I would rant against my parents for sending me to this cesspool, but I’ve done enough of that verbally as a child. Now it’s time to formally let out my rage against the institution itself.
Fuck you, Crème de la Crème! I spent two years in your shithole, and I’m pissed. More than a decade later the anger still resides within me- I cried myself to sleep many nights in elementary school while thinking back on you worthless pieces of shit. Here are some methods of how NOT to rear a child that you whores of Satan practiced-
Do not, unless Janet Reno was doing a strip show, make little children sleep face down for naptime! It’s hard to breathe! And giving kids time out for violating this! Fuck you cunts! One cannot sleep when their face is buried in the fabric. And it’s just bizarre not allow them to turn their head aside, in order to achieve better breathing. Common fucking sense that eludes your common fucking policy. Fuck you with a steaming hot iron bar until it comes out of your bile spewing throats!
You cannot teach the French language to children who do not wish to learn it. It simply doesn’t work. I haven’t retained a single word of French from your daft lessons. It’s a waste of fucking funds.
After wetting the cots at naptime, do NOT let the other children crowd around the hapless child and insult them relentlessly. Numerous times after pissing my cot in your wretched nap time (refer to number 1) I was changed in the open, with crowds of children arbitrarily surrounding me. Why?! I didn’t deserve to be ridiculed for the rest of the day of bodily function of small children, much less one procured by being forced to sleep face down.
I don’t know if it’s some strange, state mandated policy, but watching little kids go to the bathroom is just really damned weird. And making boys sit on the toilet, regardless of body function, is just uncouth. No stall doors, and people just gazing at you…totally fucking unnerving.
Two years of my childhood I spent in this festering helldom. This daycare has been featured on numerous prime time television shows as being excellent- bullshit! You don’t know how many times as a child I fantasized about that citadel of weird policies burning to a pile of mere cinders!
Once again- another hearty fuck you!
Disclaimer: I apologize to any employees of this establishment that have not been involved in these practices. And yes, I realize there are worse things in the world than going to a shitty ass day care for two years, like spending a time in one of Romanian’s communist day cares. However, I just had to let this out.
You ever see that Disney movie “Aristocats”? That’s what I thought you were talking about when I opened this thread. Oh well, at least I’m the first to post a reply (for once in my life).
I thought of it recently after seeing the phrase in another thread. It inspired me to finally write out my loathing for the place. I’d been intending to do it every since middle school. Had to get it out of my system, so to say.
At my preschool, I was frequently, (and often inexplicably,) bare-bottom spanked by a long-haired, tie-died-skirt-wearin’, VW microbus-wearin’, spectacled matron by the name of Ms. Wisheart, the experience of which provided me with ample fodder for decades of strangely erotic nightmares.
And we had to nap face down on un-individuated woolen blankets which didn’t smell right at all. (I’ve always hated wool, though. Maybe they were sanitary.)
The spanking that stands out the most is the one that I received for getting water on the floor while playing with needle-less hypodermic syringes and an aquarium full of water and plastic boats. On reflection, that alone seems unfair to me now, but at the time what stuck in my craw was that it was the other kid who got all the water on the floor, before we’d changed places.
Cussed sexy hippie woman, slapping my ass all the time. It only turned pink for a little bit, I’m sure, but I still wake up sweating and, uh, uncomfortable.
*Hey I was just a skinny lad
Never knew no good from bad
But I knew love before I left my nursery
Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny
Heap big woman you made a bad boy out of me
Hey hey!
*