Fuck you P.T. Anderson

The BBQ Pit
1

** Lame Rant to Follow but Boy Am I Pissed **

I just rented “Punch Drunk Love”, a movie I have been looking forward to seeing for some time. I am not generally a fan of Adam Sandler, but I had heard this was an interesting departure from his usual comic tone. I rented it, but I have not seen it. Nor, does it appear, will I.

I put in the DVD and I am given a menu that gives me choices such as ‘Blossoms and Blood’, ‘Scopitones’, and ‘Mattress Man Commercial’. None of these seems to give me any results but strange and disjointed bits of scenes followed by a return to the main menu. Likewise I highlight the words ‘Punch Drunk Love’. Same story, no dialogue, title credits or story is in evidence. So I ask where is the actual film? Not the director’s arty addition but the fucking movie itself.

Look PT Anderson I get it. You are arty, unusual, you even quote a positive review given in French. But I hate you even more now than I did after trying to get through Magnolia. Is it too much to ask that you give an option that says ‘Play’? How bout scene selection?

If you insist on doing this perhaps you should give out a key of some sort. I swear its a good thing you don’t write computer code. I can just see you explaining how sound your reasoning is. I would click to save my work and have to decide which of the following phrases stores my work for later use. Is it:

Floating Sewage Monkey?
Happy Garden Shrew?
Naked Hoffman Surprise?
Mutton Shortcake?

I want my $4.50 back from my rental because I sure as hell am not going to wade through those assbackwards choices again. For future reference a menu is a utilitarian guide. Please save your artistic pretensions for the actual film.

2

It’s a 2 disc movie. You put the wrong disc in. Did the rental not have 2 discs?

3

What John said. Blame your video store (it wasn’t Ballbuster was it?).

P.S. Punch Drunk Love is a great move with real emotional wallop. Adam Sandler is wonderful (!?) as a man full of repressed rage on verge of either a. redemption through the love of a beautiful woman or b. a complete psychological breakdown. I don’t think it’s completely obvious which way he’s headed although I’m sure many others would disagree. Sandler’s usual fans will hate this movie with a passion. I loved it.

4

That would be a resounding NO to the two discs. Perhaps I should lay off Mr. Anderson and switch my wrath to Blockbuster. Boy do I feel stupid, but then again I had no way of knowing considering I only got one of the discs.

5

You’re not stupid, Ballbuster is hella-stupid. How fucked up do they have to be to forget the disc that has the damn movie?

Loved the movie, but I did think that the extras were a bit bizarre.

6

I loved Punch-Drunk Love. Now I want to get a DVD player so I can watch those extras.

7

Oh shit!

For a microsecond there, I thought I was getting my very own Pitting!

Never mind. :wink: