Maybe it has something to do with seeing whether or not a person is honest. Not being able to look someone in the eye may make that someone wonder if what you are saying to them is a lie.
God bless you always!!! 
Holly
Also, there are several social behaviors that do not necessarily follow logically from a need to survive or obtain resources, but we do them anyway for a variety of not-necessarily-rational (or irrational) reasons.
It reflects poorly on you if you don’t recognize social conventions and also if you are incapable of at least faking them for 10 minutes.
- If you’re going to make a guess, don’t guess something so grossly stupid.
- You’re a fucking idiot.
Taking notes is a good strategy, you can look up at the person, make eye contact briefly (too long can be seen as off putting as too little eye contact), and then glance back down to your pad. As mentioned, it would be great if you could practice with someone you know well.
Making eye contact is an important way that people project that they are confident and engaged in a conversation, but ultimately it is important because people say it’s important and not learning the skill has negative consequences.
For me, that’s okay if it’s only one place you are looking. It’s fine with me if someone makes eye contact, then slides their eyes somewhere else, then back to eyes, then somewhere else (preferably not the same place), etc. There should never be fixed stares.
It demonstrates that you are personable, attentive, and engaged. It’s a sign that you can work well communicating and taking instruction. It’s something most people do in a social environment.
I am way too young (and good looking) to be all “get offa my lawn you damn kids!”, but I was raised and still believe making eye contact is a simple sign of respect and professionalism. If you eyes are wandering all over the place or focused on my nose or eyebrows, it signals to me that you are either not paying attention, you don’t care what I have to say, or you’re dishonest. There’s a reason people say “look me in the eyes and tell me that”.
I really don’t see how simple eye contact is “threatening” or makes you feel like you need to punch someone. Sorry about losing your job, but I would have a really tough time hiring anyone who won’t look me in the eye.
It is about some confidence and salesmanship. Even if you’re interviewing to work on an assembly line, you still have to sell yourself and convince them that you’re the guy/girl for it.
For interviews or department reviews, I always make sure I make eye contact with everyone in the room, not just the person asking the questions.
Still, if that’s the deciding factor for why you didn’t get the job, Frylock, then fuck them. I’d rather have an experienced introvert than some wannabe alpha male.
Actually, I don’t think that’s a stupid guess. Lack of eye-contact is a sign of lack of honesty. Like when they ask you the, “What are your weaknesses,” question. I would suppose that if you are not making eye-contact while answering that, then it could be looked at as lack of honesty.
And?
A used-car salesman will have a firm handshake and look you square in the eye.
You still best make sure you know where your wallet is and to have the car inspected by an independent mechanic than take his word for it.
Eye contact as a measure of honesty is a con-man’s best friend.
I see; thanks.
I’m sorry for the disappointment and frustration you’re feeling. What kind of work are you applying for? My brother is an actuary, not really the most social job, and he got rejected for not sounding upbeat enough in a phone interview. Um, he crunches databases and has very little to no customer contact.
But yeah, maybe don’t drift to the mouth, because it may mean “you have a pretty mouth”. :eek: 
Would you feel better if you were told that “failure to make eye contact” is a euphamism for “we think you’re a weirdo?”
I teach at the University level. And I know that students think I’m a good teacher–they tell each other and other professors this all the time, outside of my presence. (And I hear about it later…) I’ve literally never had a negative comment, except that I talk too fast sometimes, and even that was written in an affectionately semi-jocular tone. So eye contact or no, my students at least think I’m teaching them, challenging them, and caring about their progress etc.
But anyway, yeah I know I will need to work on this. Maybe in the future if I can get over the eye contact thing, it will even help me through that first week or two of students asking what the heck I’m on about. (They warm up to me later. 
)
Of course not. But I don’t think that’s what’s going on here. It’s true I literally don’t make eye contact.
If you’re in a job interview and they ask “What are your weaknesses?”, stand up and walk out because the person interviewing you doesn’t know what they’re doing. Or, they learned how to interview in 1980 and haven’t bothered to update their skills.
If you want to add a bit of dramatic flair; before you walk out, say “My main weakness is an inability to fake an answer to pointless, inane interview questions”
Try this - look at the person’s face, and then let your focus go soft and concentrate on your peripheral vision. It can help to do something with one of your hands, like rub you fingertips together a bit, just at the edge of your vision. Then you can look down at your notes again or something.
Do you wear glasses? If you do, adjusting them on your face so your focus isn’t as clear might help, or if you usually wear contacts leave them out and use your glasses as you would cheater readers. (Though I guess this would only help if you’re nearsighted --ie: blind as a bat – like I am!)
Anyway, good luck. Definitely practice with people and situations your are more comfortable in, and when it doesn’t matter to you so much that you do well. .
I think it may be less a euphemism, and more of an incomplete truth, iyswim. You literally don’t make eye contact, and that’s enough to trip a lot of people’s weirdo meter. But people tend to shy away from just flat-out telling someone “We think you’re a weirdo” for reasons that I think are self-explanatory. Much more politic to simply say you didn’t make enough eye contact.
I think this is important. Looking up while you are talking or constructing your answer looks like you’re just thinking. Looking down at the desk makes you look embarrassed.
Whoa, I didn’t know that was considered an outdated kind of interview question. What’s supposed to be wrong with it, and what are you supposed to do in order to suss out the desired information instead of asking “what are your weaknesses?”
Yeah, my thing is I just kind of look off in the distance, sometimes closing my eyes, when I’m thinking while talking. Maybe training myself to look up will make it look like I’m thinking and not just distracted.
Or… maybe training myself to look up will make me unable to think!