Fuck You "Dad"

The BBQ Pit
1

Fuck you “dad”
Every time someone says I look like you
Fuck you “dad”
For marrying my mother
Fuck you “dad”
For already being married when you married my mother
Fuck you “dad”
For already being married with a kid when you married my mother
Fuck you “dad”
For making my mother leave you
Fuck you “dad”
For leaving us dirt poor
Fuck you “dad”
For zero cards, calls, visits, or money
Fuck you “dad”
For making my mother go hungry so I could eat
Fuck you “dad”
For me being malnourished
Fuck you “dad”
For making my mother’s already unstable mental condition more unstable
Fuck you “dad”
For my mother beating the shit out of me
Fuck you “dad”
For my mother ending up in a mental institution
Fuck you “dad”
For me ending up in foster care
Fuck you “dad”
For me ending up in foster care before I could speak
Fuck you “dad”
For me running away before I could add or subtract
Fuck you “dad”
For me shitting my pants until I was 8
Fuck you “dad”
For my chronic depression
Fuck you “dad”
For my 2 suicide attempts
Fuck you “dad”
For the 2 times we met, one by accident, one by me searching you out
Fuck you “dad”
For calling me son on those 2 times
Fuck you “dad”
For your wife of the time calling me son
Fuck you “dad”
Every time someone says I look like you

But the biggest Fuck you is that I’ve become a good person. Good enough to say this is the last Fuck you and that this is all finally behind me. Now I’m ready to be son to you in all the ways you were not a father to me.

2

Deadbeat parents should be sterilized.

I’m glad to hear things have worked out okay overall, do you have any contact with your mother at all?

3

Good man.

4

Every time I hear about this type of situation, it strengthens my resolve to be a good father to my kids.

Thank you, TomSlick.

5

Am I the only one who thinks this should be printed up on a nice hallmark card and sent to his dad on Fathers Day?

6

To live well is the best revenge of all. I don’t even know your dad and I’m getting mad at him. :eek:

7

I got all teary eyed reading that list. It was so sad.

8

Each of us in life has two chances to experience parenting.

Once when we’re a child, and once we have children of our own.

The best revenge is a life well lived. Good luck with the rest of your life!

9

You have my total sympathy, Tom. My so-called father was at least as bad as yours, in different ways. I had a whole list of ‘fuck you’ reasons that I wanted to say to him someday, but I didn’t speak to him for more than 20 years after he gleefully wrecked my life, and now he’s dead. At least he can’t wreck anybody else’s life from where he is now. I wish you the best in your life, and hope that you can make the kind of transition to successful, productive adult that your father was incapable of. I did it. It’s hard. But nobody hates me.

10

On the flipside -

If you had normal parents and they did the best they could, and chances are you were the one that was fucked up: Make it right before it’s too late.

11

Thank you everyone for the kind words and support.

My mother and I reconciled a few years ago. I left graduate school to take care of her when she got cancer for the 2nd time. I haven’t gone back to school as of yet, due to a 3rd bout with cancer and my now stepfather having a brain tumor.

This is my single resolution in life. To be a good father and husband.

12

Thank You Tom.

Your post really made me appreciate my dad.

You sound like you are well on your way to being a good dad and husband.

.

13

I hope that you will add to that to make it up to yourself for all of the lack of nurturing that you didn’t get as a kid. Be good to yourself too, Tom

You sound very grounded to me! I can hear your strength.

14

Thank you Zoe.

To be honest with you, I don’t how to. How does one nurture oneself? I’ve become good at taking care of others and nuturing others, but myself, that is hard.

What I’ve decided to do is surround myself with few good people and allow them to care for me, while I care for them. It’s easier for me to think about other people than myself. So that’s the game plan for now until I can figure out the self nurturing thing.

15

Tom, is your dad bearded and balding, in his early 60’s and a hard drinker?

'Cause he sounds a lot like MY dad…

16

tom , I had an asshole stepfather from 9-19 and I always swore that I was gonna kill that motherfucker when I got old/big enough for what he did to my mom as I looked on, helpless. and to this day my mother has issues about my lingering hatred of her choice to marry that son of a whore.

they divorced the year after I joined the navy.

I’m 42 now and having no contact with “Dave” for twenty years was a good thing till that fucker just happen to be on the other end of the line when I answered the phone at my mom’s house one day two years ago…

It was a fucking high for me to talk to him with respect and let him call me “son” for the few minutes it took to lay out all the cards.

“Dave” was a fuckin wife and child beating, alcoholic, ex-military gun nut.

Dave is dead and my final memories are of him crying and blubbering about how fucking sorry he was for fucking up my life.

the last thing he heard from me was something along the lines of " i’m a man now dave, and I let you go a long time ago "…

17

Oh, my paternal father died in 1976 when I was 13.