Fucking NAZI-ASS cafeteria

The BBQ Pit
1

OK so I get into work this morning, and over my coffee, I realize that I’m rather hungry, so I go to the cafeteria to get some breakfast. The special is this Egg McMuffin®-type thing with a small drink (coffee, milk, or juice). I tell the lady I only want the sandwich.

“You don’t want a drink?”

“No, I have coffee at my desk.”

“Not even some juice or some milk?”

“No.”

She then yells out to the cafeteria manager/chef (“chef” - what a misnomer, given the crap they serve) guy to ask how much it is without the drink. “Same price,” he replies.

OK WTF?!? At least deduct whatever the small drink would have cost had I bought it on my own.

But no, they’re Nazis. They keep their utensils, napkins, condiments, jams, jellies, and the like, virtually under fucking LOCK AND KEY. As in, behind the cashier, so you can’t even take a tiny little packet of salt or pepper without paying something like 20 cents for it.

So I said, OK, I’ll have a juice then. I go to the fridge-thing and get a juice and return to the cash.

It’s too big, I’m told. It has to be 8 oz. of juice, a small coffee, or a small milk. “Well, there are no bottles of juice that are 8 oz.”

“We mean the juice from the fountain.”

“That’s not juice. That’s punch. OK, screw it. I won’t have anything.”

“Are you sure? Not even milk or a small coffee?”

“I told you, I already have coffee at my desk.”

“Bon, alors, monsieur, trois dollars, s’il-vous-plaît.” (This exchange took place in French.)

I return the juice to the fridge thing, then walk back to the cash.

Man in line behind me, waving change at me: “Do you need money?”

“No, I’m fine.”

I get my change, my food, and return to my desk.

The worst part is that now it’s lunchtime and I’m not hungry, and that abomination of an Egg McMuffin® ripoff gave me incredible stomach pain all morning.

Never. Eating. There. Again.

  • s.e.
2

Um, Scott they’re Rotten, Rat-Bastard, Goat-Felching, Camel-Licking, Sundy-Shopping Scum, but they’re not Nazis.

K? :slight_smile:

Al.

P.S. Good rant - my actual cafeteria at work is pretty decent, but there is a coffee place closer to my office that SUX! I can sympathize.

3

I had it all pictured - sinister goose-stepping uniformed counter workers, a leather-coated monocle-wearing supervisor, monotonous singing of “McMuffin Uber Alles” - and then you ruined it by having them speak French.

Thanks for screwing up the imagery.

4

So it’s more of a Vichy France cafeteria. “I’d like the Petain pancakes with Eggs Laval over easy.”

5

Yeah, but did they have Vichy water?

6

Bah, curse you, Gobear, and your simulposting, joke stealking ways!

7

I wonder how that cafeteria manages to stay in business, their moneygrubbing nonsense combined with the poor excuse for food must be driving away plenty of customers. I like seeing eateries with customer service problems being replaced with ones that presumably have better service. For example, I once tried to order something from a booth at a local mall food court; the bitch who was supposed to be at the counter had her back to it and was yakking away with the cook. I stood there for ten to 15 minutes trying in vain to get her attention. A couple of weeks later that stall had closed up and was being prepared for a new occupant.

Then there was the time I went to have lunch in a restaurant in a mall near where I work. I was on the verge of paying for my Coke and walking out when they finally served me, 30 fucking minutes after taking my order! I could have brought up the fact that I work for the largest employer in the neighborhood but I didn’t. No, when I got back to work I told all my coworkers to avoid that place. Thankfully, that restaurant has since been replaced with one with not only better service but better food too.

8

Wait until they serve soup!

9

Soup?

10

Jeff Olsen, this is what I don’t understand either. If I owned that mall food court business and if, for some reason, I was unable to check on it every day, wouldn’t I start to wonder why my business wasn’t making money? Wouldn’t I go there to see if the employees were acting right, see if other businesses were getting more traffic and what they were doing different from me?

I just don’t understand it but I don’t understand many other things. Maybe people have so much money that they can buy/run a business into the ground and never check to see why it is running into the ground.

{shrugs}

11

I think they stay in business by being the cafeteria in scott evil’s place of work…

12

Reminds me when I was in high school. Hot dog day-every meal came with TWO hot dogs. I hate wasting food, so I asked if I could just have one.

“But…it comes with two.”

“But I can’t EAT two.”

“Well, give one to a friend.”

“Um, no-they’re buying their lunches too.”

I didn’t care-for a dollar fifty, I wasn’t going to grouse that they take the price of the 2nd hot dog off. But they couldn’t understand why I only wanted one hot dog.

13

I want to know why it’s a nazi ASS cafeteria. Do all the waiters wear SS uniforms with the butts cut out?

14

matt, darling, having just gone through frustrating phone cord extension troubleshooting, I don’t know how to take that.

Do you mean:

a) I’m somehow fat and eat there all the time, thereby giving them all their business? Because I hardly ever eat there.

b) That some fat boss of mine keeps them afloat? Dear, he was fired about a year ago.

c) :rolleyes: Opal has something to do with it?

or d) Because we’re in bumblefuck Dorval and there’s nowhere else to go?

Please clarify this. I don’t need jabs right now, especially with the current situation at work.

Thank you.

  • s.e.
15

Well, they’ve already done several things, like reducing the number of hot meal choices from two to one, eliminating custom sandwich making, cutting hours, reducing staff, etc. They put up several notices about it, citing a decline in their clientele.

Gee, I wonder why?

Fuckers.

I could very easily cross the highway using the overpass and eat something substantial, well-made, and completely unrevolting at the Tim Horton’s. I don’t know why I don’t.

I can’t even stand to eat my own lunch, brought from home in that prison cafeteria. It’s depressing as all hell. In the summer, we usually cross the street to the other building and eat at the picnic tables, but it gets too hot for me.

I’d rather stay at my fucking desk while everyone (including my manager) is off eating, so I can surf without fear, and without my left hand hovering over fucking ALT+TAB.

My disgust with the company that runs the food services where I work began the day I started there, two and a half years ago. One of the “perks” (ha!) about your first day is that you and your manager get coupons for a free, full lunch. It was some kind of disgusting sausage in fucking diarrhea sauce with some onions thrown in for good (?) measure. I ended up having a small sandwich (back when they would make them for you) and a drink.

The scariest thing is, I know people who never bring their lunch, and are entirely dependent on the cafeteria every fucking day for sustenance. Oh, to have a digestive tract capable of that.

Ugh.

The thing is, I don’t think the food services company is entirely at fault. They operate at many other companies and universities, but my stupid company doesn’t subsidize them. So they cut costs. And things suck.

To top it all off, the “chef” who shouted “regular price” this morning would always flirt with me when I’d see him leave work in the afternoon. Today, I was sitting out on the grass, having a smoke, and he drove by in his little green car, and I saw him look out at me as if to flirt or whatever, and I was just like, fucker.

  • s.e.
16

Oooo - can I get one of these to go please? With a side of Dear Bum Juice*?
*Funny story - I could tell it if anyone cared.

17

Oh, alice, dear, please don’t, not right now. I think we’ve had enough of that kind of talk for one thread. If it’s that kind of story, anyway. :wink:

scott, my guess would be a charitable (d). First rule: always assume people have meant to be kinder than they might sound. Until proven otherwise. Now, as for the cashier: comme on dit en francais, “I don’t want no stinkin’ juice.” Je ne veux rien de jus —?

I really insist that you eat at Tim Horton’s from now on. That or the Second Cup. Sweetie, after eating for eight years in that prison of a cafeteria, the local pissoir looks rather gorgeous!

18

I meant d) ii. : they’re the cafeteria at your place of work, i.e. they have a monopoly. In response to Jeff Olsen’s puzzlement about how they stay in business if there are other cafeterias (when there aren’t). That’s it.

19

Jerevan:

J’veux pas le criss de jus, viarge.

20

Oh, good. Thought you might have been getting catty, dear. Giò was at a loss, too. Poor thing had a migraine this morning and had to go home for a stiff espresso. It helped.

Hostie d’tabarnac, j’n’veux pas d’jus, OK? T’es-tu sourde? Hein? J’ai déjà mon criss de café à mon bureau, hostie d’plotte! Maudit, c’est ben fucké icitte.

And, matt, never, ever swear at my love Jerevan like that again! :wink:

  • s.e.