Stupid-Ass Straight Dope Thread Titles

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m sure that this has been done for, but this is special … I’M doing it.

I’m fucking tired of scanning the board looking for interesting discussions and coming across stupid-ass thread titles that tell you fucking NOTHING, NADA, ZIP about the content of the thread!

I’m gonna name the names of those threads and I invite you to do the same. Time we shamed those people who post this stupid stuff for not engaging the brain before starting a new thread.

Here goes:

Ewwwww. -MPSIMS
I’m sure something vaguely disgusting or objectionable is being discussed, but otherwise, this title gives me nuthin.

I just made a very big step … -MPSIMS
Whoopee. In what respect? In what direction? I dunno.

"Deep Thoughts" -MPSIMS
Yeah. Should have had one before naming the thread.

What Would You Do If… -Great Debates
…the OP had a clue? Faint, probably.

What In The World Are They Saying? -Great Debates
Is this one of those “if you don’t know I’ll never tell” things?

Bacon soda -General Questions
A play on words … in General Questions? Sounds more like MPSIMS to me.

How Much Would A Massage Help? -General Questions
Clearly the thread is about someone wondering if massage would help with an injury or medical condition, but the OP has it backwards … the name of the injury or condition is the part we need to know about.

What does This Hawaiian Word Mean? - General Questions
I dunno, but the thread title means you didn’t think to include the actual word in it, instead substituting the clumsy locution “this Hawaiian word”. Sad, really.

Ladies, What Do You Think About This? -IMHO
I’m thinking they’d like some kind of clue as to what “this” is.

I’m sorry -IMHO
No argument here.

Am I being too sensitive? -IMHO
Well, you ARE being too vague …

I pity the fool who thinks this is a good idea -BBQ
I pity the fool who substitutes “this” for his thread topic.

Zoooooooom -BBQ
Did you whoosh yourself, or what?

Well, I think we’re off to a good start, fell free to comment or suggest your own.

2

Well, since I authored one of the titles in question. . . I’d just like to point out that we have limited space with which to create a title. I thought about adding something along the lines of “regarding behaviour of medical professional” or something, but figured anyone interested in giving an opinion as to my sensitivity level would read it regardless of why exactly I was asking.

Half the fun of clicking on a thread is the surprise of its true content–more often than not, my idea of what a thread is about starts out correct but the conversation goes off in interesting and unexpected directions.

3

What Jane said - I’m also one of the authors of one of the titles - “I just made a very big step”. I explained the big step in the thread. It wasn’t like I had the room to say “I just made a very big step and handed all of my credit cards over so I can no longer use them and so I can pay off all of my debt.”

Get over yourself. If the thread title doesn’t capture your attention, you’re more than welcome to pass on reading my thread. Personally, I like reading thread titles and trying to harbor a guess on what’s inside. Sometimes it’s totally different from what I think it is. That’s part of the fun of reading the boards to me.

Ava

4

Are you being facetious, Evil Captor?

5

Non-descriptive thread titles really put a hair up my ass.

Really.

They elicit honest-to-goodness gnashing-of-teeth, pulling-of-hair, and other dubiously-double-hyphenated groups-of-words.

That being said, I don’t think that the sampling you’ve offered is representative of particularly egregious offenders.

I pity the fool who thinks this is a good idea
My honest reaction to that thread title earlier today: “Holy crap! They must be making a A-Team movie! Actually, that does sound like it could be good.”

Golly, the thread was just what I expected it to be. How old are you, anyway, that you are somehow insensible to the title’s obvious implications?

What does This Hawaiian Word Mean?
Fine thread title. Unless the word is ‘aloha’, nobody without some sort of rudimentary Hawaiian vocabulary is likely to recognize it, so the thread title is plenty-good. In fact, it may be a better choice than What does the word ‘Wattehva’ mean?, since the specific word might not attract the attention of someone who just happens to have a Hawaiian-English dictionary in their desk drawer.

Am I Being Too Sensitive?
Whaddya want, a one-line essay? There’s enough information there to know it’s an Ann Landers kinda thing.

I’ll stand right beside with regard to something as vague as What Would You Do If… in Great Debates, though.

Won’t somebody think of the hamsters?

6

I meant an A-Team movie, of course.

Yes, the thought that people might think I am incapable of the correct usage of the indefinite article is terribly embarrassing to me, while I have absolutely no self-consciousness about admitting that I believe an A-Team film project may actually turn out to be a worthwhile endeavour. There’s really no use trying to make sense of it.

7

Meaningless thread titles piss me off too. I wish there was a way to mark a thread so I don’t keep re-opening it to figure out what the fuck it’s about, but until then I have to rely on people using a little brain power to think up the title.

8

Well, What In The World Are They Saying? was accidently put into GD by the OP (me). In Cafe Society (were it now resides) posters would have an idea that something heard in either a movie or song was unintelligible.

Sorry to cause you so much distress Evil.

9

Funny how people can’t just say, “Hey, sorry, that was vague.” They have to defend their shitty titles like it’s their children.

10

No it is not funny. You apologize to What Are They Saying right this instant for calling him shitty!

11

I’m sorry… He’s mostly a good kid, but maybe a little too quiet. Doesn’t say much!

12

That’s O.K. Rev. I’ve sent What Are. . . to his room for being equivocal and causing so much distress on this messageboard.
Bad, bad thread title.

13

Old enough to remember when it was a generic sort of thing and didn’t necessarily refer to the A-Team.

What does This Hawaiian Word Mean?
Unless the word is ‘aloha’, nobody without some sort of rudimentary Hawaiian vocabulary is likely to recognize it, so the thread title is plenty-good.**

I know several Hawaiian words and I’ve never owned a Hawaiian dictionary or even visited Hawaii. What would it have COST to put the word in the title? Nuthin. As for your example, “What does the Hawaiian word, ah-ah, as in ah-ah lava, mean?” would get it in one. It would have been so easy to do that title right.

Am I Being Too Sensitive?
Whaddya want, a one-line essay? There’s enough information there to know it’s an Ann Landers kinda thing.

Puh-leeze, you’re the one who’s stretching. “Goldfish rejecting me? – am I being too sensitive?” would have worked much better.

**I’ll stand right beside with regard to something as vague as What Would You Do If… in Great Debates, though.

Feel free to add your own candidates.

14

You RUINED my nanosecond! Gasp! Sob, choke.

15

Thread title <what Mangetout will be thinking when he clicks>

Really hard question… <Oh not the fucking missing dollar again>

Is this true? <No it bloody isn’t - get yourself a duck and test it for yourself, asshole>

16

Lighten up! It takes all of like 5 seconds to click on a thread title and find out what it’s about!

17

Threads have BODIES for a reason.

18

Lucky you! It takes about half an hour here to finally get a thread open.

19

Zactly. Most of the time, I can download 2 or 3 100K photographic, um, images, in the time it takes the SDMB hampsters to open a single screen.

20

I look forward to the day when the board adopts the practice of message bodies consisting solely of N/T. No, really, I do.