French solution to Afghanistan!

France to deploy intellectuals in Afghanistan

The war in Afghanistan has hotted up following the Allies’ decision to airdrop a platoon of crack French existentialist philosophers into the country to destroy the morale of Taleban zealots by proving the non-existence of God. The feared Jean-Paul Sartre brigade, or ‘Black Berets’ will be parachuted into the combat zones to spread doubt, despondency and existential angst among the enemy.

Their first action will be to establish a number of pavement cafes at strategic points near the front lines. They will drink coffee and talk animatedly about the absurd nature of life and man’s lonely isolation in the universe. They will be accompanied by a number of heart-breakingly beautiful girlfriends who will further spread dismay by sticking their tongues in the philosophers’ ears every five minutes and looking remote and unattainable to everyone else.

Their leader, Colonel Marc-Ange Belmondo, spoke yesterday of his confidence in the success of their mission. Sorbonne graduate Belmondo, an intense, unshaven young man in a black pullover, said “The Taleban are caught in a logical fallacy of the most ridiculous kind. There is no God and I can prove it. Take your tongue out of my ear, Juliet, I am talking.”

Belmondo plans to deliver a thesis on man’s nauseating freedom of action with reference to the works of Foucault and Hitchcock. However, humanitarian agencies have been quick to condemn the operation, suggesting the effects of passive smoking from the Frenchmen’s Gitanes could have a terrible toll on civilians.

Uhh, what?

How in the hell are you going to prove the Taliban wrong, if they’re all toast?

Tripler
Just a little obstacle for the French to overcome.

It would be nice for you to attribute that entertaining bit of prose to the website that originally posted it, rather than leave us all to wonder at the identity of the author.

All I know is that it’s been around for at least 2 weeks.