Dear sirs,
While I appreciate the tenacity it may have required to create a batch of ad-ware so goddamned insidious, I’d like to take a moment to remind you that if it is ever within my power to sodomize you using a pool cue with razorblades glued to it, I will.
Oh, the programming prowess it must have required! Not only to infect my computer with your Ezula ad-ware, but also to create a rule that allows it to propagate over and over, even after it’s been deleted! I, for one, tip my hat to you. And I’d like to point out that someday, some way, I will find the best way to thank you for the countless hours I spent cleaning up my hard drive. Perhaps this can best be accomplished using a chair, some rope, a rabid weasel, and LOTS AND LOTS OF TIME TO CONTEMPLATE YOUR SINS.
And the fact that you randomly turn text on web pages into hyperlinks, leading me to your craptacular search engine! Exquisite! Please, I simply cannot WAIT to thank you. Please e-mail me your name, address, phone number, times when you will be at home with your alarm system deactivated, and greatest personal fears to me immediately, and I promise you’ll receive a surprise like no other – free of charge!
I will do my level best to continue to keep you in my heart and mind, as the joy you’ve brought me dreaming of your ultimate eradication has kept me warm on many a cold night.
Someday, I promise you will receive the rewards you so richly deserve. Perhaps in prison, at the end of the trouser trout of a large man who has only seen computers on the “talking picture box” in the general assembly room. I will pray and dream of this day.
In the meantime, have a very merry holiday season, and please fall into a manhole and die painfully at some point in the coming year.
Sincerely,
Chastain86