Fuck You, State of North Carolina: A non-cleansing rant

The BBQ Pit
1

First, some background. I am a substitute teacher, aka “mercenary.” I make $75 a day (half of that for half days). I make this much because I have an actual, valid teaching license. Compound this with the fact that I have yet to work a full five-day week and one realizes that I be po’.

I fill out my state and federal taxes today. I give the forms to my dad to check over. He punches the numbers and they come up to my disadvantage. My federal forms are okay; I’m not too happy with the way they worked out, but at least I don’t owe them anything. The state forms however…

I made less than $2000 last year. The state took out $18. I owe them $93.

:mad: What. :mad: The. :mad: Fuck. :mad: Is. :mad:This.:mad:

Is THIS how we treat our residents, State of North Carolina? By taxing the people who CAN’T EFFING AFFORD IT? I hope you shitfuckers in Raleigh enjoy your ill-gotten gains as you delay and argue and fart around instead of getting anything done. I didn’t vote for any of you assmunches. I made a distinct point of voting AGAINST each and every one of you in my district because you fucked with the teacher’s salaries a couple of years ago.*

Is THIS how we treat hopeful teachers who want to get permanent teaching jobs here, State of North Carolina? You are heading for SOL country with teachers, what with the retiring and the burning out and the crappy treatment and the people leaving for better jobs and the hey-hey-hey. Be nice to me, people, I can corrupt your children. And I will. Yes I will.**

Roast in hell, State of North Carolina. Eat shit and die. I hate you and all you stand for. Tell me, did you immediately sell your souls to Satan, or did you negotiate and bargain with him first? The last panel of this comic almost got included with my tax forms. I nearly filled out the check “Bloodsucking Soulless Leeches” except you wouldn’t cash it. I almost filled out a lot of things on that check, except they would have set the paper on fire.

Be nice to me, State of North Carolina. You need me more than I need you. I know about the reciprocal teaching agreement, and I have friends in those states who are willing to help me get settled there. I’d tell you to get your asses in gear and actually DO SOMETHING instead of bitching about who’s in charge, but then I remember that the General Assembly is evenly divided between Asses and Pachyfucks and you’ll use that as an excuse to fart around during this session. I want you all very, very dead.
*A couple of years ago the General Assembly was too busy bitching about minutiae in the budget to give the teachers their bonus checks (for exemplary schools, signing bonuses, etc.) until fuckin’ NOVEMBER. Wanna talk about bitter? Yeah.

** To those of you who live in North Kakalakee: Thank you for paying my pittance. In gratitude, I won’t corrupt your children, just the spawn of the numbnuts in Raleigh.

2

The taxes here would be slightly less pit worthy if “The Good Road State” ACTUALLY HAD GOOD ROADS. The good news is, with all the bad weather this winter, they’re going to have repave them, so hopefully they’ll widen them in the process (yea, right.)
FWIW, my biggest NC State tax return has been $8.00. I think I have one for $0.12 lying around here somewhere. . .

3

Sortta curious. That works out to between one and two months work. What income did you earn from other jobs last year?

4

Take two:

From January to May I was student teaching. The Ed department wouldn’t let me have another job unless I was an R.A. From May to July I watched my nephew for almost nothing. I got my current job in September and average about three days of work a week. So my income from all my jobs was about $350 for subbing a couple of days for my clinical teacher during my student teaching and the rest from my mercenary work. Sad, no?

Cisco, “Good Road State?” It is to laugh.

5

Well, the N&O has been doing its usual thing with pointing out how much the state’s General Fund has been taking from the Highway Trust Fund, Cisco. That may have something to do with it.

And yes, I completely agree with you on the tax burden of the state being improperly distributed – although Lib may have some more insight into that.

6

You said $2000 dollars right? You don’t even have to file. Why did you? Sounds like you screwed yourself.

7

I wasn’t given a choice. I still live with my parents.

8

So your parents screwed you.

9

Damn you straight into the fieriest pits of the fieriest hell for putting that image in my head. Be ashamed of yourself!

10

You post a rant about how the State of NC screwed you on your taxes when the state didn’t even require you to file a return? Now you damn me to hell for pointing out that the state gave you a free pass to get off with the $18 you paid in through the year?
Please don’t come teach in Indiana. You aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed.

11

Why do you have to file? If your earned income is less then $3,000 you don’t need to file a return even if you are a dependent of another. I think that you and your dad must be figuring something wrong.

http://www.dor.state.nc.us/downloads/D401_2002.pdf

Look at the chart on the bottom of page three.

12

Please reread the post I previously quoted. Please be LITERAL about it. Please insert an appropriate winking smiley. And then please to be apologizing for insulting me.

13

It is quite expensive to have a state government. Why, the office space alone costs a fortune because states procure nails only if they conform to 27-page descriptions. And then there are the staffs of attorneys, the upkeep and maintenance of gigantic edifices, personnel to man the many ancilliary branch offices, phones, motorcars, helicopters, mansions, day-care subsidies, corporate welfare, state parks at rest areas, and so on and so on and so on… where else can you get all that for a measly hundred bucks?

14

That could be the problem. My dad’s state forms and booklet haven’t come in the mail yet, so he hasn’t had time to go over them thoroughly yet. I haven’t mailed the forms yet because I’m trying to convince my dad I don’t need to. He has a misplaced sense of honesty.

15

According to my NC tax booklet, she must file a return if she can be claimed as a dependent and (presuming she’s single) any one of the following apply:
> She has over $500 in unearned income.
> She has over $3000 in earned income
> Her gross income is more than the larger figure of $500 or her earned income plus $250.

16

What does that mean? I’m completely confused by tax forms and booklets.

17

The link I gave you is the current year state booklet. If you look at the chart I mentioned or the Startdard Deduction Worksheet for Dependents I think you will see that you won’t owe anything even if you do file.

By the way, I think that you should say you are sorry to the State of North Carolina since they aren’t really going to be taxing you. :slight_smile:

18

Geez, SpazCat, don’t you realize that you’re a “lucky ducky” who really should be paying more in taxes so you’ll hate the goverment more?

19

Let’s see. The “shitfuckers” in NC provide for you not to even file because they know if you don’t make alot of money $98 could be alot to you. But they are “shitfuckers”. You aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed shitfucker.

20

They’re so cute when they use profanity.