I don’t give a fuck about this trial. If you care, great. I don’t. I’ve been trying to stay as ignorant as possible about this crap, but for some reason the media insists on telling me about juror #5 or some shit.
I need a nap.
My guess would be that the media is just dying (no pun intended) for another OJ trial.
But yeah, I don’t really care either.
[Mr. Burns Voice]
Ahoy, ahoy! It sounds like you need more practice with your television set remote control device.
[/Mr. Burns Voice]
I was watching Court TV one day and they had a commercial that said that if you logged onto their website, you could set up your cell phone to receive updates on the trial.
How pathetic do you have to be to do that?
What sickened me was when this trial was featured on Entertainment Tonight.
A man is accused of murdering his pregnant wife… this is “entertainment”? What, is he being defended by Perry Mason? Will America get to be a “dial in jury”? When the foreman announces “we’ve reached a verdict” is there going to be a freeze frame as the credit’s roll and we’ll all have to wait three months for the next episode? If acquitted will there be a “He’s single ladies… and you can console him” reality show (who wants to marry an acquitted murderer?) Sheezus.
Of course OJ and JonBenet were also on ET in their time. Running Man may not be quite that futuristic after all.
The bride who was pregnant and died
Or the doubt while the jury is out
You can see it on every TV
That’s entertainment!
Scott’s beard, and his dyed hair was weird,
And his dames, who stood up and named names
The cement—wonder where it all went?
That’s entertainment!
The plot is real hot, simply teeming with sex
Made-up Satanists who were briefly suspects—
The boat with tiny blood flecks,
And everyone dishing,
'bout Christmas evening fishing.
Court TV is just brimming with glee:
“This display, the best since Jon-Benet!”
Say a prayer that the guy gets the chair—
The world is a crime,
And crime is a world of entertainment!
There you go again Eve, exerting yourself for no good reason. 
[sup]Did you say you were lazy or crazy?[/sup]
Try living here.
Oh, preach it! My wife and MiL insist on watching Greta Van Susteren every fucking night to keep abreast of the latest developments. Now I wouldn’t mind so much if they spent 5 minutes going over what happened that day, but the rest of the hour is nothing but speculation and opinion. Get the goddamn thing over with already! I swear, if I ever meet this jurir #5 bitch…
Juror #5? Juror #5? Oh heaven’s sake, what ever did #5 do?
Seriously, I’ve heard headlines, what’s the big effin’ deal?
Well, the verdict is coming at 1:00 PST, which is ten minutes from this posting, so it’ll soon all be over but the crying.
Note: they’ve stated “verdict”, which I believe means it is not a mistrial. We’ll see.
Unless we get to listen to years of appeals.
Guilty!
Guilty motherfucker!! Yes!
Our radio’s crackly - in the first degree?
Yep, first for the wife, second for the child.
That’s an odd verdict.
Praise G-d it’s over. I live just south of Redwood City and the whole damn thing has been inescapable.
I can’t belive that sordid little tale stayed in the headlines over the last election. Even Gary Condit fell out of the news after 9/11.
"Into the courtroom my trial began,
where I was judged by twelve honest men
Yes, as the jury started walkin’ out,
I saw that little judge commence to look about
In about five minutes then walked a man,
holding the verdict in his right hand
The verdict read in the first degree,
I shouted Lordy Lordy please have mercy on me"*
*“Cocaine Blues”