Not really a rant, but not something I wanted to start a whole new thread in MPSIMS about…
About two years ago, mom moved out of the house that us kids grew up in. She’d been living there alone since dad died about twenty years ago, and for the last few years it had become more than she could keep up with. So she moved into an apartment in a retirement community.
Mom had been working with a guy who does estate sales and that kind of stuff. He basically takes everything you want to sell, has a big warehouse/showroom that he puts it out in for sale, and he takes a 30% cut of any sales. So we’ve been trying to get the house cleaned out and fixed up a bit so it can be put on the market, and trying to get things boxed up and ready for the estate sale guy to pick up. It’s been hard for me to help out with things, since I live 250 miles away, but I try to get in for a couple of days every few months to try to help out. My brother and sister and their families have done a lot of work getting things done around the house. But they have their own stuff to deal with too, so it’s been kind of a long drawn out affair.
Mom died back at the beginning of February, so now there’s been kind of a big push to get all this stuff taken care of. My sister in law met yesterday with the estate sale guy, who I guess finally came to the house and got everything out.
My sister in law sent us all a short video yesterday of her walking through the house, every room empty, all the stuff gone. It was like a punch to the gut. Up until now I’ve mostly managed to compartmentalize mom’s death - mentally push it off to the side and out of the way. And it’s not like we didn’t know this day was coming, when everything would get moved out of the house – it’s what we’ve slowly been working towards for the last couple years. But with mom’s memorial service coming up this weekend (we did not have a funeral after she died, she donated her body to the med school) and then seeing that video, that just kind of drove everything home in a big way.
Nah, I don’t think she meant anything by it. She’s been a big help with a lot of this stuff. She works from home so she has kind of a flexible schedule. She took mom to a lot of her doctor’s appointments when she was sick. It was basically just a stake in the ground – “here’s where we’re at now.” I think it was as hard on her as anyone else.
Sorry, venting: A few weeks ago, my wife and I got in a huge fight at around 3 in the morning and, as part of that, she wanted to show me what a horrible person I was because I had left some dirty dishes on the stove (It’s not really relevent to the rant but I should think that after working 10 hours, doing the grocery shopping, cooking dinner and setting the table, it’s not too much to expect a non-working partner to clean up). Anyways, she gathered all the dirty dishes in a box, brought them upstairs and threw them on the bed. When the fight ended, she put them all back in the box and took it downstairs where she dropped it in the living room. Unfortunately, rather than clean it, she put a lid on it and let it sit there for three weeks (it looked like any other box in our house so I didn’t think anything about it). A few days ago, I finally noticed it and opened the box which now contained about a half inch of mold and crap growing over everything. Luckily our hot water heater has a “Summer on Mercury” setting which helped sanitize everything. I bet she’s thrilled that she “won” that argument.
Yours too, PHS. The depression is probably much worse than the teeth shifting. Dental issues cause so many health issues, they really should be covered the same as health.
Its possible that I am starting to feel sorry for her. Maybe. The vet did suggest raising the food and water bowls which we have done.
TBH, when Buttercup the dog was finally home, I told her that if she ever did anything like that again I would kill her!!! My BB laughed and said that his mother said the same thing when he jumped off the roof and broke his arm. Love sure is strange at times.
Sheesh, Jynxster. I wanted to scream re your second post because although my interactions weren’t exactly the same, the sheer number of either clueless or don’t-give-a-crap-if-you’re-incapacitated people out there made – and still makes – my blood boil. Good thing I don’t act out my fantasies, IYKWIM.
I never considered insurance when I rented my scooter. The medical supply people never mentioned it either. That weekly $15 rental price said it all.
Mine had a padded “seat” which, if I stayed on it long enough, would start digging into my knee. Took advice from the internets and fashioned a towel-covered pad on it. It still bothered me but not as much as had.
AFAIK they’re not supposed to be used outside. We have dogs, though, and as long as we stuck to the level streets, I could scoot after my husband walking them. I developed a kind of push-off-and-roll with my good foot. I also became VERY aware of potholes, storm drains, tree roots, and any kind of incline. If I couldn’t avoid any of them I’d c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y maneuver the scooter around while on tip toe with my good foot. For a hill, my good foot was the brake. I hated that – I was always petrified of losing control and careening into a vehicle at the bottom :eek:
Inside it was a boon going back-and-forth from the couch to the bathroom Once the pain meds wore off, I could kneel on it and be just high enough at the kitchen counter to prepare a simple meal.
I’m not going to wait as long to rent another one when my other foot is done.
We had to clean out and sell my dad’s house last year when he had to go into assisted living. One of my sisters texted me recently to alert me it was back up on Zillow, completely renovated. Looking at those pictures hurt. Especially the one where they had redone the side porch as a dining room and added a back deck that covered up the spot where the Carolina Allspice bush used to be. That bush came from my grandparents’ house. I tried to get a shoot from it when I was at dad’s last but it died.
My MIL had to sell her house because she no longer could afford the upkeep nor the taxes. My SIL – her middle daughter – did the same thing as your sister did in organizing/donating everything. When the last piece of furniture was moved out and my MIL was supposed to move into her house, she refused to leave. Slept on the floor with a blanket. Cursed and screamed at everybody in the family for forcing her to sell (not true – she’d been planning to do so before my FIL passed). Eventually she passed papers and moved in with my SIL. We have some of her furniture.
The emptiness was too much for my youngest SIL to take since she’d been the only one out of my husband’s 6 siblings to have lived in that house the longest. I have no idea if her reaction was as acute as yours, Shoeless, but it was acute enough for her to ignore the clean-out despite being the one living closest to my MIL.
I spent summers and almost every weekend the rest of the year at my grandma’s house out in the country, and after she died I really wanted to see it one last time. But by then new people had moved in.
Well, I got a chance twenty years later! When a new owner was going to tear it down, the local Historical Society saved the house and trucked it down the road to the Richfield Historical Park. We got to be part of the dedication, and it brought back so many memories as we walked through and spent an entire afternoon answering tourists’ and locals’ questions.
So, Shoeless, I hope you can remember your mom and her house the way they were in their heyday. I’m sitting here crying with affection for all the family gatherings in grandma’s house (Thanksgivings and Sunday Dinners… followed by Sunday nights huddled around her huge radio listening to The Shadow…).
Had a job interview, first I’ve had in months, and I fucked it up out of the gate. It was a long commute so I had to take a tram and two trains, but left loads of time to make sure I wouldn’t be late. I hate being late.
But then the first train was late into the station, I missed the connection, the next one would cut it fine but I’d be okay, except then when I arrived, the old streets, which were on my map and on street view, were gone, replaced by five huge apartment blocks, and I had no idea how to get through them to reach the location. I got totally lost and was 20 minutes late for the interview. Which I never had, they rejected me outright just because of that.
This used to be a recurrent fear for me about when I would get a good job, I never thought it would actually happen to someone. I am so sorry. That sucks hard.
Uggghhh there was a giant dead roach right by my nightstand. I sacked up, and grabbed it in a Kleenex and it was NOT dead and started wriggling and skittering and now I have the heebiest of jeebies. I can’t help but picture dozens of his buddies nearby, right by my head and pillow, and the tactile memory of the crunchy squirming keeps replaying in a disgusting loop, like the touch version of a song stuck in your head.
We’ve been seeing a lot of wolf spiders in the house lately. 1. Dead in the living room. 2. Alive in the living room. 3. Alive in the bathroom! 4. Dead by the nightstand. I’m seeing a pattern here and I don’t like it. :eek:
Got the fridge repaired - no longer raining inside. Even managed to give the walls and floor behind the fridge a good cleaning.
Last night, the garage door opener died.
Dammit.
Considering I was looking at a grand for a new fridge, $200 for a new garage door opener doesn’t sound bad at all.
Reading about grandparent houses - my grandparents’ house was my happy place. I close my eyes, and I can be there again. Unfortunately, it was demolished 15 years ago, to make way for an elder housing community. When I was looking for a new house, I found one that was identical to theirs. Unfortunately, it was not in a neighborhood where I wanted to be, but it was a seriously difficult decision.
Thanks for the supporting thoughts kiz. Much appreciated.
I have another rant but don’t want to get banned for being seen as anti-religious of which I am very much not. I really and truly believe that everyone is entitled to believe/worship who/what they want and I will have much words with those who don’t support it. BUT I also really believe in truth in advertising and when you lie by omission I am seriously unamused. I found a doctor and doctors office that I liked and was super close to home. I had been with them for 6 months. I decided that I was done playing around with short term solutions of not having any jynsterettes running around and wanted to see about getting long term stoppage. They told me that they were a certain flavor of Christianity that didn’t believe in birth control and they wouldn’t prescribe it to me unless my health was being threatened. The WTF train derailed pretty hard in my head. I had NO idea this place was affiliated with ANY religious organization let alone one that seriously opposed a woman’s right to decide what to do with her body. If I had known I wouldn’t have gone to this doctor but no where in their on boarding paperwork or with any of my doctor talks did they tell me about that particular policy. It is their right to practice as they see fit however, I think something like that should be well advertised. I wasted 6 months of building up a relationship with a doctor and now have to start all over. I hadn’t been to a regular doctor for about 10 years because I have had such bad experiences and this time was supposed to be better but now I am right back where I started about not trusting doctors and my anxiety (one of the things I am trying to get under control) is now right back through the roof.
That really sucks, Jynxster. I don’t know where you are located but I was able to get a permanent solution to the problem at a university hospital with a doctor connected to said hospital. I wasn’t “old enough” to meet some criteria and didn’t have kids but they did what I wanted and I only had to swear to them that I really really knew what I was doing about 10 times. This was many years ago (like in the 80s) so maybe things have changed but maybe going to a doctor affiliated with a school might be less likely to have religious leanings. Good luck. And yes, I hope you expressed to this place how disappointed you were in their lack of openness.
There are religion based free clinics in this part of the country. I don’t know their mission statement, but a friend of mine went to get birth control and they refused her. She went to the state operated Health dept. and was immediately put on the pill and offered many other services. She is definitely doesnt need children, anyone who knows her story will tell you this. It pisses me right off that a clinic purportedly is in place to offer assistance and health care to people who have the greatest need could operate with religious spewing clap trap like that. Ugh!
I certainly don’t think it’s anti-religious to expect to receive healthcare at a doctor’s office! In addition to letting them know how [del]fucking pissed off[/del] disappointed you are, you might want to think about giving them some online reviews so other people won’t waste their time at this place.
Once the pain meds wore off, I could kneel on it and be just high enough at the kitchen counter to prepare a simple meal.