Originally posted by Coldfire
*Originally posted by tdn *
And not even then. Unless you both want me very angry.
You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
Actually, she’s even cute when she’s angry. 
OK, I’ll go now, before the Pit crowd beats me to a bloody pulp.
No, but satan is.
Cite?
Well, yeah, but we get to vote him out of the White House next year.
I bet BoiToi does.
Esprix
To some that would no doubt be a cite for sore eyes.
I have no idea what that means.
I think Heloise should be accredited with coming as close as humanly possible to “converting” a gay guy, wouldn’t you say so, Esprix?
Much to my chagrin… 
Esprix
Hey, now, I’d like to point out that if not for my “Tittie Intervention”, SkipMagic and Homebrew might be cuddled up on a couch somewhere, enjoying toast together.
Or a loaf.
Okay okay okay, heh, don’t fucking shoot me… it was just too good to pass up.
Hold on to your saddle there, Bonanza Jellybean, and stop trying to buck the truth. I mean, hell, I was never gay and–what’s even better–you put out.
Face it: I was an easy sell.
Although, damn! What a toaster!
Was real. Was
I accidentally called him to earth while reading a potent tome of Kabbalah I had bought at a flea market.
The flaming eyes, horns, and cloven hooves did not surprise me.
The fact that he was chewing his own cud did.
As luck would have it, I had been sharpening my kosher slaughtering knife.
Before the Evil One could react, I made a single, swift cut.
I checked and rechecked the halacha. I called a few rabbis.
Long story short-
The Devil is not in the details, He’s in my freezer.
I call sig line!
A sig line! I’d like to thank the academy, Uncle Cecil, and the makers of Mountain Dew.
Free the Gizmonics Five!
Of course Satan’s real. How else can we account for boy bands, spam and Jim Carrey?
What gets me is when they say “I’ll pray for you.” Its their way of saying “You’re not a christian so you’re going to hell. I’m better than you, but I’ll take time out to ask for lord for forgiveness.” Well fuck you. I don’t need anybody praying for me. You go ahead and pray to yourself if it makes you feel better, but don’t pretend you’re on the moral highground.
Mmmmmm… de-veal.
I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. De-Veal!