You’re a pain in the fucking arse. Here’s the story. I’m one of the few people who don’t have a Twitter account. But now I’m avidly watching the new Twin Peaks I figure I’ll set one up in order to follow David Lynch, Twin Peaks and other interesting stuff.
I begin the process. I already know Twitter is fucking intrusive, demanding your real name, etc, one of he things that put me off before. OK, I bite the bullet and go through all the rigmarole like having to untick 40 fucking pathetic suggestions for people to follow. No, Twitter won’t leave the boxes blank, they tick them for you and it’s up to you to go through unticking them. Well, that was fun but I’m finally done.
I have a Twitter account I can use! FOR ABOUT THREE FUCKING MINUTES! Then up comes a message that my account has been locked. Twitter demands my cellphone number. OK, you fuckers, I’ll give it to you. But hang on, my Iphone is in for repairs, won’t be ready till next week. (Don’t ask, it got waterlogged.) Ah well, I’ll use my landline. No, that’s impossible, says Twitter, we don’t recognize landline numbers. We need to call you on your cellphone to give you the code to unlock your account.
Fuck you, Twitter. Fuck your stupid security measures. Give them to those who want them. I just want to follow David Lynch, you miserable assholes. I don’t need fucking security, if I want it then I’ll fucking ask for it. You’re as bad as fucking Apple. All of you want to know everything about me before I can tweet or make a damn phone call.
Enough, the rant is over. I’m sure I’ll be back next week, cap and cellphone in hand, to get my super-secret code so enemy agents won’t spy on me following Lynch. There was a lot wrong with the past but there was one thing very right. You didn’t have every asshole on the planet demanding you identify yourself every fucking moment and trying to squeeze all your personal information out of you.
You never have to give your real name and I have no idea where you came up with that. Facebook forces that and it’s one of the reasons I avoided it…until I set up my fake name facebook account. I have never used my real name. When it comes to who to follow? You can untick the box at the top and it undoes all that. I never have anyone automatically followed.
Yeah, the cellphone thing is a pain, but it’s their attempt to cut down on bots. You give it, they verify, and then you delete it off your account. Make sure to unallow anyone to find you by phone or email when you set up the account. Your situation is unique because your phone was in repair, but most people using twitter have it handy or are even signing up from the phone.
I often feel like an agent of twitter when I bother to log in here, but it’s so frustrating seeing the misinformation and vitriol over a simple social network which can be fun to use and provide up to the minute news. I’ve spoken to people all over the world, made real life friends, had a little insta-celebrity fame, and been exposed to ideas and perspectives I’d never considered. Or hadn’t considered enough.
Helpful hints!
USE LISTS. If your TL is cluttered, make lists of your different interests and switch between those.
TURN OFF QUALITY FILTER. I don’t care about your algorithms and want my TL to display tweets in the order they are posted and from anyone I follow.
NIGHT MODE IS LIFE. Self explanatory.
THREAD YOUR TWEETS. Post a tweet and reply to THAT tweet so all replies are connected and people can click on any one to see them all.
HAVE TWO ACCOUNTS. Public and locked private. I have more than two, but it’s because my first received a lot of attention and I insanely was following everyone back. That gets nuts at around 5,000 or so.
BE NICE TO CELEBRITIES. They are people and many will reply back, maybe even accidentally sending you a spoiler pic of an upcoming episode.
BLOCK AND MUTE. I prefer to mute since no one has any clue you have done it and I enjoy the idea of someone screaming at me impotently while having no idea I don’t “hear” it. However, I’ll also block like it’s my job and move on.
I like Tweetdeck if I’m trying to follow a lot of action (like during the health care fight/debate, I was trying to keep my eye on a lot of moving pieces).
Tweetdeck is awesome! That’s how I follow my different lists without switching back and forth, or even follow lists created by others. I added the Tweeten extension to chrome which makes tweetdeck run more smoothly.
For the uninitiated - Tweetdeck allows you to place all your accounts together. Yes, the app does that too, but you have to switch back and forth to reply, RT, etc from different accounts. Using tweetdeck, you can do all that immediately. You can RT or post a single tweet from all your accounts at the same time.
Other hints! I turned off read notifications on DMs because I hate people poking me to reply if they see I’ve read their message. I also have open DMs for anyone, even if I don’t follow them. It’s made for some very interesting DMs from people I was shocked noticed me, but don’t want to follow many accounts. Group DMs are great for sending info to a bunch of people at once. Oh! Lists can be locked/made private if you don’t want anyone to know you keep updated on the developments of teen supernatural soap operas.
In settings, go to Push Notification (which is what it says in android, nit sure if different for iPhone) and uncheck just about everything. I leave Direct Messages and Mentions on, that’s it. If not, you’ll get a notification every damn time something happens. Also, turn off ALL email notifications. I have no idea why anyone would want those.
If you want to know as soon as a certain person has tweeted? Go to their account and click on the bell. As soon as they tweet you’ll be notified. That’s how people are right there when the Donald spews something.
If someone you follow RTs too much nonsense? Go to their account and turn RTs off. Some people RT great stuff. Others it becomes spam. It’s your TL to have look however you wish.
I never had to give my cellphone number when I signed up for Twitter, have they changed things? Do they have an alternative for people who don’t have cellphones – if so, use that.
I’m not sure if a twitter account is the right thing for you, OP.
It hinges on how literally you define “follow”. You don’t need a twitter account read the tweets of your chosen twitterers; an account is only useful if you mean to “follow” in the sense of being notified at each inane burble and brainfart they spray onto their feed. If immediacy isn’t a real need, I certainly wouldn’t get an account. Just read their tweets after the fact. On the website, I guess, since the stupid app is just a tarpit to drag you into the whole moronic twitter-mire.
I use my cellphone to scan the TL and for quick replies. The vast majority of the time I’m using my computer.
I’m not sure there is a way to sign up with out a cellphone and yes, this is a newer change. Previously it wasn’t asked for at all, then it moved to where you could decline and that was it. Now, even if you decline, your account will be locked until you confirm via cellphone.
Aren’t you a delight! By doing as you propose, you have to go to the individual accounts of each person to randomly check if they have posted anything which seems much more a waste of time than randomly checking your feed when you feel like it or getting notifications.
I find twitter to by far more timely and informative than many places, including here if I am to be honest. I enjoy coming here to read up on news events…but it usually gets posted here about 12 hours or more after I’ve seen it on twitter lately, and I’ve read all the hot take and more nuanced views.
I don’t just read, I interact, much like a message board. It’s really no different which is why the contempt shown on the sdmb often surprises me.
The whole thing about requiring a cell phone is bullshit. It shuts out anyone who doesn’t have a cell phone, which, while maybe not a lot of people, still is a decent amount. It leaves out people who don’t want to give our their cell number, or want to be able to have accounts that aren’t connected in any way.
And everyone is doing it. It’s supposed to make spam better in Gmail. So why then has SPAM detection started to completely suck? Gmail was the one place where I didn’t have to worry about spam. Now notifications that I signed up for from various accounts get spammed. Heck, even sometimes YouTube’s own notifications get sent to spam!
And it’s not like the actual spam has changed or gotten more sophisticated. It’s still just as obvious as before. So they had a system that works and fucked it up.
The rest is just Twitter and how it works. But requiring a phone number is just stupid. Yeah, Twitter. We want you to be able to track everyone, linking Tweets to real people. And, yes, you really do get rid of the number if I tell you to get rid of it.