User's Manual for being Reasonably Cute Nubile Female, please

In My Humble Opinion
1

I am not female nor have I ever been an RCNF as per the subject title, but I’m putting in for it for my next life, so I want to get straight on some stuff ahead of time, you know?

OK, by RCNF, I mean that if I put some effort into it, scrape polish fluff accentuate and wrap in well-chosen clothings, I get to be, let’s say, 83rd percentile, on the Quick Glance Desirability Quotient™ as normalized for hetero guys. (Let’s assume, even though it’s harder for me to imagine right now than simple stuff like breasts and no dangly boybits and a vagina and periods and all that, that in this next life I’ve been wired to have whatever lusts I have tuned in towards malefolks). Perhaps possibly if I go all strenuously all-out and devote my money and time and energy into perfecting the femininity thing, I could go quite a bit higher, like desirable enough that unless you stood me up against a lineup of professional fasion models folks would think I look like a professional fashion model, etc etc.

Now, what I want to know is, what if I don’t bother? I mean seriously, like I don’t shave anything, I just wash my hair in cheap shampoo and let it dry and don’t even comb or brush it unless it gets in my eyes, and I wear inexpensive comfortable clothes that fit decent but dont’ have much else going for them, only wear sneakers, don’t do makeup at all, and, you know, just don’t put any energy into it aside from showering daily and brushing my teeth now and then and only wearing yesterday’s clothes when I forget to do the laundry. What if? What do I lose out on?

• The Guys, Serious Ongoing Rel Hookups and Short-Term Fun —The way I figure it, based on my experience of being a guy and having overheard other guys, the only way being Cute as All Getout® is gonna help me out here is if from among the guys who come on to me cuz they wanna bed me cuz I’m Cute as All Getout®, I can spot the Keepworthy™ ones, somehow keep their interest, and convert said interest from the rather immediately focused desire to fuck my brains out to a more widespread interest in getting to know me. Well, OK, there are the twin alternative possibilities of being so Good in Bed™ for the Keepworthy™ one I decide to work on that he hangs on more or less permanently for the Good in Bed™ part — umm, but isn’t that just a tactic for holding onto him long enough for the more widespread interest stuff to take root? Or will I be fine with a guy who just keeps returning for the Good in Bed™ part? Or (second twin) maybe some Keepworthy™ guy will get a lot of satisfaction at having and being able to escort a RCNF, so he continues the relationship in order to feel so good about himself for having scored such a delicious-looking girlfriend?

OK, correct me if I’m wrong here, but wouldn’t I probably get my rocks off and end up with someone pretty decent company in bed with me if I forego all that and just take my unfancy unadorned self over to some Keepworthy™ guy and get increasingly blatant about fancying his ass until message is received? Bop him over the head and drag him back to my cave. Then from among those who are decent conversation and aren’t in a hurry to slam the door byebye the next morning, just see how it goes?
•Other Women, and ego — yeah, OK, so some, maybe lots, of other women would get all snobnosed about how little effort I put into it. What’s their problem, anyhow? Am I dragging down the collective reputation of womenfolks? But seriously, I’ve known lesbian women who have straight female friends who are fine with them and fine with their lack of legshaving and disinterest in nylons and so on. Would I be bereft of the friendship of so many other girls if my attitude was “screw this crap” and I just didn’t bother with any of it? I mean, maybe some, but I probably wouldn’t have liked them much anyhow, or vice versa. What do you think, would I be treated like some kind of weirdo misfit and have to feel all alone a lot of the time, or would it be no big deal?
And I mean, it’s not like I’d be the only chick in town looking and acting like this, either, right?

So…assuming I don’t personally feel like I’m depriving myself of glamour and vivacity and all that by going careless-to-light-butch, are there any penalty flags I’m not anticipating that I need to give serious thought to before I do this next life and all?

2

Well, if you’re gonna use cheap soap and stuff, I won’t date you. I mean, if you don’t care about yourself, why should I? Bad attitude! Loser!

There’s gonna be too many other RCNFs that go all out, ya know?

3

I don’t know about my natural attractiveness quotient, but I fit all the other stuff pretty well. And yeah, I’m pretty darn happy on the guy front. I think, however, you underestimate the influence of ego and overestimate the influence of other women. I think we’re pretty tied up in how our physical attractiveness makes us feel.

However, I’m a total lazy-ass, so it isn’t really worth it.

4

Amen. I’m the RCNF, and I don’t put much effort into it like 90% of the time. Of course except for work and school I really don’t get out all that much either, so, the Guy Quotient[sup]TM[/sup] is about zip. Except for guys I already knew.

So really you don’t miss out on a whole lot. You don’t get to compete in pretty contests with chicks and if you can pull it off honestly then you feel much better about yourself.

-foxy

5

Sorry, you are going to have to comb or brush your hair unless you have a really short haircut.

Well, you’re a guy, right? (Process of elimination: not female = male) Would this technique work on you? Think about it.

No big deal. But seriously, you think lesbian=unshaved legs and not lesbian=interest in nylons? In my experience you just can’t tell from those things.

  1. When you show up for your job interview, you could be perceived as someone who doesn’t give a flip about dressing for success. Or who didn’t even bother to get done up for the job interview. Of course, conversely, if you went all out with the makeup and the done hair you might be perceived as too shallow and frivolous to be taken seriously. And if you actually got the job, then you’d have to dress like that all the time.

  2. If you’re gonna dress like you say in your OP you will miss out on the funnest thing about being female, which is the shoes. I mean sure, you can wear four-inch stilettos without nylons and without shaving your legs, but, um, what’s the point? And once you have 150 pairs of shoes then you have to have other stuff to go with them, and once you have that other stuff on then it just doesn’t look right unless you do your hair, and once your hair is done you need a touch of lipstick at the very least and mascara if you’re lighthaired. (Wait, it just occurred to me that the last time I wore really high heels I wore them with jeans and a hoodie. Okay. Never mind.)

  3. Shopping for something to swim in? Aaargh. Men get to do everything from bikini Speedos to baggy knee-length, but whatever they wear they do not have to shave anyplace they don’t normally shave, which could be no shaving at all. Females, on the other hand, are hard-pressed to find anything that doesn’t show some hair. And while hairy legs are one thing, having pubic hair hanging out of your suit is considered bad grooming (best case) to indecent exposure (worst case).

  4. In that same vein: Like the feel of the sun on your bare chest? Goodbye to that.

  5. Final penalty flag. When you become middle-aged you will become not only sexless, but invisible. At that point anything you do will be suspect. Don’t fuss-- “ah, she’s let herself go.” Do fuss: “Mutton dressed as lamb,” “Hanging onto her youth with both hands.” Etc. Middle-aged men are cuter with wrinkles, their clothing much more forgiving of spare tires, and if they dump their wives they generally end up with a younger woman and the dumped wives end up with nobody because they are sexless and invisible. So along with a wish to be the opposite sex, put in one for eternal youth.

6

Orf coruse I meant eternal nubility.

7

The joy that is finding that perfect lipstick…

No really - I dunno. I could never be one of those uber-low maitenence kind of gals - I don’t know why - I just don’t have it in me. I suppose I like getting myself foxied up.

dunno, guy. I just don’t know.

8

I wanted to add - I don’t get girlied up to attract men, either. I have a feeling I would be more successful if I were to skip it. I’ve been told that women that are “too perfect” are somewhat intimidating, and the assumption is that they’re total bitches, FWIW.

9

Forget getting gussied up for men. As long as you’ve got the tits and a nice smile, you’re set in that department. But you may want to consider grooming for puposes of general respect and job opportunities. Let’s face it, if you look like a homeless person, you’re going to have security following you around the store, not a salesperson waiting to help you. You may get a job at a record store, but you’re not going to go up much from there.

I’m not too girly but at 31 I am girlier than I ever have been. Here’s what I concentrate on:
Hair: wash every day, use shampoo and conditioner at least every other day. Get cut once every month or two.
Eyebrows: Pluck strays as needed.
Face: a good moisturizer (not the chintzy kind you can buy at Long’s drugstore).
Shave pits often, shave legs as needed (which for me is about once a month).
Clothes/shoes: No holes, stains, rips.
Brush teeth, use deodorant, trim nails occasionally.

I am by no means a fashion plate. I don’t wear makeup or nailpolish or jewelry (other than the same necklace and earrings I wear every day), I only wear high heels for weddings or similar. But I’m smart enough to know that at least decent grooming helps me get what I want. So go ahead and be sloppy in your next life if you want, but be prepared to have a crap job and be treated like a second-class citizen. Sad but true.

10

My husband does NOTHING to make himself attractive to the opposite sex, yet somehow I find him irresistable. He’s got long gray hair, hasn’t shaved since the late 60s and his clothes don’t fit. And I’m a girly-girl. On the Girly-Girl scale of 1 to 100, I’d put myself around the 85% line. Whatever floats your boat, ya know!

I know TONS of women who fit this description and are either happily married or getting more ass than a toilet seat.

The moral of the story is: It takes all kinds. One man’s ceiling is another man’s floor and all that.

11

Well, you’ve just pretty much described me, and I’ve never lacked for female friends (as an adult). Men are another story, and I suspect I’ve have better luck in that department if I did bother to dress up a bit, but honestly, I can’t be bothered and I don’t especially want a relationship at the moment anyway.

12

Hilarity N. Suze:

Misread this the first time around as “Would this technique work for you?” (I didn’t think that was a reasonable comparison to make)

Would it work on me? Absolutely. It would be flattering on one level to be selected for a good boink, and a delicious rush for the selecting process to work like that. Then if afterwards she’s friendly and likes to talk, and shows any interest in getting back together for more talk and maybe more boink, I am so there, and feeling so lucky :slight_smile:

13

This pretty much sums up the New Age aesthetic. Big tits, slim waist, toned legs, good smile. Don’t forget the big tits.

14

I don’t get that at all (should probably post an entry about that in the “mindsets you can’t wrap your head around” thread), but in the OP scenario I set up for this thread I don’t guess my current tastes in such things would be of any relevance one way or the other.

Small and cute for me though. A or AAish. I see big ones I think “moo” and I think “sore back, owwie, poor gal”. I can get past that if I like the person but it’s like dating someone who’s got a big flabby fat tummy. Definitely not sexy in the least.

[/hijacking my own thread]

15

No, no, no…women like other women who don’t keep up their looks! We hate the ones who look better than us.

Thank you. When it seems like the whole world is fixated on big tits, it’s nice to hear someone speak up for us little 'uns once in a while.

16

At 23 I was the girl you are describing.

My experience, when I took the effort to look really good, the scum came out of the woodwork and women didn’t like me.

When I took no effort whatsoever (well, except for basic stuff, like showers) I could pass. Wore my hair short and could finger comb it even! No one cares if you don’t shave if you just have jeans on.

I preferred the guys I dated who I met when I wasn’t gussied up.
However, it is fun…you’d be surprised how fun it is to be “model good looking” (even just sort of second tier model good looking) and walk into a bar. Better yet to walk into a party with a guy you really like when its all his friends and he’s going to get lucky later. Believe it or not, getting your hair highlighted and your nails done and your body sugar buffed is fun. (The waxing I can pass on). There is something fun about being a girl. You don’t need to do it, but if you had the ability to be model good looking, I’d bet you’d do it at least once.

17

I used to be so terribly low-maitenence that I would very rarely get hit on. I would hit on guys all the time but got just a few takers. I wasn’t disappointed, most people get shot down and I didn’t really want/need a boyfriend.

Sometime in College I started wearing female clothing and getting my hair more under control and moved up to low-maitenence. I chased after a mildly famous guy I had a huge crush on and got him anyway. I never had trouble getting dates.

Now I am less low-maitenence. I epilate (but that’s more for me than for any guy), shower regularly, have good dental hygine and pluck my eyebrows when they are getting out of control. I still use the cheap shampoo (hey, I like how Sauve smells!) and haven’t mastered the art of putting on makeup and I just use bodywash. When I am in the mood, I will dress up all fancy and actually wear makeup and jewelry, but most of the time I wear tshirts, jeans and have my hair back in a ponytail. I don’t have problems getting dates and I’ve had some really good relationships. My ex thought/thinks I look a lot better when I don’t wear makeup (it makes me look older) and I never wear it on first dates. I don’t have a problem getting dates and I’ve gotten a lot of second and third ones. I still get shot down occasionally, especially when I make my interest very obvious, but who doesn’t?

18

I am one of the “uber-low-maintenance” women of the world.

Not quite as bad as described in the OP. But, usually no (or very little makeup), I don’t do the clothes thing or the shoe thing (really, I’d rather shop for bikinis than shoes, and I do not have the kind of body that should ever be anywhere near a bikini). Most of the time, I to find going that extra mile really annoying. If other people want to do it, good for them.

I luckily work in an industry that doesn’t pay that much attention to clothing and makeup. Gadgets, yes. Clothing, not so much. I know I would have to change if I switched industries.

Other women don’t seem to care, either. Or maybe I just have great friends. However, I’m entirely invisible to men. On the other hand, on the occasions when I do take the effort, I’ll get compliments from women and am still entirely invisible to men (unless I’m hanging out with an RNCF friend, in which case, they’ll want to know whether she’s single - after that’s been answered, I regain my powers of transparency).

For some women, all the effort in the world doesn’t change anything. So, make sure that when you put in the request, you are very particular about where on the scale you want to be.