A friend of mine at work’s husband has been out of work for over 1 1/2 years. Additionally, they are cutting off all unemployment benefits in about a month. I would like to do something nice for this lady; she’s a great person and is kind of like a mother figure to so many teachers and kids at work(I’m a teacher, as is she). She leads the blood drive to help those that need it and is just a great person.
My initial idea was to get a gift card to a restaurant for them, but they have 3 kids in their teens and I can’t afford to pay for all them to go together. Basically, my gift card may end up forcing them all out to eat and costing them more money. Also, I’m not sure any kind of financial gift would be accepted(is that even socially acceptable?).
What are some ideas to help this person feel better?
I think it would depend on how close you are to her, and what kind of person she is. If you are not close, or if she has tremendous pride, helping might be unacceptable to her. If this is not the case, an offer of a small loan might ease her pride. “It’s not charity, she is going to pay you back.”
Maybe your best bet would be to get a gift certificate for a local grocery store. That way she can pick what she needs, rather than having to eat at a certain place, when what she needs is laundry detergent. If you work with her this could be given anonymously.
Do you think the loan of the amount of money to take 2 people out to dinner is really going to make much of a difference?
Obviously the OP is wanting to make a nice gesture of appreciation here, not really substantially helping this family out, as that would appear to beyond the OP’s means.
@ Mahaloth - do you know if your friend likes the movies, concerts, theater etc.? If so, consider buying two tickets and giving them to her as an appreciation for all that she’s done for you over the years. I would guess, that doing things like that have been cut out of their budget with her hubby out of work. Having the tickets would permit them to enjoy an evening out. I wouldn’t worry too much about the teenagers.
Could you pay enough to treat her and her husband and specify that it is just for the two of them? When we were in a similar position, any spare cash was going to maintain things for the kids (lessons, sports fees, etc.) We really appreciated it when friends and family treated us to a “date night.”
Food assistance is the easiest kind to get if she’s just willing to ask for it. I would go for a gas station gift card. You might also consider giving it anonymously in an encouraging card by mail or something.
Actually, having been out of work for over a year myself now, I would think it would. Admittedly, I don’t have the stress of raising children, so maybe I don’t understand the importance of “a night out,” quite the same. But, I don’t have the stress of trying to feed and clothe children, either. To my mind, a small loan… 2 people out to dinner…what, about $50? Hmm, would I rather have one night out, or gas to get to work? Groceries for my entire family for a week, maybe longer, if I’m frugal?
Yeah, I’d go with a gift card, too, to someplace rather general. (Think big-box.) That way, it can be a treat or for badly-needed basics, whatever they need. One thing folks in this kind of situation don’t have is a lot of control over their circumstances. Giving a gift card to Wal-Mart, the local grocery chain, a gas chain, etc. gives them a small amount of control back.
I was not trying to suggest a loan for dinner and a movie. Honestly, if you can’t afford to go out, don’t go out. I was raised to believe entertainment is a luxury expense.
I am trying to suggest a small loan so that the money is ensured of going to where the recipient needs it most.
Maybe I should have been clearer the first time. Some people have a large amount of pride, and WILL NOT accept charity, would be offended at the offer. If the offer is called a “loan,” it is easier to accept. Am I the only one that has ever loaned a friend $20 for gas 'til payday?
I’d get them a gift certificate to a restaurant and/or 2 movie tickets and include a card saying it’s for a “date night.” This neatly conveys it’s just for the parents.