This is the most annoying damn thing in the world. I’ve finally found a girl that I can connect with emotionally and spiritually but she acts and dresses like Roseanne.
She just doesn’t want to put forth the effort. If we’re not out somewhere then she is sitting on the couch in sweats and an old crappy T shirt. There’s been times I’ve come up with places to go just to get her to clean up a little bit. But her natural inertia is towards the damn couch. It wears me out.
I’ve given her Victoria’s Secret gift cards for her birthday, helped her buy clothes, etc. She spends the money but hardly wears any of it.
The worst part is her skin. She breaks out a lot but it is manageable. She used to treat it when we were first dating but now she just uses some gritty face scrub that I think only inflames her skin and makes it look like hell. Think big, red oozing bumps. I mean, I understand. I suffered with acne through my teen years and early 20’s but the difference is I actually made at least a half-assed effort at fixing it.
She’s actually got a nice body, pretty thin. But she’s not very “endowed” up top. And she always wears old baggy T shirts. This combined with crappy skin, and frizzy hair just reminds me of 7th grade before girls started filling out and wearing make up. NOT a turn on.
Tonight she leaned to kiss me and I kind of pushed her away after a second. I just couldn’t do it. “You don’t love me anymore?” she asked.
Fuck. It’s not like I’m asking for a supermodel here. I’m certainly not on the cover of GQ, but I do take care of myself. Shit, if she would just clean up on a Friday night I’d be happy.
It really fucking sucks. I’ve done everything I can to drop hints, be supportive, etc. Everything except straight up tell her “I’m not attracted to you.”
You should tell her everything you just told us. Girls really like it when you’re honest with them about stuff like this. All we really want is a guy who will tell us when we’re dressed like slobs and our skin is really gross.
Seriously, honesty is the best foundation for any relationship :rolleyes:
Whenever you see your type of woman in a commercial, on the cover of a magazine or sitting at the table next to yours at a restaurant loudly declare “Now THAT’s a woman!”
Yeah, what you have here is a friend. A friend is someone who you connect with, but have no desire to kiss or fuck. A girlfriend is someone who you connect with, *and *have a great desire to kiss and fuck.
I don’t even get why you stuck around in the first place. Sounds like there wasn’t much effort on her part from the start.
Lay it out for her. Some people just don’t get hints. If she doesn’t care or want to try, then break up. Ask her why she doesn’t look like she did/take care of herself like she did when you first started dating, and go from there.
That said, I’m pretty frumpy at home too. I work hard all day, and the first thing I want to do when I get home is take off my makeup and work clothes and be comfortable. Is that what she’s doing?
Yep. Break up with her. If she wants to know why, tell her. She needs to know that many people have expectations about grooming. A person who doesn’t care at all about their appearance may not think very highly of themselves.
I think you’re coming around to think about what it’ll be like to spend the next several decades living with this girl. If this is how you’re feeling now, and she wants to get married, you’d better move out ASAP and don’t string her along. All the same, don’t humiliate her either.
There may well be a guy out there who gets her to feel good about herself and wanting to dress up, but apparently it’s not going to be you. At least not in your current situation. If she does wake up to being an attractive, outgoing gal, but you’re not the guy who got her there, don’t whine about it later.
