Fuckin Oakland cops! or: I am a fuckin moron.

The BBQ Pit
1

Last month I blew through a red light, actually two in a row, right in front of an Oakland motorcycle cop. On my bike. The result? A ticket for $271.

I deserved this ticket. I can be really reckless on my bike. And I’ll relentlessly blow through stop signs and red lights if I can, as many other habitual riders do.

(obligatory whine coming) But I lived in San Francisco for ten years, rode exactly the same way, and never got a ticket! And, part of the fun of riding your bike in the city is flouting the traffic laws!! Whine, pule, curse, kick the dirt, lay down on the ground and kick my heels.

So what do I do? Let me tell you. Today, I cut across four lanes of traffic, cutting off a car that honked at me, blew through another red light, right in front of an Oakland motorcycle cop. The result? A ticket for $271.

AAAARRRGGHHHH!!! I REALLY deserved this ticket. Obviously I have a fuckin death wish on my bike. Ive thought and thought about it, and I guess all I can say is: if it aint movin, I dont see it. My medulla must take over or something. The cop was right in front of me!! I have no defense. I have no excuse. And furthermore, I know full well that by posting this thread, I’m leaving myself wide open to all the prissy semantic law-abiding motherfuckers and self-righteous motorists who will fall all over themselves, simulposting that I deserve these tickets because, gasp, I BROKE THE LAW! Well, cmon, get it over with, do your worst, I deserve it.

Man, I don’t know what to do. I ride 70-100 miles a week, just getting around. Ever since my first ticket, I’ve tried to remind myself to pay attention. But I know I’ve run a hundred red lights since that first ticket. Some non rational part of my brain just_takes_over when I ride. And, 20+ years of bad habits are hard to break. (Don’t I know it!) I’m afraid to get back on my fuckin bike!

I haven’t worked since May. I cant afford this. Why, oh why, must the goddamned Oakland peedee be so goddamned picayune? Why, oh why, am I such a GODDAMNED FUCKING MORON!!

Thank you for your kind attention.

2

You won’t hear that from me. What you will hear is that you deserve those tickets because YOU’RE GONNA KILL SOMEBODY!

You apparently can’t see well enough to know when a cop is right in front of you, yet you seem supremely confident that you can blast through intersections against the red, and no opposing traffic will ever interrupt your journey.

No helmet, either, right?

Pretty lame rant, overall. I don’t give out ratings, but if I did, it’d be about a 3.

3

You know what has bothered me is that $271. Why not $270 or $275. Noooo they have to add that 1 dollar on. Where did it come from? And why is your ticket the same as for the carpool lane violation?

You should have rode like the wind. I have not seen a good “high” speed chase in awhile. Ok that maybe because I don’t watch TV during the day, but you might have made the evening news.

[sub]you crossed 4 lanes of traffic? You are either brave or stupid. :)[/sub]

4

Gotta say, I’m with El_Kabong with this one. If you aren’t mentally together enough to notice the cops or the red lights, it’s time to get a bus pass. ACTransit is your friend.

The fine is a little steep, but I believe the comparison to the carpool fine isn’t quite right. The carpool fine is posted at $271, but that’s just the starting point. I know a couple of people who have gotten tagged and there are other fees depending on how fast you were going and, I think what city you are in at the time (?). I know somebody who owed over $600 for having 2 people in a four seater on the bay bridge carpool lane.

5

Be glad you didn’t do that in a construction zone: double fines. $542.

Oh, and be glad that, although you evidently don’t give a fuck about your own life, YOU HAVEN’T FUCKING KILLED SOMEONE ELSE YET ASSHOLE!

6

Post some details about yourself, so I can start writing the obituary and the Darwin Award application.

7

Just out of curiousity, by “bike”, are you referring to a motorcycle or a bicycle?

I mean, if you’re referring to a bicycle, then your odds of getting killed are just as bad, but with less chance of finishing somebody off on your way out…

8

Just out of curiosity, why are you posting this here, essvee? Are you bragging? Complaining? Just sayin’? What exactly are you looking for?

9

im posting because i wanted to vent. $271 is a lot of money. times 2, even. and also because i deserve any and all shit i get. i WANT you people to give me shit.

yes, i wear a helmet. no, im not bragging. im REALLY MAD at myself because im so goddamn reckless on my bike, and that when i see a red light, i dont think, gee, better gear down, rather, i dont think at all. i just look to see if i can make it and then i gun it. again, if it aint movin, i guess i dont see it; thats why i did that in front of the cop.

and i guess im also mourning my recklessness. it is a hell of a lot of fun to ride like a bat out of hell, and to flout any and all traffic laws. but ive been lucky. and i AM really stupid. its time to wake up and pay attention. old habits are hard to break, but this one, i gotta.

[artie fufkin] go on, kick this ass! im not asking, im telling here. [/artie fufkin]

10

Do you have a bumper sticker or article of clothing that says, “Kill a biker, go to JAIL!”? Because that would be, like, you know, ironic or something.

Maybe if they double the fine or take your license away next time, you’d have the incentive to start retraining that brain of yours before you suffer the inevitable serious head injury.

11

At least essvee isn’t blaming anyone else for their stupidity. Nor is essvee demanding that others change to suit his particular needs.

Marc

12

Because of couse, riding a motorcycle into a car always kills the occupants of the car.

Not to condone essvees’ actions at all, they aren’t all that brilliant

But unless someone happens to be walking in the middle of thos 4 lanes he cut accross, he’s not going to be killing anyone but himself.

13

What if somebody swerves to avoid hitting him and hits another car? I’ve seen it happen.

essvee, grow the fuck up or get off the road.

14

He might not kill anyone else (UNLESS HE HITS ANOTHER BIKE DRIVER. Duh. I’ve seen it happen) but someone’s gonna have to scrape him up off the asphalt and it’s not a pretty job.

essvee, if I was you, and your budget allows it, park the bike for a bit and take out a lease on a LOW END car. Just long enough to retrain the gas-pedal-brain connection. Pretty sure the extra $$ you spend in gas will be covered by the tickets you don’t get.

15

Wump,

He’s not looking at what he’s doing when he’s running the red lights. He could very well hit a pedestrian.

16

Hey, if he kills himself, he’s still killin’ somebody, right?

[Hijack] BTW, 600 bucks for a flaming CARPOOL violation? Now that’s rant-worthy…
[/Hijack]

17

essvee, I’m tempted to come down to Orlando, ride my bike around, have some guy in a car yell at me while I obey the law, then come over and kick your ass for damaging my 2-wheeling reputation.

Dork.

18

Actually, a friend of my dad’s got creamed in front of her office building by a biker who careened through the crosswalk. She’s now in a permanent vegetative state.

19

essvee, I fear you are not long for this earth.

20

I wasn’t disqualifying that as a possibility, it was covered by Wump, and cars swerving was covered by whiterabbit. My apologies, I’ll insert blanket coverage in the future :stuck_out_tongue: