 1030. I told the platoon sergeant that if I had known about the traffic before hitting the gate I would have stayed home and just called and said “Yeah, I’m on the way…really bad traffic…be there when I get there.” and had another cup of joe and watched cnn. I would have just come in after lunch and gotten away with it. She had to laugh and say she considered the same thing.
Geez…is free soap that important to folks? I don’t make a lot of money, but I don’t need free soap that bad! I would love to see if the local papers have an article about it. *“Airborne Operations curtailed due to free soap to soldiers giveaway!”. *
In the army’s defense, the mistake was not theirs totally, but AAFES (AAFES runs the PX’s and stores). There are a lot of places on post they could have had the soap giveaway without tying up traffic. They called it off around ten one of my privates told me, just when he got there because the enormous throng of people made it impossible, but said they’d be giving away free soap today (saturday morning) starting at 0500. Ha! Its a payday weekend…before the superbowl! I ain’t goin’ near the post today. The PX will be a nightmare!