Fuck Home Depot and the Saw Horse You Rode In On

The BBQ Pit
1

Dear Home Depot,

I generally love your little store (ha ha, that’s a joke…we all know your square footage could cover Anna Nicole). However, what has my closest, most convenient little orange and white megaplex done to offend your personnel department? Are the asociates who work there some sort of a work-release program for leering, incompetent, chauvinistic jackasses?

Case in point: I had contact with you all three times in the last week. The first time, I went to the store and was practically run down by every “free” associate in the store asking me if I needed help. Ordinarily this would not be a problem, but they were staring at my breasts, which was a problem. It is a further problem that you apparently employ desperate leerers because my outfit of sweatshirt and baggy jeans didn’t strike me as a real crowd pleaser when I rummaged through my laundry basket to find something to wear while running to the store. I’m not really one of those types who leans down and starts talking to a man’s penis to make my point, so it was just an awkward visit for me. You understand.

My second contact was via phone

me: I am looking for your 4x4 tile with plaid and giant fruitcake emblems (actual tile changed to protect my innocent tile)

employee of the year: yeah…

me: Well, do you have it?

employee of the year: You want me to check?

Anyway, you get the point. I think this is more an instance of stupidity/incompetence but it’s at the same store, so I cannot overlook the coincidence.

My third contact occurred just last Sunday. At this time, I was actually buying the tile – gasp – by myself. I guess my wedding ring signified Open Season on my husband because the leering tile man was openly musing that my husband “musta sent you out while he’s home watching the game” and the patronizing, “did he at least tell you how much grout to get?” After I kicked him in the balls – ha ha, just another little joke, I wouldn’t want to risk exposing my beloved foot to the various STD’s that I’m sure are all snug in his crotch – I said, “.”, which means I said nothing because I am a chicken. That’s why I’m writing you this nice letter. I just wheeled my flat cart away.

Then, at the checkout, there was this nice gentleman who I am sure showers at least monthly. He took my flat cart outside while I was distracted by the evil people that made me actually pay. He told me to bring my car around, which I did. Then he wanted to know if my birthday was in July (Whaaa?). About 5 hours later I got that he thought I had been given my car for my birthday! And he actually leered at my licence plate to see the date of the registration renewal! Wow. Another point for smarmy, chauvinistic ass hairs! Of course in my befuddlement over his comment, he surmised that “you must be driving your husband’s car.”

So, I ask you, Corporate Home Depot…What the FUCK?

2

Home Depot is best viewed as a “self-serve” shopping destination.

So, I gotta ask ya, are they real? :wink:

I know the routine! Must not get within 100 feet, etc. etc.

3

I just knew someone who worked there would see this :smiley:

4

So, Missy, need some more supplies so yer husband can finish the kitchen floor in time for you to cook Christmas dinner?

That’s some pretty reprehensible behavior they’ve got going there. Do you have an alternative, like a Menard’s, you can go to?

5

Type this up without the vulgarities, and with more particulars about which store you went to, and mail it to corporate HQ.

6

I would have written sooner but the hubby needed me to haul out the trash while he’s sitting on the sofa scratching his nethers.

Never heard of “Menard’s” (and, actually, I first read it as Mermaids, which would have been pretty kooky). We do have a Loews but it’s

:::cue violin music:::

So Far Away (at least an additional 15 miles).

7

Go there next time wearing a t-shirt saying: My face is not down here.

8

You know, I’m really going to do this. Good advice.

9

If you want, throw in some statement about not bringing it to the store manager’s attention because you assumed with such widespread behavior that it was ignored at a managerial level. (Or if you’re not feeling like calling down the wrath of HQ quite yet, send that letter to the manager instead.) Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, but at the very least you’ll be letting someone responsible know about the problem in proper customer treatment.

10

You gotta be joking! I could only dream of working at the Depot! They would never hire me! They have standards ya know! :smiley:

She told me she loved me like a brother. She was from Arkansas, hence the Joy!

11

Hmmm. You shop at Depot and love their prices yet expect them to have ladies and gentlemen in their employ, those folk being on sabbatical from Harvard or Cornell? An average employee induction process involves three weeks of deprogramming, such that when you want to purchase a toilet, the response is NOT, “You want fries widdat?”

With the lowest prices come the lowest common denominator in terms of service and customer support. As the owner of a construction company, I go to dedicated wholesalers (who also have showrooms for the residential types) and pay more for my product, because I get more.

Don’t expect the taste of filet when you’ve only paid for groundhog, even if your boobs look nice in sweats.

12

What a shock. You work in construction :rolleyes:

13

Before you do, check the Safeway thread.

After all, you don’t want to offend the Whine Patrol.

14

Jesus, Darleth, do you really not get the point over there?

Haj

15

…and you too, Derleth!

16

Sigh. I don’t think the “lowest common denominator” necessarily means employees who gleefully stare at customers’ breasts.

I mean, maybe they’re not the sharpest crayons in the box, fine. But acting as if they were raised by wolves? No, I don’t think so. Let 'em go back to the forest, if they can’t behave with the most minimal amount of decorum. Customers don’t have to tolerate being leered at in order to enjoy lower prices. Give me a break.

Unless you want to promote a business where the customers know up front that they’ll get lower prices depending on how luscious their ta-tas are. That’s an interesting idea. Hey, I’ve got a big pair of boobies—therefore, I’ll expect a big discount when the male staff at these kind of stores feast their eyes on my chest. Fair’s fair, isn’t it?

17

Most strange. Marcie and I have been painting three bathrooms, one hallway, a kitchen, and a living room over the last few weeks. No one at Home Depot has stared at my boobs. Maybe they were staring at Marcie’s; I’ll ask her. She says they haven’t, but she wouldn’t mind being ogled a few more times before old age really sets in. Anyway, I’ve always found the help at Home Depot to be above average. Lowe’s, on the other hand, is rotten and we will not shop there.

18

Somebody actually called Home Depot and asked about tile patterns? And expected an answer? Love it!

Kids - do yourselves and your economy a favor - go to REAL stores, pay REAL money, get REAL stuff.

Home Depot sold how many tons of green lumber to idiots?

p.s. - I hope you know that there are many different kinds of tile…

  • heathen, who also buys building materials from building supply houses, but is not involved in construction trades.
19

This must be a store-by-store problem.

I have a Lowe’s, Menards, and Home Depot all within 10 miles of my abode and love them all. One of my favorite things to do is stroll through the hardware…ahhhhhh…

Yes, they are “self-serve”. That does NOT give them license to treat customers poorly. I’m not in the Home Depot to discuss nuclear physics with Rhodes’ scholars but they damn well better be nice and know where the hell I can find the hammers!

I’ve never been treated like the OP at any time and I do share a large portion of my income with them.

You have an obligation to let corporate know. I’d send the letter to corporate with a copy to the store manager. With the amount of stiff competition out there, I’m sure Home Depot will be grateful for the info.

20

I feel your pain.

I used to work at a small hardware store, and the sexist crap I had to deal with was not comiserate with my salary, I assure you. I was leered at, propositioned, and in one case, groped.

Case in point: a man came in to get parts for a plumbing job he was doing. I asked him what he needed, and he hemmed and hawed for a moment until I asked him what it was for. He told me what he was doing, and I said, Oh, well, you’re going to need this, and this and that."

“No, I won’t need that,” he said.

“Do you have one already?” I asked, and he said no, he didn’t. Well, I could clearly see (as could anyone with an IQ of 36) that he had to have this connecting part, or it wouldn’t work. I said as much as politley as I could, and demonstrated why. He rolled his eyes, and said “Is there a MAN here that could help me?”

I smiled sweetly and said that no, and that I was terribly, terribly sorry there were only silly females in the store. He paid for his purchases and left.

Half an hour later, he was back for the missing part. I saw him coming across the parking lot, grabbed it from the shelf, and met him at the door with it in my hand, grinning from ear to ear. “Did you forget something?”