An old story, but I was reading an older thread here yesterday that brought it to mind. It was a Black Friday a few years ago, and I had the stupid idea to high-tail it to Wal-Mart early in the morning and see if I could get any good deals. I took my folks along for the ride.
We go through the store and get a few items, noting how remarkably cordial everyone was to each other. When it comes time to cash out, we head to the front of the store and get into line. As the line moved forward, we eventually made it to the enclosed part of the check-out aisle (the impulse section), only to have our olfactory senses assaulted by noxious fumes that smelled like they came straight from the asshole of the hound of Hades. I looked at my folks and whispered, “did you fart?” Both of them shook their heads and said, “did you?!”
That fetid funk did not dissipate the whole time we were in line. We joked that someone must have shit himself. And then, we got to the front of the line, and there it was, the source of our misery, and I shit you not :D, someone had pooped on the floor in the front of Wal-Mart. I figured there were two possibilities: a person going commando in a skirt-like garment didn’t make it to the bathroom, or it was done deliberately by an irate customer. It appeared too big to have been left by a child (plus, there were none of the usual signs of children having an accident, such as crying), and did not appear to have been squished by anything on its way out (that’s why I figure it was a commando skirt-wearer).
Of course, I like toilet humor as much as an average 10 year old boy, so I could hardly keep myself from laughing, especially at the folks who walked by it. The looks on their faces were priceless. There was one teenage girl, texting on her phone, who almost stepped on it, but she managed to avert that catastrophe at the last second. Then she turned her head around and stared at it the whole time as she walked away. Was she afraid it would follow her?
The poor cashier had the most perfect, “not in my job description” look on her face the whole time, until someone finally came up in bio-hazard gear to clean it up.
So, how many of you have had such shitty experiences when Christmas shopping?