FRTs. No, not farts, FRTs. Sickos.

You know those flat rubber thingies with the holes in them at the bottom of urinals? I don’t know what they’re called or what they’re for, so I’m going to call them FRT’s. I’m at work and was just taking a leak(God, don’t you just love the stuff that comes out of MPSIMS?). Anyway, I’m doing my thing, aiming at the little holes. There’s always a little spray that hits the FRT, but that’s unavoidable unless you piss milk or something. I’m trying intently to concentrate on the stream. Just a little too much pressure or a little relaxation, and you’ll splash the main stream off the FRT. You can always tell, because you go from that satisfying ‘pee stream hitting the open water sound’ to the ‘did I just piss on the wall again?’ sound. Very disconcerting, hence the game. When I come up with the official rules, a way to keep score, and plans for a league, you guys will be the first to know. So I’m sitting here concentrating really hard when I think, is this wierd? Should I be worried that I’m this intent on peeing through one of the little holes? And, does anybody else do this? I was going to conduct a survey around the office, but I like my job and would like to keep it. This post doesn’t really deserve a response, I just thought I’d fill you in on one more thing that goes through my mind. It’s Friday!

And I’m outta here in 45 minutes. Woo-hoo!

My aim is terrible, but I’ll play anyway.

It’s better than the “let’s clog the toilet with giant turds” game I’ve been playing…

Ever since I was a little kid, while peeing In a toilet I have always wanted to fill the entire top up with those impact bubbles that form, then swirl around with the current. My best effort to date was an estimated 90%. After that point it gets difficult to consistantly hit the open area, and I end up breaking more bubbles than I create, plus the earliest bubbles start to breakdown after that much time. Hey what else can you do while holding your Johnson for 3 minutes.

Well, most urinals I use don’t have little holes, just one big one, and it’s usually covered completly with the FRT. Hmm…better look up the actual name of those things and put them in my book…the things to make it smell nice are the urinal cakes, but I don’t know about the FRT’s…
Anyway, when I do use a urinal with the multiple little holes, I do aim for them, I hate the sound and splashback that one gets from pissing on an FRT.

Oh man, talk about a loaded question!

My favorite game was to form a large circle of the impact bubbles, then slice the circle into quarters with my stream.

Another fun game is to flush the toilet while peeing, to see if you can finish just as the toilet finishes flushing.

Oh man, I love the bubble game. Too bad it’s not challenging with a urinal. I’ll need to remember the slice the circle one, I always go for coverage. As for trying to finish peeing right as the flush finishes, there’s always some left over at the end. Either drips or one last squeeze. And after that, even though it really doesn’t need it, I sometimes flush again anyway.

As a member of the female persuasion I’m not sure whether to be grateful that I can’t piss standing up, or jealous of those of you who have something to do other than stare at the wall while you pee. What a completely uninteresting disparity of human existance.