Fundamentalists and their Words of Wisdom

The BBQ Pit
1

Why do fundamentalists feel the need to quote their holy books at me? Will quoting me chapter and verse somehow turn me around to their way of thinking? “But the Bible says you must stand on your head and eat Spam or you’ll go to H-E-double-hockeysticks!” (Same goes for the Koran or the Torah or whatever weapon of choice you’re using against me, although here in the U.S. it is overwhelmingly the Bible, so I’ll use that as my example here.) Why do I care when I don’t believe what you believe?

Listen up, buckethead, and I’ll spell it out real clear. I’m not Christian. Not being Christian means I hold no more or less validity to your holy book than any other. Fact of the matter is I don’t put much spiritual stock in any of them. The reason I give them credit is for their historical value, and sometimes the worthy life lessons they teach that don’t involve God, heaven or angels. So want to tell me “Time heals all wounds?” Maybe “Love thy neighbor?” That’s fine - those are fairly universal maxims that could relate to whatever it is we’re talking about. But espouse “God said to do this,” or “you’re wrong because the Bible says here…” and I’ll knock your teeth out. (Well, not really, but I’ll feel like doing it.)

So, since your book holds no spiritual sway over me, using it as some sort of authoritative guide to life for me is patently ridiculous. Do you think that because Leviticus says me and my boyfriend (would that I had one!) are sinning is going to somehow miraculously change my mind? How, exactly, do you think this is going to happen? Is it the “say it enough times and it’ll become the truth” mentality? Or are you just that blindly stupid as to think telling me to do something because some hundreds-year old book tells me to will make a difference?

Think of it this way - next time you go out drinking with your buddies, how ridiculous would it sound to you for me to say, “No, you have to Watermelon Crawl home.” “What?” you’d ask. “Watermelon Crawl. I worship the singer Tracy Byrd. His work guides my spiritual life. He clearly dictates to us in 1994’s ‘Watermelon Crawl,’ ‘If you drink, don’t drive/Do the Watermelon Crawl.’ So give me your keys, slide up and to the right and wiggle your hips, sinner!” You’d laugh at me, right? Well, guess what? I laugh at much of the Bible! :eek:

If you want to discuss philosophy, fine. Want to compare notes on beliefs, dandy. Want to help with some relevant life lesson, get to it. (I am UU, after all - discussion is our life.) But use some meaningless (to me) drivel that is not based in fact, science, reality, or anything other than historical legend to dictate how I should live my life and you’ll get nothing but derision. If you can’t make your point without resorting to quoting a book that I hold no stock in then you’re not worth my time to listen to. Hey, I understand it works for you, but can’t you get it through your thick skull that it doesn’t work for me?

Yeah, I know this rant’s been done before, but it just seems so stupid and ridiculous to me anymore.

Esprix

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“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he”
proverbs 23:7

3

“If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.” John 15:6

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“Yore goin’ to HAY-yull for yore Sodomitic ways, heathen!
REPENT-ah, saith the Lord!”![sub]I feel much better now[/sub]

Well, you know that I am a complete materialist and beleive that all religious types–including UUs–are just spinning their wheels. However, just because I think that religion is nonsense doesn’t allow me to demean others’ faith. Mind you, I don’t always stick to that, but I do try. When I talk WB out of his latest silliness, I quote the Bible because it’s an authority he respects. I wished the blessing of the Holy Spirit on Jodi in a discussion, not because I believe in it, but because she does, and I wanted to show respect for her faith.

I dislike unreasonable people of all kinds, from meat-eaters who put down vegetarians to vegans who dis meat-eaters to peace protesters who wish to surrender to OBL to the “nuke the ragheads” crowd.

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“Circumsize therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no longer stiffnecked.” Deut. 10:16

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“Sinner!”
I am sure its in there somewhere 3:13

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I can understand your frustration. I am a Christian, trying each day to live the best I can from what I believe and not always succeeding. I’m not sure whether you’ve read the Bible or not, but I’m sure that you’ve been exposed enough to it to have some knowledge.
What most people do not understand, witnessing should be directed towards those that HAVE NOT heard the word, not to those that have heard it and refuse to accept it. As you have pointed out, your mind is made up and no amount of witnessing, etc. will change your mind. That is your choice and should be respected. You have openly admitted that you have heard, read, etc. and have your own opinion that will not be swayed. For others to keep pounding away at you is not right, if anything, true to human nature, it will make you resist it that much more, as you have also admitted.
Sometimes people just don’t get this. Even in the Bible Jesus told the disciples that if they were not accepted in a town to leave that town and wipe the dust from their feet. Which means it was a lost cause even for them.
I wish you the best and I’m sorry that you have to be repeated subjected to this. I wish people could get the point that they are doing more harm than good.

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All I have to say is…Thanks Esprix for spelling out Fundamentalists. Somebody must have got through to you. :smiley:

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Hmmm… how much thinking does the heart do?

Great support for his rant there, a line from the Bible that makes absolutely no sense!

Esprix, I totally concur - just about every religious argument I get into lands at the same place - “Because the Bible says so!”

If there’s one thing that 10 years of intense bible study (mostly Christian Science, but there was a brief stint in Catholic school as well) tought me, it’s that the “Holy Bible” is indeed full of holes…

ex post-preview

Not quite sure about the point being made here; perhaps, Scylla, you are practicing irony? I mean, how else can one explain reacting to a rant about quoting the Bible by quoting the Bible?

I hate the feeling I’ve been ::whooshed::…

way ex post-preview

TheeGrumpy, thou art my new hero!

ultress, Exactly!

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Hear O Israel, the Lord, your God, the Lord is One.
(Schema Yisroel, Adonai Elohenu, Adonai Echod)
I believe in God, the Father Almighty, and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord.

In the name of Allah, the Merciful, the Compassionate, there is no God but Allah, and Mohammed is His prophet.
(Bismillah Allah, al-Rahim, al-Rahman, la ilaha illa-llah, Muhammadan Rasulu-llah

It’s all true!

11

OK, now that’s just heresy. Now I know you’re going to Hell.

ultress, you and people like Polycarp are the people that I can actually respect for their beliefs (unlike Wildest Bill, who seems to have missed the fact that he’s one of the best examples here on the SD of the people I’m talking about, but he’s too much of a stupid fuckwit to realize that) - thank you for being a believer without being an idiot.

Esprix

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Esprix, I don’t mean to take the piss but think about it from their position. They’re convinced that you will burn in hell for all eternity unless you discover the word of God. Right? You lambast them for not acting Christian but from their point of view, not trying to bring you around to their way of thinking is like knowing that there’s a bomb in a building and not telling anyone because the soon to be victims don’t want to know about it. It’s tough love.

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Man Gomez,

You are pretty wise. Are you sure you don’t want to come over to our side? :wink:

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Please please please tell me the tired, worn-out “bomb in the building” line was supposed to have a :wink: or a :smiley: after it. Please. Otherwise, I’m going to have to throw up all over you, and it won’t be pretty.

Esprix

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Oh, and if you’d a little more carefully read the OP, I’m not against discussion religion, or discussing theological beliefs. I do have a problem with someone saying, “You are a sinner because God said so right here on page 3,432!” To me, that is, to say the very lleast (and not to put too fine a point on it), A BUNCH OF FUCKING BULLSHIT!

{ahem}

Esprix

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Esprix, next time it happens, try telling the offender off about the way he’s in violation of the grooming standards as set forth in the Disneyland Employee Manual (or if it’s more accurate, the Disneyland Cast Members’ Stage Directions ;)). Or you could just make up a grooming standard on the spot and bluff him. Or her. The exchange might go like this:

Fundamentalist: You have to accept it as the truth because it’s in the Bible!

Esprix: Well, if you’re such an expert on such things, why are you wearing a beard in direct violation of The Disneyland Grooming Standards for male cast members?

F: But I don’t work at Disneyland.

E: So what? It’s still right there in the Cast Members’ Stage Directions!

F: But I’m not subject to the authority of the Disneyland Cast Member Stage Directions, because I don’t work for Disneyland!

E: So you’re saying that someone who isn’t affiliated with an organization is not subject to the authority of the documents that that organization operates under?

F: Of course not!

E: And the organization has no right to compel non-affiliated personnel to behave in accordance with the articles in their documents?

F: Right.

E: Well, with regard to religious organizations, I’m not affiliated with one that employs the Bible as an authoritative document on the subject of [insert subject here]. So if you want me to accept what you’ve said as true, you’re going to have to back it up with evidence from what I can consider a reliable source.

It’s worth a try.

17

Yeah, that’ll work. WB does that all the time. :rolleyes:

I rather preferred my friend’s friend Daniel. When confronted by Bible-belters, he’d engage them in conversation. He’d ultimately lead them into a discussion that ended with him quoting chapter and verse where true believers could be identified by gladly handing over their shoes to a disbeliever. Needless to say he had quite a collection of shoes, neckties, and so forth to show for his efforts.

I think he was one of them clever Jews. :wink:

Esprix

18

Point taken about WB, of course.

But I was really thinking about when it happens IRL. Otherwise, how can you see them to identify their violations?

Could you find me that chapter and verse about the shoes? I’m unemployed right now, and I’d like to pick up a few nice things for my next job interview. :smiley:

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Or you could try my wife’s technique when visited by Jehovah’s Witnesses, Independent Baptists (the SBC doesn’t do much home-visit evangelism around here, but the independents make up for it!), and others of that ilk:

Try to convert them right back at them.

By the time Barb’s gotten through the Apostolic Succession and how it’s required to remain in a right relationship with Christ who appointed them to spread His word in the first place, and dealt with the Real Presence, they always seem to remember an important appointment they had forgotten! :wink:

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Yeah, but how do you convert someone to UUism? Offer them coffee? Invite them to a night of drumming? :smiley:

Esprix