Fuck My Right Little Toe

Yes that’s right. Fuck that damn Littlest Piggy.

Specifically, fuck it for getting hooked on the mat last night whilst leaving jiujitsu and getting bent about 90 degrees the wrong way.

Now part of my foot is radiating heavily in the “violet” shade of the spectrum, walking hurts, I can barely get a soft pair of sneakers on and most certainly can’t get boots on.

Which is really the shits since I was supposed to go up to Lake Tahoe with 20 other guys for a looong weekend of hanging out, snowshoeing, skiing, general goofing off and Super Bowl partying. At this point my participation in said trip would be reduced to lie in hotel bed and occasionally limp around. I don’t gamble, I want to go play in the damn snow!

Medical results so far are that it’s either badly sprained or broken. On the up-side, neither the doc nor the radiologist said “Yup, that’s busted” so if it is a break it’s probably a tiny one. I didn’t see anything on the x-ray myself (not that that means much). It’s the difference between two weeks of tape, RICE and going easy versus 6-8 weeks of same plus wearing a goofy special shoe.

Wee wee wee wee all the way home :frowning:

The last house I lived in before Hurricane Andrew was a poured-concrete steel-reinforced bombshelter of a home. Think “hurricane” and “Cold War”.

One morning I left my bedroom to get a second cup of coffee. When I got to the door between my living room and bedroom I realized I had left my coffee cup on my nightstand and turned around to retrieve it. As I turned (rather quickly, as I was going after my second cup and I was still not quite awake) the little toe on my right foot JAMMED into that poured-concrete steel-reinforced door frame.

Now I’m a farm chick and had been attacked by cows several times in my younger years, but godDAMN that hurt. But because I’m a farm chick I played tough for two days until I had to perform some preventative maintenance on one of the 80 pound line printers we had on the OPs floor. As I was lifting the printer from its pos onto the rolling cart the cart rolled. While my boots had reinforced toes my pinkie toe was SIGNIFICANTLY below that reinforcement and that GODdamned wheel on that FUCKING car rolled RIGHT onto my GODdamn sore toe. I do believe that is the one and only time that an injury has dropped me to my knees.

I ended up going to MilMed for a stupid contused toe. I had a PRT two days after that fucking cart incident and a uniform inspection two days after that (heels required) culminating in a fucking two week wimp chit over a fucking CUP OF COFFEE!


That is a very long way of saying that I feel your pain.

Conventional wisdom says that pain is not memorable (women routinely consent to more than one kid, for example) but every time I think of my toe slamming into that wall I wince, and to this day if something wraps around my toes too much I get the willies. No pointy toes for me!

Been there done that… except it was my pinky toe versus a (very) heavy box of books. Poor toe was the color of this guy: :confused: for about a week. :frowning: A few years later, I had my foot x-rayed for something completely non-related and you could see the calcification where the bones had cracked.

Worst part about this kind of injury? You can’t really do much of anything for it, beyond RICE. Can’t tape it against the other toes: that bends it in too much. Can’t tape it to a popsicle stick, that bends the toe too much as well.

Not to mention walking is a new exercise in contortion. You don’t realize how much pressure is put on that toe and how much it moves until suddenly you can’t do much of either to it.

For your trip: play in the snow barefoot! It’ll ice down your toe nicely. :wink:


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OUCH! I swear some toes need seeing eye dogs.

I’ve sprained my ankle six times. Are you sure we’re not related? :wink:

Really? Cuz that’s what my doctor told me to do and my toes healed up quite nicely. Of course I cracked them a few times so they look a little gimped now, but they were just fine taped to the other toes.

Valgard, that sucks that it ruined your weekend plans :frowning: Hope the toe heals well and quickly.

What really sucks is that you didn’t get hurt while actually practicing, but when walking off the mat! At least if you hurt it while sparring you could play it up a little bit, how tough you are for having a “dangerous” sport as a hobby. As it is, you just had issues with walking…

Is that all? Get gout some time, ya pantywaist. Then you’ll know the deep, deep joy that goes with the weight of a veritable bedsheet being too much for the affected member to bear, and you’d gladly have the ailing joint replaced with titanium, right there and then without anaesthetic, if only it meant never having this nagging, insistent, 24/7 sensation of having both bearing surfaces gently carborundumed away.

That’s me, the owner, speaking. My piggy that went to market, however, sends his unfeigned sympathies to your wee-wee-all-the-way-home.

Pull a Ronnie Lott.

Don’t let a little toe keep you from a weekend with your buds.

(If you don’t follow american football – Ronnie Lott is a former safety for the San Francisco 49ers. One year he broke his ring finger, and rather than wait the 6-8 weeks for it to heal, had it chopped off so he wouldn’t miss any of the football season.)

Yup: I tried to tape it down, but it moved the toe too much to the side (or whatever direction) to be effective. Made it worse than leaving it free.

Must be how my feet are configured: sounds like you’ve got ones where you can do that… lucky! :slight_smile:

Could be, I’ve sprained both ankles repeatedly and broken them both at least once.

I don’t consider myself lucky when I’m taping them up, generally I’m cursing at them and wincing before reaching for the pain killers…