I don’t whether to thank you for reenabling this site (yes, this site, the Dope) or to pit you for blocking access to it in the first place. I don’t know why you had it blocked in the first place. It’s not a porn site. It doesn’t even have any questionable graphical content. Maybe it was the word “dope” in the URL that made you think it was a NSFW site. Yes, it has a message board, and yes, I could post confidential information about our company and our clients here, but trust me, I have no reason to and I am not about to. I just want to have some fun here and pass the time between calls. Thank you.
This is definitely worse, at least MFM is my boss.
However, this afternoon she continues with the “How do do this again?,” but wants me to come to her desk. As I repeatedly (try to) show her, she gets up, “You sit and do it, I hate people looking over my shoulder.”
What in the Fannie-Farkle-Flying-Finger-of-Fatal-Fucking is that!
“Coming up on the 10:00pm News: Defenestrated Motherfucking Bitch Manager Anally Impaled on Flagpole. Details in Sixty Seconds.”
Okay. Breathe in, breathe out.
Oooooh, that’s gotta hurt.
True, but Denzel Washington did not have to go there.
My roommate has been frickin’ dying for the past week or so. The first few days, I was sympathetic and shit because he has a nasty chest cold and I’m nice like that, but after the 4th time he woke me up in the middle of the night with that airhorn blast he calls a cough, I was not feeling so charitable. And my choir practices have been sounding like tuberculosis conventions after every song. Eat some goddamn citrus, people!
Don’t hire temps to do payroll, you cheap fucks. At least twenty of us are getting temporarily screwed out of a week’s pay because you don’t want to pay bennies to anyone. I’d better see that money and the overtime you owe me by the end of the month, assholes.
Dear boss, please read the entire proposed procedure before you start critiquing it. I don’t know how to tactfully tell you that I answered your question about section 4 in section 2.
What kind of disgusting lowlife fuckwit shitbag leaves a plastic bag of shit in a parking space for someone else to run over and possibly step in? I don’t know if it was dog or human, dog would have been bad but the idea that it was human is mind-boggling. Could someone have had to take a dump so bad that they pooped in a bag and then left it in the parking lot? There was a garbage can 20 feet from the spot the shitbag left his/her shitbag. I did not step in it, however my poor car did. Disgusting idiots.
Hey, lady! You in the aisle in Michael’s taking up all the space with your cart parked in the middle of the aisel and your two kids that you can’t pay attention to because you’re too busy yakking away on your cell-phone! There are other people in this world besides you and your bratty offspring and these other people would like to walk down the same aisle and look at things. What’s the word I want for you? I’ve heard it hear before … oh yeah, cuntrocket! Listen cuntrocket. Get off the cell phone, control your spawn, get whatever items you’re looking for and get the hell out of the aisle in a reasonable time frame! I wandered around for over 10 minutes periodically checking the aisle to see if you had finished yet and you were still lording yourself over that aisle every time. I also couldn’t help but notice other people attempting to go down the same aisle and giving up after seeing what an inconsiderate hoggy little twit you were.
To my boyfriend. SHUT THE GODDAMN REFRIGERATOR DOOR! I remember a long time ago when you lived with a roommate and the fridge door was always getting found open and he’d accuse you and you’d accuse him, well guess what? IT WAS YOU! You have done this several times at my home now and I’d really rather not have to toss out all my food or risk getting food poisoning. Everything still felt cold but it was open several hours and a lot of the stuff was sweating. Leaving the seat up is just annoying, leaving the fridge door open is potentially expensive from wasted food and life-threatening. So cut it the hell out and shut the damn door.
Not only that, it burns out the condenser and then you have to buy a new fridge. Says the person who now has to buy a new fridge for that reason*. That’s the kind of behavior I expect from a nine-year-old boy, not a grown man. At least you can thump a nine-year-old on the top of his head when he does it.
(among others–who puts the coils on the bottom of a fridge? Oh yeah, companies that want their products to burn out every three years!)
DFW metro has about 6 million people and about 9 million cars on the road at any given time. When the road looks like a parking lot behind you and clear sailing in front, that’s a sure sign it’s time to PUT THE FUCKING CELL PHONE DOWN!
Got behind this idiot yesterday. I wanted to pull off, find a sporting goods store, buy a gun, force my way back onto the freeway…
Mom, I’m 45. The head games might have worked when I was 6 but they don’t any more. If you THINK I feel guilty or duty-bound or anything else to put up with your self-serving bullshit, think again. The child may be the father of the man, but as a specie we reserve the right to eat our young.
The quantum assumption that if something’s wrong with schools, the solution must be to make teachers “improve.” It couldn’t be that the parents don’t make their kids take any responsibility for anything.
Oog, the meetings with parents. “What can we do to help Johnny pass all his classes?” Um, what if Johnny A) came to school once in awhile, B) attended classes while at school, C) paid attention during class, D) did the work, and E) turned it in, even if it’s only half-done, before the deadlines? My God, we’re crippling these children when we teach them that it’s up to us adults and they can sit passively by.
Thanks to the poster who mentioned using a can-opener on hermetically sealed shit. I saw an article detailing “wrap rage” some time ago and I understand. Dayum those things have sharp edges when you cut 'em up, don’t they? I wonder if the military has come up with an app yet.
I tried the can opener, but without success–must have been too large a package, or I’m just too uncoordinated! However, I’ve just bought a special tool to open these kinds of packages with. I haven’t been able to try it out yet, so I don’t know how it works.
Why is it that every time I go to Chicago I get sick, either while I’m there or right after I get home? Last November I spend ten days there, came down with a cold the second day, and spent the rest of the trip sneezing and coughing. I was there again for Christmas, and came home with a hacking cough that lasted over a week (the doctor diagnosed it as “temporary asthma”).
I had to go back last Friday for my Dad’s funeral and came home on Thursday. That night my throat started bothering me, and now my head is stuffed and I’m sneezing constantly.
LurkMeister, I have a theory that when we go to new places (or people come here), we are exposed to new bugs that we don’t have an immunity for yet. That’s why I call Christmas The Germ Exchange.
Well, I spent the first 54 years of my life in Chicago. Could I have lost my immunity to the local bugs in only a year? Although when I moved to NC I did start having a little sinus trouble, which my new doctor attributed to the change in location and prescribed Flonase to be used “as needed”.
The good news is that the cold has moved off of my tonsils with minimal horribleness.
The bad news is that it’s now camping out resolutely in my head, and whilst my nose isn’t fully blocked I’ve got that horrible cotton-wooly, stuffed feel in my sinuses, behind my forehead and in both ears. Dagnabbit!
I know my 17 year old, chipped, basic model truck totally gives me away as a member of the Evil Rich Establishment that keeps you in the gutter, and you are right to punish me for my misdeeds, but could you just fucking steal the thing instead of peeling off bits of it or spray painting it?
Oh FUCK. My drawer was off by $79. Short, that is. And Steve won’t be in until Tuesday, so I’ve got three days until I can find out how bad I’m in trouble. (I’m NOT fired-we’re too short-handed, and it’s not like I don’t do a damned good job). Hopefully Budd will address it, and I can get it over with.
But even after I posted that I thought more about it.
I have encountered some miserable human beings in my years and I was trying to imagine any of them that would just leave the door of the fridge open and walk away.
Hitler and Pol Pot closed the door to the refrigerator! Osama Bin Laden knows to close the door to the Kenmore!
It isn’t like he just had a mental lapse once, he’s done it before and lied about it!
It’s like a giant FU!
This just came out of left field and hit me. Being pissed off at the state of affairs of the world just doesn’t seem like fun any more.
When you ask me if I want anything from the supermarket and I say “no thanks”
I do not mean “Yes, get me some peanut butter”
I know it’s on offer but I’ve got enough peanut butter to sink the fucking Titanic and although I’m very fond of it I’m fast beginning to loath the sodding sight of jars of peanut butter.
