Ok, say you had a really really rotten day where everything that could possibly go wrong, did… work, home, family, whatever.
You are so upset that you are like a wild rabid wolf, caught in a leg trap, and anyone or anything that comes near you, you want to tear to shreds and devour.
Do you appreciate it when someone comes along, and no matter how bad it is for you, they try to cheer you up and they don’t give up until you have completely forgotten what you were upset about?
My answer is: Yes, I appreciate it in the end, even though I don’t appreciate it while it is happening. However, I hate it that I succumb to their cheering-up endeavors. It makes me think of the Ren & Stimpy Show episode, “The Happy Helmet.” That’s exactly how it feels. I wish I were Vulcan and could “turn-off” all of my emotions, sometimes.
I’m first!!
I really resent someone trying too hard to change my mood.
Sometimes I almost ENJOY my bad mood, I’m really into it, and I’m damn good at it, then some well-wisher comes along trying to FORCE me into compliance with his (or her) game plan.
Maybe I’m just a bitch…
That really depends. Sometimes, I’m in such a foul mood that trying to cheer me up will just fan the flames. I think it also depends on how they try and cheer me up, too. If I’m really ranting and raving, I don’t want Rebecca of Sunnybrooke Farm in my face telling me to cheer up…I want somebody to sympathize and empathize, and validate my rant. THEN, I’ll appreciate their efforts.
If I’m just generally in a funk because nothing has gone right, but no one thing is all that bad, then I’m pretty quick to cheer, and appreciative of the effort.
It usually pisses me off, unless someone really does a good job pumping ME up. Not making light of my mood, but making me feel good about me (ego central) is always a hit.
I have to admit, I enjoy being pissed off the majority of times when I am upset.
I usually want to bludgeon the happy-monger to a bloody pulp. They somehow always manage to make me laugh, against my will, and the darkness begins to recede. Damn it!
I used to have a full size boxers punching bag and would beat it til my knuckles cracked and bled when I was pissed off. God, I loved that. I need to get another one.
I try very hard to judge their mood, and what would work in that case. Sometimes ‘Ms Perky’ is what they need, sometimes it’s ‘Sgt Inyerfacesuckitupandeal’.
Don’t discount how hard, and often draining it is to do, either. Sorry, MSK, for the slight hijack.
<head bowed, shoulders slumped, pbear shuffles off, too drained to care, feeling rather Vulcanish at the moment>
The morning after my stepdad died, I stopped for flowers on my way to mom’s. The florist noticed my glum demeanor and commented “Do I detect a need for coffee?” WTF?
Like the wimpy pansy-ass that I am, I smiled at her and said “Yeah, guess you do”, or something equally inane.
I would never suggest to a frowning stranger, or even a scowling friend, that they “smile” or “cheer up”. It’s rude, presumptious and condescending.
I appreciate when someone shows concern for how I’m feeling, but it can depend on who is trying to cheer me up and how they go about it how I react. Somebody who is too damn perky just gets on my nerves. Getting me to laugh is a pretty reliable way to snap me out of a bad mood. My way of dealing with the world in general is to try to find the humor in any situation, since I feel the world to be a pretty silly place most of the time anyway.
I hate it when I’m in a foul mood. It makes me even shorter-tempered with techs while on the phone and I really have to bite my tongue when dealing with someone in the department and their computer incompetence. I’m grateful if someone can snap me out of it. Sometimes they can do it easily. BUT…
When I’m in my wit’s-end, gonna blow big time, head-for-the-hills-she’s-pissed moods, I don’t want someone with that Pollyanna attitude to make all smiley at me and tell me that I’ll feel better if I just laugh a little. AAARRRGHHH - brachy dives over her desktop and tackles the offender and while holding the happy hooligan in a half-nelson, forces said idiot to admit that we are all bound and gagged backseat passengers in this taxi-to-hell we call Earth headed for an existence of doom and gloom.
On the other hand, my friend/birding partner can take one look at me and knows my moods. He either lets me be for a bit and then asks what’s wrong or says something that lifts the mood right away. He’s an excellent judge of my moods.
I truly despise the dysfunctional idiots who seem to believe that if they don’t somehow cheer me up, it’ll be MY fault for bringing them down. Tough.
They’re the folks who don’t want to know why you’re grumpy, upset, angry or sad. They just want to recruit you into their “perky-as-a-puppy cult”, and they don’t want any lame excuses like “my grandma died” or “I just found my girlfriend in bed with my best friend, my dog, and my favorite football team”. For them, it isn’t about how you’re feeling bad, but how you’re putting the brakes on their runaway cheerfulness train .
If someone tries to tactfully find out what’s bugging me before they start prescribing smiles and a cheerful attitude, I might cut them some slack. All others should be aware that I can and have bitten people’s heads off without regret.
If I’m angry or upset, I only want certain people trying to cheer me up, such as friends. It especially irritates me when people see me upset and come up to say, “Don’t be sad, Jesus loves you,” or some other bullshit like that. It won’t make a difference to me whether Jesus/God loves me when I’m upset. It’s the last thing on my mind, and besides that, what if I don’t agree on beliefs with them? Does that mean I have every right to tell them I don’t want them shoving their dogma down my throat, especially if I’m not in a Miss Mary Sunshine mood? Of course it does to me, but I often don’t exercise this right because I feel it’s not going to work in most cases.
