Is it just me, or does FriendofGod sound like William Shatner reading a Chick Tract?
“But GOD will SAVE you if you just LET Him! JESUS is the WAY and the TRUTH and the LIGHT! You Klingon BASTARDS!”
I’ll post some examples later.
What’s even funnier is that he didn’t know who William Shatner was. Plus, while actually reading some of those tracts, they bold all the important words, which also makes me think that they also read like Shatner. “My God, Bones - he’s dead!”
Esprix
LOL! “William Shatner reading a Chick tract…” Gotta go write that down somewhere…
Just sitting here smiling to myself. “What’s so funny?” “Never mind, you wouldn’t get it.”
P.S. I’m not surprised to hear that a conservative Christian wouldn’t know who William Shatner was. They frequently have a kind of tunnel vision, in which they view only wholesome family entertainment, which Star Trek is not (all those aliens! and women with boobs!)
True story: many years ago I had the following conversation with a Very Conservative Christian. Attempting to establish a rapport, in the opening minutes of our acquaintance, I steered the conversation to books. “What do you like to read?” She named a number of mainstream Christian authors. When it was my turn, I enthused about murder mysteries, science fiction, and actually, I confessed cheerfully, “I’ll read just about anything!”
There was a pause, and she said thoughtfully, “You know, I’ve never understood why anyone would want to read something that wasn’t true.”
“Not true?” I asked blankly.
“Fiction,” she explained helpfully.
As you might guess, our friendship didn’t exactly jell, and about 10 years later I heard that she had had to be admitted to a mental institution for various “personal” problems. I sometimes wonder whether fiction might have saved her. If you can use your imagination to inhabit other realities, might that not make it easier to bear the unpleasant reality you’re currently inhabiting?
P.P.S. I also had the interesting experience of once inviting another Conservative Christian to go with me to a Marx Brothers movie festival, and she had no idea who the Marx Brothers were. No kidding.
Duck,
I wish I could say I’m surprised, but I can’t. I think many of them are confused and frightened by the big bad world and are looking for a simple solution. The thought of a grey area gives them the heebee jeebees.
Esprix…
That was TOOOOO funny.
As for the Conservative Christians as a whole, I remember a prof of mine traumatising a student in a Religious Studies Dept. class on the writings of Paul. The prof asked me to read a bible passage and asked, “What version are you reading from?”
Said bible thumper, a female, flipped out. There was only ONE version. The only one WRITTEN by Jesus!! The King James! In English!
She was in utter shock when she found out about the little weeeeeee detail about the work being originally in Greek… and not written by JC… and finding out JC was not a Christian… Oh boy, was that ever traumatic. We never could, in fact, convince her JC was NOT Christian.
“A jew?” she said… “That can’t be! You are all going to burn in hell!”
What a putz. She dropped out of school. Last I heard, she was bible thumping in the southern states, somewhere.
sigh I miss Wally 
Elenfair
(Me too…and btw, that’s a really nice memorial banner they put up.)
About FoG: the username is mostly what gets me—talk about namedropping! And is there anything more uncivil than telling people what God has explained to you they are feeling? I think everyone should just tell FoG to ask God what they’re thinking and post their responses for them. He can continue the “debates” as an exercise in solipsism ever more divorced from actual reality, which will probably culminate in his persuading all the imaginary posters to accept Jesus as their savior and returning in triumph to the LBMB to give thanks. Sheeeeesh…religious delusions are the worst kind. But at least we need not waste any more time on him.
Kimstu
test post
Elenfair, that’s too funny. These people scare me.
And Kimstu, you caught that, too? Amazing how God revealed to him my feelings when I’d just revealed the the previous day. Truly, a blessed miracle - praise the Lord! :rolleyes:
Esprix
Really, it’s too easy to pick on the Jeezers, especially one as devoutly dim as FoG. It’s sad that they think some texts written by a tribe of Middle Eastern shepherds 4000 years ago have any relevance to life today. The really sad thing is how ignorant the fundies are of the rich tradition of Christian apologetics. Instead of reading John Bunyan, William Law, St. Augustine, or Dietrich Bonhoeffer, they read the semi-literate, simple-minded drivel of James Dobson
and Chuck Swindoll. To quote Jed Clampett, “Pitiful. Plumb pitiful.”
Kimstu
This seems like a thread that should be started in MPSIMS. Maybe call it “Let FriendofGod ask God what you’re thinking” and model it after Personalized flames! By yer pal, Satan! or Hey EVERYBODY! Naughty love letters from Cheffie.
The sad part is, the religious debates (on this thread and in general) * can * be fascinating and educational even to raving atheists like myself. Whenever there’s a religious question or debate and I see cmkeller, sdimbert, or ckdexthavn have posted, I make a beeline because I know that there is going to be an erudite, well-reasoned, and respectful (well, respectful unless they’re talking about Jews for Jesus 
) post explaining the Orthodox jewish perspective.
That’s what I don’t get about these fuckin’ fundies. I’m sure they have some solid points to make, otherwise they wouldn’t get millions to believe. Why can’t they EXPLAIN them to anybody. Instead of actual thought and compelling debate, they make up crap about JC, the millions of biblical prophesies that have “come true”.
More important, they don’t respect other points of view. They think disagreement means you’re goin ta hell.
Fuck em.
My first Pit post. Woo Hoo!!
V.
HUH?
Which side of this debate is FoG on? http://www.cnn.com/2000/STYLE/arts/06/23/religion.in.the.news.ap/index.html
Any guesses?
Angkins:
New here, huh? Threads around here have their position on the page determined by the date of the last post, most recent first. Therefore, a thread nobody posts to bombs down the page as other threads rack up posts. Posting to a thread puts it on top, at least for a while. Esprix just wanted to make sure his thread had a chance in the limelight before it met doom at page five.
SuaSponte:
You’ve hit on the reason I post regarding obscure matters of theology. Myths give a great accounting of how our ancestors saw the world. Besdies, the ‘absolute’ beliefs of the Mohammaden (Judaism/Christianity/Islam) faiths give rise to interesting logical paradoxes.
rest of y’all:
Funny as all hell! It’s sad how ‘devoutly dim’ some people can be. The mind is the greatest tool we possess. To not use it is the only crime that counts. BTW, If it wasn’t for the SDMB, I’d be blissfully unaware of Jack Chick. Thanks. It’s good to know your adversaries.
Derleth
Ah, I hadn’t seen what you’ve seen Derleth, so I have not understood this “Chick tract” reference, though I have seen it a couple times. I was imagining Shatner saying something like “Ladies, we HAVE … to STICK … toGETHER”.
BigJoe, you spelled “heebie jeebies” wrong.
Anyway, FoG just scares me. He reminds me of Ned Flanders, but with a bit of Jack Nicholson. You know, the SCARY Jack.
Stop generalizing! Rggh. Listen: there are illiterate morons in EVERY large group of people. Why always single out fundamentalists?! I’m SO DAMN SICK OF IT! The reason you rarely meet intelligent, rational fundamentalists is because when intelligent, rational fundamentalists are having a conversation with you, you don’t know their religious affiliation. I don’t try to convert people. I rarely even mention religion unless it’s relevant, so you’d never know. You’re taking the most vocal, obnoxious sector as representatives. An example:
You know those anti-animal testing people who break into labs and destroy millions of dollars worth of equipment, send razors to scientists, and threaten their families? Do you think that all animal rights advocates act like this?
They, they, they. Who the hell qualified YOU to speak for the entire fundamentalist community? The reason I don’t want to get into any religious debates with anyone is because, as a fundamentalist, I’m always shifted into the same category as the religious wackos–the abortion clinic-bombers, the gay-bashers, the Chick tract-pushers, the anti-evolutionists, the conservative right, etc. I’m none of the above, and it’s tiresome to always have to explain it. When I do attempt to debate religion on the net, I always get flamed with stuff like:
“You idiot jesus is dead!!!”
or
“Science disproves the entire bible.”
or
“You fundamentalists are morons! One of your kind gave me a Chick tract yesterday, and it made me angry! Die, die, die!”
or
“AMEN! We’ll give these godless pagans a taste of hellfire!”
Ick.
If you’re constantly associated with the nutjobs, kiva, why do you make a point of identifying yourself as a fundamentalist?
I’m not trying to be a smartass here, I’m genuinely curious. I mean, if you know people will react negatively to that appellation (and you DO know they will), why not avoid labelling yourself at all?
The folks in this thread don’t, IMO, seem to be bashing Christians or Christianity. They’re bashing the close-minded and the willfully ignorant (Jesus was a Jew? Scandalous!). A substantial proportion of arch-conservative fundamentalist Christians are both. So as near as I can tell, the frustration is against those who fit that description.
Please note that Sua Sponte said “these fuckin’ fundies.” As in the specific ones he’s talking about. He didn’t say “all” fuckin’ fundies.
But ya know, just how many “fundies” have you seen wander over here and listen to other people politely, respect their positions, accept that their faith is their own, and don’t sling mud. Precious fucking few, my dear. Buddha in a bungalow, the very topic of this thread, Friend of God has said that homosexuals cannot be Christian. Now, he’s welcome to that belief, but you don’t shit on a guest’s rug.
So some people generalize some of the time. We take shortcuts–it’s a fact of life. I guaran-fuckin-tee you do it too. It sucks sometimes, but it happens. Perhaps all the moderate Christians who genuine like and respect other people should take back the term “fundamentalist” from those who would use it to describe the religiously obscurantist.
Or maybe not.
Esprix:
Same girl, same class - debate about women in the days of JC n’ his buddies: “God created woman to serve man. I tell my daughter that every day. She’s a good, respectful girl who fears God like we all should. Damn all the evil ones who don’t fear Him - you’ll all burn in hell. He said so Himself in his bible.”
Ask I, oh ever so innocent (remember, this is a fourth year seminar class, with about 9 students, sitting around a conference table): “HE wrote the bible?”
She replies, : “Well, through his son. Jesus wrote the bible.”
I grin,: “In english?”
She nods: “In english.”
I plop a greek version of the NT in front of her (we had to translate it for Greek class): “What about this?”
She pushes it back to me: “The evil workers of Satan put this on the earth to lure you away from the Truth. You should know that.”
I say,: “Oooooooh.”
Meanwhile, the prof is dying laughing in his chair. She said we were all going to go to hell and stormed out.
I’ve never forgotten this girl. Thank GaWd most people aren’t like this. Sad thing is, she has already procreated.
I still miss Wally.
Elenfair
Because that’s what I’ve always been. It’s what my parents and grandparents are. The term “fundamentalist” didn’t start with the wackos. It was just the word that was misunderstood, and picked up by people who used it to classify all the offensive Christians.
It looked more like complete condemnation of every fundamentalist.
Well, I’m listening. But on the whole, you have to admit that this isn’t the friendliest place on earth towards Christians. So most of 'em avoid this board, but the wackos feel that it’s their duty to decend to the pits of dispair to preach at the lost. So that’s why we’ve got such a high concentration of scary Christians here.
Well, yeah, I generalize all the time. But when people generalize about ME, I get angry about it. Hell, that’s what the Pit’s for, right?
Thanks for a diplomatic post, though, Andros.