Fuck you work and your [possible] homophobia

I am extremely pissed at my job right now so I apologize in advance for how badly constructed this post probably will be.

Back story: I moved to [insert small new England state] about a year ago with my fiance and had difficulty finding a job for awhile. I finally found part time work at a Salvation Army but even though I’ve always wanted to work at a thrift store, it turned out to be the worst job I have ever had (carting giant pieces of furniture from a warehouse, through the huge store, outside into the snow and icy ground, into a sedan half the furniture’s size, and all for minimum wage. WEE.) Finally I found a position at a hotel open up in the next city over and luckily got the job.

I like my job, don’t get me wrong but they make a lot of decisions that I disagree with, especially how they treat my fellow employees. I work the 3rd shift so I am able to avoid the drama and keep my mouth shut most of the time.

A lot of the problems stem from the management. The day I got out of training I came in to work to discover the manager’s office was empty. They had transferred our managers some where else in the company and now our sister property two doors down (which has the better brand name, is full-service, and got multi-million dollars worth of repairs and updates last year) would be managing us. That is TWO managers to run two 200+ room hotels. Did I mention we are next to an airport and get a LOT of business from airlines and groups? Our GM whom I have only seen twice and entirely ignored me the first time I met her. Our AGM is a decent guy that I have warmed up to overtime and I have more respect for him because he will actually work a desk shift (he’ll bitch, but he does it.)

During the last 5-6 months we have gone through 4 employees on the 3-11 shift. The first one was slowly forced out mostly because our Accounting/Human Resources cunt didn’t like her. The 2nd was an idiot that would call out during her first week for stupid things like “a leg infection” that prevented her from leaving the house but later that day she came by to get her paycheck. The 3rd left to go find the children her husband was hiding after she sent them to some south American country to spend the week with him. Then a 2-3 weeks ago they hired a girl who is the best friend of one of our desk clerks. She got through training well and we all had high hopes for her but then one of those door-to-door magazine groups stayed here. They treated her so badly and said such horrible/offensive/sexual things to her that she quit on her first night out of training.

Current: As soon as I found this out from my AGM I immediately told me fiance. He has been managing/driving for a national pizza chain. His boss is an asshole, gives preferential treatment to employees that are also Indian, makes people do personal errands for him, and we just found out is being sued by former employees. He decided to take over driving shifts so now my fiance only has 20 or less hours per week and is the most of anyone there. We can’t survive without him getting some sort of stable income (which is the only reason he stuck with this job this long), especially since we are moving into a new place in 2 weeks.

I bring home an application for my fiance to fill out, with my AGM’s approval. A few days later they have an interview and it goes really well. My fiance hasn’t done hotel work but speaks Spanish, is great with computers, and great with people as well. He is more qualified than half the people who have come through here. He leaves it with my fiance as he is basically hired but the cold cunt in the pantsuit (err, my GM, whatever) needs final approval. Does she meet with him? No. So this is all based on his application, as she can only fairly do. We get a call a day later than the AGM promised telling us that the GM feels the need to call corporate about my fiance getting hired.

Now I get from an outside perspective this might seem reasonable, having a couple in the workplace can be awkward. But I am pissed for numerous reasons:

  1. She said the issue was that we are a couple living together. If we were just dating would this matter? Or even engaged but not living together? This has never been stated to us before and I wonder if they can say that a coworker couldn’t move in with me. MOST OF ALL our accounting/human resources woman (whom can adjust off any money taken in our out of the hotel, as well as anyone
    s time card) got her live in boyfriend (as possibly fiance, they say they want to get married but I haven’t seen a ring or anything) a job here and now her brother. How is this fair?

  2. She said the other problem was is that as the night auditor I balance the money for the day. I don’t know if any of you are or have had this position but my abilities are VERY limited. I have the same access level as everyone else and everything we do is logged in the system with our name and the time. I can’t access the safe, just the drawer that EVERYONE ELSE HAS ACCESS TO ON THEIR SHIFT AND HAS TO BE COUNTED AND SIGNED IN AND OUT. My job is essentially the same as the day or afternoon shift but I check to make sure the system/day is in balance, I print out a bunch of forms, and then plug in data to a spreadsheet. The spreadsheet that is checked and altered by, you guessed it, the Accounting/Human Resources woman. The audit also used to be done by my friend at the front desk who was dating the van driver/houseman for over a year.

  3. We are desperate for another front desker, no one is applying, and by giving the rest of us more shifts it is bleeding them overtime. He is quickly trainable, he gets along with me obviously and 1 out of the 2 women that work on staff invited us both over for Easter dinner and LOVES both of us. He’s clean cut, did a great interview, and can speak Spanish which NO ONE ON THE FRONT DESK OR MANAGEMENT CAN. Did I mention most of our housekeeping staff fucks up because they don’t understand the English instructions we pass on to them?

  4. As previously mentioned the accounting/human resource bitch (whom NO ONE likes because she tattles, back stabs, is condescending, will blame her mistakes on you even though she is easily proved wrong in the system, and seems to be doing all this to get higher in the company. Perfect for our human resources department!) has both her brother and her boyfriend working here, both of which had no experience for their position and a girl was forced out of the bar to give her brother the job. My friend at the front desk also worked with her boyfriend. Oh, did I mention I am a guy and my fiance is as well? So far that seems to be the only difference.

I hate to play the “discrimination card” but all signs seem to be pointing to that and I wasn’t even the one to notice first or point it out. Both women left at the front desk brought this to my attention and are actually hoping that they say no so that I can take Accounting/Human Resources bitch and/or the company down.

Right before I came into work tonight my fiance got a call from the AGM. He gave him a polite no with essentially no reason. Where should be take this? Is this worth saying something about or fighting? If they have a policy against this sort of situation, that’d be fine but why is A/H bitch allowed to get away from it when she is actually in a place of power which is much worse. It’s too recent for me to think clearly but I am pissed and just wanted to get this out of my system. Thanks for anyone who bothers to read this ridiculously long rant…

You’d need to find out two things…

First, is there a law in your state prohibiting workplace discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation? Most states don’t have sexual orientation provisions in their anti-discrimination law.

Second, if the state does, is there an exception for churches/religious organizations?

Unless there is such a law and there is no such exception, your boyfriend is probably legally out of luck. That’s still not to say that he can’t make a big deal with the media or something, if that’s what he wants to do, but I don’t think he has a legal recourse.

Of course, I’m not a lawyer, and this isn’t legal advice, it would be foolish to take anything I say seriously (which is generally true), and I recommend you contact an employment attorney in your state for information and advice.

So there should be some other hotels in the area, right? And it sounds like there is a shortage of acceptable employees in the vicinity.

So get your resume up-to-date (including your experience here, including night auditor) and start going around to the other hotels. And take his resume with, too. Hiring 2 people at once, one of them with experience, will be real attractive to some other hotel’s HR person.

But your current job sounds like a shitty place to work – why would you want him to work there also?

Thank you Captain Amazing. I definitely don’t want to do or even say anything before doing that research. I just didn’t even know if it seemed valid and wanted to get more opinions. I am not sure about my state but the whole New England area is known for having the more pro-gay laws.

I live in a state with one of the worst unemployment rates in the country (I don’t know why I am bothering with the pretense, it’d be so easy to figure out my exact hotel based on like 4 things I have said. :p), so most hotels aren’t hiring. I want to be the night auditor, I really disliked the times in the past I have worked other shifts, and that shift is rarely ever in need at a hotel.

This place has serious problems, but I’ve dealt with so much worse. So I guess the answer to your last question is “low standards.” Before this problem arose and once my AGM and I started getting along, it was much easier to give them a pass because at night I didn’t need to deal with most of this shit.

Lots of places have policies against de facto partners (regardless of gender) working together for various reasons… I might be mis-reading your story but I don’t see anything in there that could be considered “homophobia”.

Many places have messed up HR procedures at the moment- I’ve certainly applied for several jobs where the interview has basically concluded with “You’re exactly what we’re looking for and we’ll be in touch next week after the [Next Manager Up The Chain] has OKd everything!”, only to hear… nothing. And when you call them, the responses range from “Oh yeah, sorry, they hired someone else [Probably someone’s mate, you think cynically]” to “Sorry, don’t know anything about it”.

In short, a “Sorry, no, we’re not hiring your partner” doesn’t necessarily mean “homophobia”, it could simply mean “not enough money in the budget” or “Actually, someone has a friend who needs a job” or any one of a number of stupid but non-discriminatory reasons.

I know of many places that don’t hire boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives of people who are already working for them. The main problem being that if a problem develops with one, a problem almost invariably develops with both. And, if one leaves due to hard feelings, it is almost invariably the case that both leave. Businesses don’t like these types of potential difficulties and vulnerabilities.

From the OP:

Employers also hate losing a great employee who does a good job working a shitty shift.

If you have any suspicions that your sexuality was the issue, ask the AGM. This may sound bad, but if you bring it up it will no doubt get to the higher-ups, who will dread the thought of any anti-gay discrimination, esp if they are a major chain.

Ahem…thanks. :slight_smile:

OK, so someone with some power got their other half a job there. It happens, contrary to policy. Doesn’t make it homophobia because that some someone won’t give the OP’s partner a job, although I agree it is a double standard.

Still, if the OP genuinely thinks anti-gay discrimination is the reason their partner wasn’t hired, then they’d be well advised to take it up with someone higher up the chain of command- but (and I’m acting as a form of Devil’s Advocate here), they should be prepared to accept that the non-hiring of their partner was for operational or written policy reasons and not because someone there doesn’t like homosexuals.

It’s probably too early in the morning . . . I am not seeing how the religious angle has anything to do with the OP’s situation. :confused: Little help?

What’s that got to do with anything? It’s a hotel, isn’t it? Maybe you got derailed by the prior job at the Salvation Army?

I think the mention of the previous job with the Salvation Army confused the Captain a little.

I think that must have been the case. I misread and thought he was still working for the Salvation Army.

Ask for a copy of the policy, so that you can see if there are other positions your partner is eligible for within the company.

Ask for a meeting with AGM for clarification on the policy, given the other relationships in existence at the hotel.

Finally, while some hotels have a strong religious group that owns them - they also sell porn on the TV and booze in bar. This sounds more like a local issue than a company issue IMHO.

Good luck.

First, I think that if you like your job, you need to limit your involvement in this – or at least your involvement that your employer can see. This is your fiance’s issue and he should handle it.

Second, I think that even your fiance can’t start from the assumption that the reason he wasn’t hired was discrimination, but there’s no reason he can’t follow up on the issue further. I would suggest that he call the AGM and very politely ask if the AGM could give him further information as to why he wasn’t hired. If the AGM declines, I would suggest your fiance tell the AGM that the reason he (fiance) is asking, is that he is concerned that his sexual orientation might have entered into the decision-making process, which is of course illegal, which is why he is asking. This very likely might get the AGM to be a bit more forthcoming as of course he will deny any discriminatory motive.

If the AGM says the reason is because your fiance lives with you, your fiance is likely SOL becuase that is probably a legitimate consideration in making a hiring decision.

So then the issue becomes – is that in turn just a pretext for discrimination? Frankly, being able to point to only one instance of the hiring of a romantic interest, is probably not going to be enough. They could say the didn’t know about that relationship at the time the guy was hired, or they could say that they have changed their policy since because after the guy was hired they decided it wasn’t a good idea. BUT if your fiance can point to a pattern of allowing the hiring of romantic interests, which simply was not allowed in your case, and your case alone – then I think you have a good arguement the hiring decision was discriminatory.

So, assuming you get to that point – where are you? Your fiance can file a complaint with your state EEC or the federal EEOC for discriminatory hiring practices, but where do you want this to end up at the end of the day? Do you want the hotel to HAVE to hire him? Because that’s not going to be a good workplace for him, ever. Do you think your fiance could receive money damages for the discrimination? Maybe yes at the end of the day, but probably not enough to off-set the heartache and drama it will take to get from here to there. Or might your fiance feel that the issue is important enough to pursue as a matter of principle? Admirable, but again do not underestimate the amount of heartache and drama that will entail. Meanwhile, do you continue to work there? What adverse conditions will fall upon you?

IOW – long story long – it is certainly possible that your fiance was not hired for an impermissible discriminatory reason. But PROVING that will be very difficult, and may not really improve your and his life even if it can be done.

But whatever is done, if anything, should be done by him. You have no vested interest in whether your employer hires your fiance or not, so it’s not really something you have any standing to object to or be mad about. That said, if I were you and I thought my employer discriminated against my fiance based on his (and my) sexual orientation, I would be quietly looking for another job.

I get the feeling from how the OP describes the human resource woman that the drama is the payoff.

As far as the other couple goes, it might have to do with the reporting structure or organization of the company. My employer prohibits close relatives (including spouses) from being in the same reporting path or reporting to the same manager. I’m in HR; my wife could work in Finance or IS, but not in HR unless she was in a completely different department.

I would not consider hiring the spouse or fiance of an employee into a job where they would be working together.

For her, or for him?