I attended a singles gathering this past Friday (I’m single) and met this very nice woman. We hit it off fantastically. We had some things in common, ie medical field, likes to play tennis. She is probably in her mid to late 30’s although I could be wrong. What attracted me to her was her figure. This lady had a figure that is comparable to Beyonce, I mean the right curves in the right places. Although it was a bit chilly out, we separated from the group and took a walk along this boardwalk. Neither of us had ever been to this location, so it was all new and fascinating. We must have walked together for 30 minutes if not longer. We went on a carnival ride (I got a little nauseous, but she handled it well), but just walked side by side talking about anything and everything most of the time. I didn’t make any moves on her because I didn’t want to ruin it.
We traded numbers and she mentioned on parting that she would love to meet again with me.
I’m thinking this new relationship probably has the potential for something big but…doesn’t God throw wrench in things sometimes?
Her face is very plain. I’m pretty sure she wasn’t wearing any makeup to speak of, and it showed. She looks like what Julia Roberts or Sara Jessica Parker might look like without makeup, and it probably adds 5-10 years to her face (or maybe not). I’m sure that if she used just some basic makeup, it would really transform her face.
Here’s my question. How can I broach this to her so as not to offend her? I would really love to continue this relationship and see where it goes.
You can’t. You don’t get to start trying to change someone after one half-assed pseudo “date”. Deal with the absence of makeup on this otherwise fabulous woman, or find someone who better suits your needs in the area of personal grooming.
I agree. How would you take it if she said to you after your first date “oh hey, you know, I’d be more attracted to you if you dressed preppier/more gothic/had more piercings, etc. Could you do it so I’d see fireworks while I’m with you?”
Nuh uh. This is the phase where everything about her enchants you and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. If you’re already thinking “well only if she…” then you’re setting yourself up for failure.
If this is such a big deal to you, then move on because this can only end badly for the both of you.
Either you like her or you don’t. A very good way to guarantee that you don’t see her again is to tell her she’d look better wearing makeup. Either move on from that - completely, not just keeping it to yourself but get it totally out of your head - or give up now on the relationship.
Well, I’m not guizot, but I’d say that wasn’t “hate” so much as just a way of pointing out to you the silliness of your question. What, at this point, are you willing to change about yourself for her? If she said to you “Hey, you’d be much more attractive if you shaved your head” would you? Would you think it’s a reasonable request?
No, it’s “just deal with it” forever. She knows about make up. For whatever reason, she doesn’t wear it. It’s not like you could possibly tell her anything she doesn’t know, and if you bring it up, then forever after, every time you look at her, she’ll see criticism.
I don’t even understand the root of the objection. Is is that you don’t like looking at her, and don’t want to keep looking at that face, so she needs to hide it? Or is it a philosophical one, “people have a responsibility to look their best”, and her deviation bothers you in principle?