Fucking ping-pong tables and the fucking fucks who fuck with them

The BBQ Pit
1

Dear titular fucking-fucks,

You may not have noticed, but we only have one microwave here at the office. And that one microwave happens to be about 6 inches from the titular fucking ping pong table which you titular fucking fucks are too fucking stupid to stop fucking around with!

Is there some compelling reason you can’t fucking stop playing ping pong for the two fucking minutes it take me to warm up a bowl of soup?! You think I fucking like getting hit in the fucking head with a fucking ping-pong ball?? Maybe you’d like me to whack you in the face with my balls for a few minutes, eh?

And shouldn’t you be fucking working? Who the fuck plays ping pong at fucking work? What the fuck year do you think it is, 19 fucking 97? You mean to tell me with unemployment at a 16 year high, one week after a layoff, the company is still fucking paying you to fucking play fucking ping pong? Jesus Fucking Christ!

In short, get fucked!

2

I would but that middle crease is SCARY, man!

3

You have a ping pong table at work? Sweet! All we got was a lousy foosball game.

4

You have a ping-pong table in the office?

I really think you should stop whining.

5

The campus I work on has a volleyball court, ping pong table and life size chess set. It’s pretty sweet.

6

We don’t have shit but a microwave. You all suck.

7

This bears repeating.

8

Your biggest problem at work is getting hit with a fucking ping pong ball? An actual ping pong ball? That weighs like a gram or two?

You are a fucking pussy.

And I want your fucking life. Getting hit in the head with a ping pong ball is a fucking wet dream compared to my work problems.

9

You have soup? I want soup.

10

Only if you can get nailed while you are warming up a tasty meal, like cup-o-soup. Cup-o-soup, how I pine for you.

11

You got hit in the back of the head with a ping pong ball? :eek:

Poor baby!

Did it require stitches?

So let’s get this straight. You’re ragging on these people for not working while you’re …not working.

12

We have an air hockey table. Blood drawn is not out of the norm.

13

Well, you could always “accidentally” splash them with your soup, I guess.
(As for the ping-pong and air-hockey, I have you all beat-WE have a combination trampoline/bungee jump.)

14

No. That is not my biggest problem. It’s just rude, inconsiderate, and really easy to rant about.

No, I’m ragging on them for lobbing ping pong balls at my head while I’m hurrying to scurry back to my dank little cave to continue staring at this monitor and answering inane questions. Not your inane questions. That’s just a hobby.

15

It’s pretty bull shit to be hitting people with ping pong balls when they’re heating up food, and some of that is hot liquids. Cut the table in half lengthwise so there is more space between.

16

Not enough “fuck” in the thread title for me.

17

Move the microwave.

18

I do not think this means what you think it means.

19

And travels at an average speed of 54.5658 MPH.

20

Now I can’t get the thought/image of a ping-pong ball landing -splash!- in the soup, out of my head. Thank you.